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Old 12-04-2013, 04:23 PM   #21
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If one wishes to pay transportation/lodging for guests who could not otherwise afford it that is kind and generous, but nowhere is it required or even encouraged.
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Old 12-04-2013, 04:44 PM   #22
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Just as another data point, I got married on the other coast, hired a guy to officiate that bought his title on the internet (license is all that legally matters) and had a few relatives that lived nearby attend. I'm just as married, for better or worse.
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Old 12-04-2013, 05:13 PM   #23
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I covered a few expenses of my best man, proverbial starving artist (at the time at least). Tux rental, lodging, food. He drove down and I don't think I covered gas, but had at other times.

Its your money, do what you want.
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Old 12-04-2013, 05:31 PM   #24
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And sex?
Definitely on my mission statement...
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Old 12-04-2013, 06:03 PM   #25
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Definitely on my mission statement...
That too, but I don't pay for it.
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Old 12-04-2013, 06:04 PM   #26
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I checked FEHB and i said I can add within 30 days.

http://www.opm.gov/healthcare-insura...-or-remarried/
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Old 12-04-2013, 06:20 PM   #27
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Khan,

I don't know why, but I feel like every time you post on this subject there is far more that you are not telling us than anything you are sharing. Maybe I'm wrong, but it sounds like there is something nagging at you about this whole thing and you are hoping the community here can somehow help you make sense out of all of this.

If I'm wrong, just feel free to ignore me...
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Old 12-04-2013, 06:37 PM   #28
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You could always have the wedding in the location where most of your guests live to make it convenient for them.
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Old 12-04-2013, 06:46 PM   #29
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Khan,

I don't know why, but I feel like every time you post on this subject there is far more that you are not telling us than anything you are sharing. Maybe I'm wrong, but it sounds like there is something nagging at you about this whole thing and you are hoping the community here can somehow help you make sense out of all of this.

If I'm wrong, just feel free to ignore me...
No, this could not be true.... No one would do that!
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Old 12-04-2013, 07:06 PM   #30
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What could go wrong with this picture


Well Khan, someone might suspect fraud... I know that if you marry someone who is not a US citizen in order for them to get benefits such as a green card or even citizenship, that is fraud....

Don't know why you are doing it, but just the little you mention has a big red flag flying in front of me...


If it is convenience, then why have it at a place that will cost so much.... just have it local and you to take a vacation where you want to be.... much cheaper....
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Old 12-04-2013, 07:24 PM   #31
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He is a USA resident and citizen. Wedding will be in Pine Island Florida because that is where he lives and where I will live. Am setting up financials so if he dies first or we end up hating each other, I will go to assisted living and/or he will maintain SS/medicare.
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Old 12-04-2013, 09:16 PM   #32
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He is a USA resident and citizen. Wedding will be in Pine Island Florida because that is where he lives and where I will live. Am setting up financials so if he dies first or we end up hating each other, I will go to assisted living and/or he will maintain SS/medicare.

So it sounds like you are getting more of the help in this arrangement....

As to your original question.... if it were someone that I wanted to be at the wedding and they did not have the funds and the cost of getting them there is 'small' for me.... I would easily pay to get them there... no question in my mind....
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Old 12-05-2013, 10:04 AM   #33
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Heck yes, picking up a family members transportation, lodging etc. is no big deal. If they don't have the resources, and it's not a problem for you, all is fine. As with all things family, discretion is good.

I've been to Pine Island, for BIL/SIL wedding. At the time we had nothing, FIL gifted us 2 tickets to Ft. Myers and we stayed with FIL/MIL. BIL/SIL never knew, and wouldn't have cared.
Best wishes,
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Old 12-05-2013, 12:28 PM   #34
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That too, but I don't pay for it.
I don't always pay cash for it, but somehow there always seems to be a cost...
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Old 12-05-2013, 01:11 PM   #35
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Marriage is for SS and medicare and assisted living and health/car insurance.
A business arrangement with pre-nup and mission statements
I hope this doesn't come across as rude, I'm actually quite serious, but since this sounds more like a 'business arrangement', why would anyone care to attend the wedding? It just doesn't sound like the kind of thing that guests would enjoy, if it isn't an actual celebration of love, not an emotional thing.

Just do it if you have determined it is right for you. JMO.

Maybe there is an emotional component as well, and you just haven't communicated that?

-ERD50
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Old 12-05-2013, 01:51 PM   #36
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I would prefer to just live together. I consider health insurance and SS and medicare and possibly survivor benefits to be an investment in DIY assisted living.
I suppose we love each other; I have visited for increasing amounts of time (next will be all January).
Sex is nice even when one is over 60.
I'm only inviting two or three people.
If you're going to be near Ft Myers in April and can play guitar, contact me and maybe I'll pay you to be on the boat (and will feed you).
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Old 12-05-2013, 02:07 PM   #37
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If you're going to be near Ft Myers in April and can play guitar, contact me and maybe I'll pay you to be on the boat (and will feed you).
Tempting, though I'm not sure I know any tunes appropriate for the occasion...
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Old 12-05-2013, 02:14 PM   #38
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Tempting, though I'm not sure I know any tunes appropriate for the occasion...
Jimmy Buffett?
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Old 12-05-2013, 03:25 PM   #39
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Jimmy Buffett?
Yep, know a few. Then there's Hank Jr.'s (I Like to Have) Women I've Never Had... :-P
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Old 12-05-2013, 03:40 PM   #40
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Since this intended marriage is a "business arrangement" paying for attendees' flights or hotel would seem to be wasted money. Keep the costs down, or invite them but no promise to pay for their travel.
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