Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 06-06-2015, 03:49 PM   #21
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,566
Ours was 40 family members. DW had a $40.00 dress by choice; me a sport jacket. I don't think it was $1000.00 total.

I remember our first meal. On a dock on Seneca lake, a $. 99 six pack of Genesee and a $2.00 pizza. Great time.

🐑
__________________

__________________
MRG is online now   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 06-06-2015, 04:22 PM   #22
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Tadpole's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,170
Mine was more in the range of five to ten dollars. The best man wore jeans, as did the bride; the judge wore white spats. That was 37 years ago. The judge's parlor at his house had a plastic Space Needle on the mantle in lieu of flowers.
__________________

__________________
Tadpole is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2015, 04:25 PM   #23
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
frayne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: 19th Hole
Posts: 2,529
Weddings are big business with an industry built to provide for any and all needs. Personally I think things can get out of hand pretty easy but if you can afford it, go for it.

I don't see or understand people who go in debt in order to pull off a big expensive wedding.

If the odds are 50/50 on lasting matrimony, I would say spend wisely.
__________________
A totally unblemished life is only for saints.
frayne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2015, 05:37 PM   #24
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
travelover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 9,878
I think big weddings are a waste of money, especially for a young couple just starting out. Twenty five grand would go a long way toward getting a foothold in life, whether it be a down payment on a house, most of a decent new car or a good chunk off a student loan.

But I guess those would not make much of an impression on your friends.
__________________
Yes, I have achieved work / life balance.
travelover is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2015, 08:39 PM   #25
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
ls99's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 4,792
A fellow I worked with did it on the cheap. He and the bride to be eloped to Nevada, pulled up the drive in window wedding chapel, a few bucks and the mondatory words of confirming marriage, signed papers took all of of about ten minutes.

Her parents were truly pi$$ed.
__________________
There must be moderation in everything, including moderation.
ls99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2015, 09:13 PM   #26
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 684
Our daughter just got married. I wrote her a check for $20,000, and told her to do whatever she wanted, and invite whoever she wanted. I think she spent most of it on the wedding, including 200 guests
__________________
48Fire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2015, 09:19 PM   #27
Recycles dryer sheets
Derslickmeister's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 249
Quote:
Originally Posted by 48Fire View Post
Our daughter just got married. I wrote her a check for $20,000, and told her to do whatever she wanted, and invite whoever she wanted. I think she spent most of it on the wedding, including 200 guests
That is exactly what we did. I gave DD the money and said whatever is leftover is yours. They had a beautiful beach wedding in Destin, Fl. I think they spent about $15k and used the rest for the honeymoon. This is definitely the way to ensure you stay within budget
__________________
Derslickmeister is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2015, 09:20 PM   #28
Dryer sheet aficionado
jpjr's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Salem
Posts: 39
Our son is getting married this fall in a state park with beautiful surroundings. They both worked two jobs since graduating college to pay off (reduce?) college loans, and they decided that spending a fortune on a wedding just wasn't in the cards. Although we offered modest assistance, they respectfully declined. (We'll make that up later.) I understand the joy of the pomp and ceremony of a large gathering, but is it really necessary to pay $100 a plate for some third cousin or distant aunt to sit at the table in the back of the hall with some other unknown guest? I guess if you have tons of $ then spend it as you may, but if you want to be FIRE, then maybe it can start when you say "I do."
__________________
jpjr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2015, 09:31 PM   #29
Recycles dryer sheets
Revlefty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Highland
Posts: 230
I can't remember what the wedding cost...but the honeymoon cost $350 which was exactly what we got in cash as wedding gifts. That was 42 years ago.


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum
__________________
Revlefty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2015, 10:35 PM   #30
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,384
Quote:
Originally Posted by ERD50 View Post
You can do it for far less and be perfectly happy with it.

-ERD50
If you are male.,the cheapest and best, long term as well as short, is to take a nice vacation with your honey, in lieu of a wedding.

Then you will never wake up and say, Oh god damn, what have I done?

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2015, 09:53 AM   #31
Moderator Emeritus
Khan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Pine Island, Florida
Posts: 6,868
Send a message via AIM to Khan
First marriage (1977): ~$500, 5 people in church, told parents several weeks later.

Second marriage(2014): ~$500, 3 people on boat.

If I had many thousands to spare, would have flown in some friends and chartered a boat.
__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
Khan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2015, 12:23 PM   #32
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
HFWR's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lawn chair in Texas
Posts: 12,962
The wedding was inexpensive, but the marriage was costly...
__________________
Have Funds, Will Retire

...not doing anything of true substance...
HFWR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2015, 01:44 PM   #33
Full time employment: Posting here.
MuirWannabe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 670
Twin daughters. One married this past November and then the other January. I paid. Gave them each $26K. They wanted a nice wedding. They could have chosen to keep the money, a portion of it, or spend even more out of their own pocket.

Both weddings served sit down meals at the receptions. One wedding served alcohol and one did not. Both daughters spent right at the full $26K. These were nice weddings/receptions but were nothing way over the top.

Do I think it would have been wiser to spend less and save some of the money? Yes. But I'm a guy. It's what they wanted and as their dad I was glad they were happy. And glad that DW was happy as well. It's honestly hard to relate as to why it matters so much to some young ladies. But it does. And that's okay.

Muir


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum
__________________
“Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.” John Muir
MuirWannabe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2015, 02:12 PM   #34
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
jollystomper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,358
I recall our wedding being around $3000 in 1983, which adjust for inflation would be around $7200 - though I suspect wedding costs have risen much faster than average inflation. We did not include liquor beyond the champagne toast, which helped keep the cost down. Because my family and I wanted additional guests, we paid for the extra headcount above what DW's parents were covering.

My oldest brother married off 2 of his daughters and easily spent over $100,000 total. These were very fancy weddings which extras such as shuttle service for the guests between hotel-church-reception locations. But, being a frugal investment banker , he could afford it. He always wanted to give doth daughters big weddings, and both daughters (doctor and lawyer) are VERY appreciative of having him as a dad. He retired after the last one got married, I suspect because that was the last major expense he wanted to cover from current earnings.
__________________
Current target FIRE date: Under negotiation, can happen anytime.
jollystomper is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2015, 02:43 PM   #35
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Alberta/Ontario/ Arizona
Posts: 3,136
Quote:
Originally Posted by MuirWannabe View Post

Do I think it would have been wiser to spend less and save some of the money? Yes. But I'm a guy. It's what they wanted and as their dad I was glad they were happy. And glad that DW was happy as well. It's honestly hard to relate as to why it matters so much to some young ladies. But it does. And that's okay.


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum
Yes, agree. Really seems stupid to me. If I was going to spend a lot on my wedding, I would take my best 20 friends to an exotic location and pay for it all.

My daughter's wedding is made a little more complicated by the fact that her mother and I are not married to each other anymore and if wasn't a happy parting of the ways shall I say.
__________________
Danmar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2015, 03:10 PM   #36
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
frayne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: 19th Hole
Posts: 2,529
Quote:
Originally Posted by MuirWannabe View Post
Twin daughters. One married this past November and then the other January. I paid. Gave them each $26K. They wanted a nice wedding. They could have chosen to keep the money, a portion of it, or spend even more out of their own pocket.

Both weddings served sit down meals at the receptions. One wedding served alcohol and one did not. Both daughters spent right at the full $26K. These were nice weddings/receptions but were nothing way over the top.

Do I think it would have been wiser to spend less and save some of the money? Yes. But I'm a guy. It's what they wanted and as their dad I was glad they were happy. And glad that DW was happy as well. It's honestly hard to relate as to why it matters so much to some young ladies. But it does. And that's okay.

Muir


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum
You're a good Dad.
__________________
A totally unblemished life is only for saints.
frayne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2015, 03:32 PM   #37
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Florence, AL/Helen, GA
Posts: 2,092
We went to a wedding last night in our local park. They rented two picnic pavilions. The bride's dress was $35 at Goodwill. The groom bought a new pair of jeans, and wore a golf shirt. And the bride's family cooked all the food--barbeque, of course.

And the total cost was $500 tops. And it was perfectly decent.

I've been to a number of weddings that were incredibly expensive--and I never enjoyed one of them.

It just seems like the 20 Somethings" getting married today have such illusions of grandeur. I would hate to think I had the student loans they have hanging over their heads and the pressure to build a retirement nest egg with net zero interest payments and a stock market at an all time high. And they expect to start their married lives in a large new home with two expensive new automobiles in the driveway. And they're lucky to have decent jobs in this poor job market.
__________________
Bamaman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2015, 03:39 PM   #38
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,422
I know a couple who paid for their son's wedding (the bride was raised in foster homes and had no relatives to help pay) by taking out a 2nd mortgage on their home. It was one of those big weddings with all the trimmings and the marriage lasted less than 2 years. The 2nd mortgage is still going strong!

I know many women grew up dreaming of their day as the bride, their chance to be the princess for a day. Not me at all. I would have liked a wedding like Khans or jpjr's son. I did it for my parents and DHs parents and I know they were happy with it.
__________________
Married, both 62. DH retired June, 2010. I have a pleasant little part time job.
Sue J is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2015, 04:06 PM   #39
Dryer sheet aficionado
Samz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: North of ATL
Posts: 41
Every time they re-run this or similar news releases I send to our DD.
More Money Spent on Wedding Ring & Ceremony Means Higher Chance of Divorce


http://www.releasewire.com/press-releases/more-money-spent-on-wedding-ring-ceremony-means-higher-chance-of-divorce-555359.htm


Not sure how much of this is sinking in...we expect her long term BF to officially ask any time now. They regularly have conversations about "when we are married". We like the soon to be fiancee too.

When I tell her how that with our savings, it looks like I can retire soon, she asks if we will have enough for nice vacations and if we have something set aside for her wedding. Yes and Yes is the answer. The idea of handing over $20 - $25K and letting her spend / save what she wants may be a good idea.
__________________
belief system does not acknowledge dryer sheets existence
Samz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2015, 04:17 PM   #40
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
frayne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: 19th Hole
Posts: 2,529
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bamaman View Post
It just seems like the 20 Somethings" getting married today have such illusions of grandeur.
I can add to that; 20 somethings of yesterday as well as today and in the future will have delusions of grandeur as well.

Marriage after all is nothing more than man made institution.
__________________

__________________
A totally unblemished life is only for saints.
frayne is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Divorced Parent Budgeting for "Kids" Weddings prototype FIRE and Money 42 02-09-2015 12:05 AM
Weddings Khan Other topics 43 12-06-2013 01:36 PM
High costs of weddings...and going into debt? maddythebeagle Young Dreamers 91 07-27-2008 09:49 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:00 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.