Welcome aboard-- you're the FOGODO!

[Nords]

After 20+ years in the military I occasionally think that I've seen it all.  I've read Catch-22 & M*A*S*H, been to a lot of joint commands, and generally snickered at all the silly things that military staffs do to perpetuate their bureaucracy.  From the martial perspective, fighting a war or two is a lot easier than spending all your time frantically justifying your existence widespread outbreaks of peace.

But to my cynical surprise I'm still learning that there's more to see.  I think the silliest situations arise from the senior officer's transition of being the big fish with their own pond to being just another little fish in a big pond. 

Take, for example, the one-star admiral or brigadier general.  On sea duty these flag officers would be handed their own multi-ship battlegroup, complete with a couple submarines & air wings, and would be told to go invade Pattaya preserve the peace & show the flag all over the Pacific.  On land they'd be given a division or two and expected to remain at the ready to lay waste to Ke'eamoku Street large areas of real estate.  These are the people who respond when the JCS gets a 911 call, first on the scene, the real-time decision-makers.

That is, until they rotate to joint staff duty to start their personal "run for the top" broaden their exposure to policy-making.  On a four-star staff HQ like PACOM, one-stars aren't even deemed capable of supervising their own directorates like "Plans" or "Operations" or "Logistics" or "Intelligence".  They won't even be the deputies of those directorates.  If they're lucky they'll be "assisting" the deputies or "supervising" one of the larger departments within the directorates.  They've gone from running entire homeports & military bases to barely rating a reserved parking spot (doled out by seniority & available space) and plowing through literally thousands of PowerPoint slides.  Suddenly they're "just another one-star" amid a crowd of "more senior" officers.  Darwinism at its finest.  No wonder they're so grumpy.

But PACOM one-stars are infused with a new reason to live.  Apparently, way back in the mists of history, the PACOM admiral and a few lower layers in the chain of command were unavailable when a VIP arrived.  Unfortunately, without properly experienced supervision on the scene, the VIP was not correctly greeted by a knowledgeable officer of flag rank.  Protocol was seriously violated by this heinous offense, careers were abruptly terminated, and many heads rolled.  Luckily the military always takes steps to prevent a recurrence of these disasters, and PACOM responded with its brightest and most creative minds bringing forth an innovative product.

Yes, (ta-daaaa!) the FOGODO-- the Flag Officer/General Officer Duty Officer.  It's actually a one-star watchbill to bring a smile to the faces of every JO who's ever suffered watchbill shiftwork ensure that VIPs are properly greeted at the airport and smoothly escorted to their first scheduled evolution.  They're on the job 24/7, no matter how many PowerPoint slides might be created without them.  Even today, with a war raging at liberty's darkest hour, my spouse can attest that the clarion call still rings forth from the PACOM front office:  "G$#@%^* it, where the #$%^ is the FOGODO?!?"

Our tax dollars at work, folks.  At least we can all sleep soundly tonight knowing that the FOGODO stands at the ready...

Spouse signed up for 29 days of PACOM duty and today is the half-way point.  I think the novelty of the gig has worn thin since she's overheard a couple one-stars bitching about the FOGODO watchbill.  However she's been "invited" to interview for a PACOM-related billet that could lead to many more 29-day gigs or even a return to w-w-work.  (Sorry, that word still chokes me up.)  She feels motivated to take the job because we've heard rumblings that 25,000 Navy Reservists (out of ~70,000) are going to be mobilized on 1 October (when new fiscal-year funding is available) to backfill Army billets in Iraq & Afghanistan. 

We are living in interesting times...

 

[haha]

...we've heard rumblings that 25,000 Navy Reservists (out of ~70,000) are going to be mobilized on 1 October (when new fiscal-year funding is available) to backfill Army billets in Iraq & Afghanistan. 

Nords, are you saying that navy personnel with no infantry training are going to be filling infantry slots? Or are these all support slots?

Ha

 

[samclem]

Yep. That's why almost everybody loves their comand time and few have fond memories of their staff tours.

Getting tagged as the "stuckee" for a DV visit was something I always dreaded. A million chances to fail spectacularly, and very little upside potential. "Sure, you did the visit for Adm Smaltz--how hard could that be?" Well, let the bags get lost or the sedan not be ready and you'll know what pain is.

At the unit level, I thought the scrubbing and prepping we did for DVs was crazy. I vowed that if I ever got some serious rank I'd travel with very little advance warning, and I would never remark about anything except things that impacted operations. Yes, the protocol folks and subordinate commanders would hate this, but all the E-3s who didn't have to scrub floors and all the staff officers who didn't have to drag their overflowing inboxes and desk junk out to their car for the day would get a break.

 

[Nords]

Nords, are you saying that navy personnel with no infantry training are going to be filling infantry slots? Or are these all support slots?

It's already happened to about 12,000 Navy Reservists.  Most of it has been support in logistics, medical, intel, and staffs (watchbills & computer stuff) in the Middle East.  They're also filling a lot of "admin liaison" and "training support" jobs at Army bases so that more infantry can deploy.  Most of the Navy's Supply Corps, Medical, and SeaBee Reservists are either on deployment, just demobilizing, or in the process of mobilizing.  A 1 Oct mobilization would pretty much suck up everyone else.

However large numbers of enlisted are pulling perimeter security duty, hopefull aided by Marines or real Army infantry.  

Forget insurgents, if I was a corporal I'd be more afraid of a petty officer with a magazine in their pistol.  To be fair, Cut-Throat, I'd be even more afraid of a junior officer handling loaded ordnance.

You know it's getting tight when they mobilize a guy who's nearly 58 years old, overweight, with high blood pressure & hand-tremor problems, and a critical civil-service employee on a submarine staff.  But the ol' warhorse wouldn't turn down the orders-- he pulled corpsman duty with his Marine brothers in Vietnam to the tune of two Purple Hearts.  He'll probably demobilize the day he retires at age 60.

 

[Bimmerbill]

We have had plenty of 58+ year olds mobillize to Iraq and Afganistan from my state's Army National Guard.  They get sent home when they reach age 60, and retired. 

Being fat and out of shape won't stop you from going either.

My state is all field artillery (well 90%), so all the artillery guys were sent to a short 2-3 week class and turned into MP's (they couldn't call them MPs, so they called them FPs- force protectors). 

Most of these guys were upset at being turned into MP/infrantry types, some having spent 30+ years training as artillerymen. 

We tried to get them official MP qualifications (MOS), but even after doing MP duty for 1 year in combat, the Army would'nt allow it.  In fact, most don't qualify due to legal issues or test scores.

It is a very strange time, and the Army is stressed.

 

[astromeria]

we've heard rumblings that 25,000 Navy Reservists (out of ~70,000) are going to be mobilized on 1 October (when new fiscal-year funding is available) to backfill Army billets in Iraq & Afghanistan.

So, a month before the election, Bush brings the Army home...and replaces them with the Navy? The New Navy, dressed in desert camouflage. I hope they get their oasis legs quickly...58 year olds

 

[Jane_Doe]

Nords-

Sorry to hear your wife will have to choose to w**k in order to avoid being stationed overseas. Tough break - it always seems when we have things all figured out, someone changes the rules of the game.

Hope things turn out ok.

Jane

P.S. You know, you could probably avoid her being sent overseas if she were expecting.

(Sorry, the devil made me do it!)

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

...a guy who's nearly 58 years old, overweight, with high blood pressure & hand-tremor problems...

I BEG your pardon??

edit:
Actually, this situation [sending National Guard and Navy into Iraq] is very distressing. Imagine what would happen if the bad guys figured that we were stretched too thin in Iraq and took advantage of our weakness.

Maybe they already have (Iran). Putin undoubtedly has publicized it already, if they couldn't figure it out for themselves. In which case, shouldn't the American people be appraised of the situation? Where are the h*ll are the press and the Democrats?

 

[lets-retire]

The Navy has sent many of their people to landlocked desert locations. I thought it was wierd the first time I saw it, but figured oh, well. This was before Iraq. They also started to send their peopel to base defense schools (read infantry) run by the AF a while back.

 

[samclem]

Some backgroud that may be of interest:

During the Vietnam War, LBJ did everything possible to avoid calling up the Gaurd/Reserve en masse. While Reservists did serve, there was no presidential call up, because LBJ feared the political backlash (since they are all from one town, when you send a Gaurd/Reserve unit to war for an extended time, it tends to galvanize that community for better or worse). After the war, the US Army in particular wanted to make sure any large scale, long-term military committment by the US could not be done "on the cheap" again, but would instead require a national discussion and involvement of the public. So, they structured Army so that almost all of the essential support services were performed by the Gaurd/Reserve. The door kickers/trigger pullers are predominantly in the active duty side, but the vast majority of the transportation units, medical units, civil affairs, units, etc are in the Gaurd/Reserve. The Air Force didn't do as much of this, though the preponderance of airlift capabilty is in the Gaurd/reserve. I don't know about the USN, though know there's a lot of Intel capabilty in the Reserve, I'd suspect most of the medical stuff is there, too

Bottom line: Due to political lessons of the past, the military forces are now structured so that a long war, unless it is really small, is going to require involvement of the "citizen soldiers."

Also: A lot of USAF folks are doing traditional Army functions in combat zones now: Convoy duty, base security, etc.

 

[Nords]

Sorry to hear your wife will have to choose to w**k in order to avoid being stationed overseas. Tough break - it always seems when we have things all figured out, someone changes the rules of the game.
Hope things turn out ok.

Thanks, although actually the picture is less bleak for her than it seems. She doesn't necessarily have to choose work, but she does have to start making choices. If the job choices don't pan out then she has the option of transferring to the Inactive Ready Reserve later this summer along with filing for retirement. That should avoid all the overseas stuff. We think.

However she wrestles with retirement like Joe Paterno struggles with "just one more football season", Lance Armstrong with "just one more Tour", and Mike Wallace with "just one more story". Not to mention that accepting any of those jobs could cancel her family summer vacation. ("Have a nice time on the new job, honey, we cooked extra meals for you and put them in the freezer. We'll be back in a couple weeks!!") She has to work through the ER process, though, and this is certainly raising the voltage on the circuitry.

P.S. You know, you could probably avoid her being sent overseas if she were expecting.
(Sorry, the devil made me do it!)

Considering that I'm no longer fertile, that would possibly create more problems than it solved!

Imagine what would happen if the bad guys figured that we were stretched too thin in Iraq and took advantage of our weakness. 
Maybe they already have (Iran).  Putin undoubtedly has publicized it already, if they couldn't figure it out for themselves.  In which case, shouldn't the American people be appraised of the situation?  Where are the h*ll are the press and the Democrats? 

Later this month near Guam, PACFLT & PACAF are conducting the nation's largest seaborne exercise since the Vietnam War. They're using three aircraft carriers, the Marines from an amphibious group, and wings of refueling/command aircraft. PACOM, ADM Fallon, explicitly invited the PRC to send their top naval officers to observe the exercise. The subtext of the invitation is "If you're getting any bright ideas about Taiwan while we're busy with Iraq, come watch how we'll still be able to kick your ass despite having one foot tied behind our back." I'm sure we'll be sending a few DVDs of the exercise to Iran and North Korea, too...

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

Nords,

A friend has proposed that we offer to give Taiwan to the PRC if they 'take care' of North Korea for us. I might give them South Korea, too, who are becoming anti-American. Why not give them both what they want?

Ed

 

[Nords]

Why not give them both what they want?

I think the PRC is just beginning to realize how much trouble they're in with a lesson that they could have learned from Star Trek.

Capitalism: Resistance is futile-- you will be assimilated.

Between Google & Yahoo! they don't stand a chance...

 

[Billy]

You forgot Walmart...

Billy
RetireEarlyLifestyle.com

 

[lets-retire]

Some backgroud that may be of interest:

During the Vietnam War, LBJ did everything possible to avoid calling up the Gaurd/Reserve en masse.  While Reservists did serve, there was no presidential call up, because LBJ feared the political backlash (since they are all from one town, when you send a Gaurd/Reserve unit to war for an extended time, it tends to galvanize that community for better or worse).  After the war, the US Army in particular wanted to make sure any large scale, long-term military committment by the US could not be done "on the cheap" again, but would instead require a national discussion and involvement of the public. So, they structured Army so that almost all of the essential support services were performed by the Gaurd/Reserve.  The door kickers/trigger pullers are predominantly in the active duty side, but the vast majority of the transportation units, medical units, civil affairs, units, etc are in the Gaurd/Reserve.  The Air Force didn't do as much of this, though the preponderance of airlift capabilty is in the Gaurd/reserve.  I don't know about the USN, though  know there's a lot of Intel capabilty in the Reserve, I'd suspect most of the medical stuff is there, too   

Bottom line:  Due to political lessons of the past, the military forces are now structured so that a long war, unless it is really small, is going to require involvement of the "citizen soldiers."

Also:  A lot of USAF folks are doing traditional Army functions in combat zones now:  Convoy duty, base security, etc. 

A little more history. The lessons might have been learned during Vietnam, but they did not come to be until after the first GUlf War, which had the involvment of many reservists. After the restructuring done during Bush I, the reserves and guard became an integral part of the active force, because reserve units are cheaper than active duty. The USAF has many of the first response units as active duty, only because it takes longer for the reserve/guard units to mobilze. One base I was at had acitve units deploy and the reserve backfill. When in the reserves I was assigned to a deploying unit. From warning order to ready to go took at least two days, where the active side we were ready to go in a matter of hours. Most of the time was getting people to the base. The USAF has done base security since Vietnam. They go up to 5 km outside the wire anything further than that is handled by the Army. Convoys have also been handled by the AF for a long time, at least since they placed nuclear missles in the AF arsenal. Convoys in Kosovo were protected by AF security forces people a lot of the time.

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

How about that! I was not aware of the change in the role of the reserves, etc.

The military sure has changed since I was in.

I saw a show on cable today (!) about how the various branches integrated their battlefield activities after 9/11. Much technology was fast-tracked. It doesn't change the executive mistake of underestimating the manpower needs of the occupation, but, Holy Cow! they are a lot more effective than ever before! This is stuff that Tom Clancy only dreamed about.

Inter-service rivalry also seems to have been dispensed with.

There is more than one revolutionary change here, gentlemen.

 

[Nords]

Inter-service rivalry also seems to have been dispensed with.

At least in public.

Some things will never change...

 

[Nords]

Well, Ed, I mentioned your inter-service rivalry coment to spouse and she said "That'll never last." Unfortunately even she was disappointed by how quickly the détente collapsed.

Spouse's project this week has been planning the PACOM itinerary for a SECDEF distinguished visitor. Keep in mind that this guy and his staff are coming across like Jimmy Buffett-- cool, casual, and very enjoyable to be around. The DV has said that he doesn't want PowerPoint slides, which has locked up at least a dozen of PACOM's keenest military minds who had already produced five or six dozen of them for the DV's briefings. The biggest question from the DV's staff has been their attempt to understand the dress code for "aloha attire". The DV doesn't even golf, which has aroused more PACOM suspicion that he's really a commie pinko sympathizer attempting to sabotage Rumsfeld.

So you would think that this visit would be going just duckily, but you would be wrong. As Pogo says, "We have met the enemy and he is us." At 10 AM yesterday, about six hours before the DV plane landed, her phone erupted with irate PACOM senior officers letting her know that (a) they were extremely busy with worldwide real-time events and couldn't possibly be expected to attend the various meetings with this DV, (b) whaddya mean no PowerPoint briefs, and (3) didn't she know that a TaepoDong2 missile was about to be launched at the DV and what was she going to do about it?

She patiently showed these fellow leaders the itinerary e-mails she'd sent them, the responses they'd sent back, and the appointments they'd accepted on their Outlook calendars. Then she showed them the DV's staff request for no PowerPoint briefs and as a result, the PACOM brief has been slashed to "only" 28 PowerPoint slides. She still hasn't solved the third problem but I've been keeping an eye on Google News and I have her phone number in case there's a launch. Whoops, I'll be right back.

Phew, OK, I didn't miss anything. Now, this morning's crisis: a three-star's executive assistant informed spouse that the EA's flag officer desired a seat at today's lunch in the flag mess, followed by attendance at the afternoon's roundtable discussion. Unfortunately this particular three-star is not directly attached to PACOM, creating a situation best described as a "PACOM major hissy fit because an 'outside' 3-star is crashing the PACOM party". (I won't even mention the general's service because Jarhead would have to kill himself to wash away the shame.) The crisis was resolved at the last minute when the PACOM Deputy (also a three-star flag officer) was added to the lunch & RT to offset the potential loss in the balance of power. The crisis almost boiled over again when it was realized that solution would require two more seats in the flag mess.

The only reason that the crisis was resolved so successfully is because spouse had the foresight (cynicism?) to order two extra lunches last week from the flag mess staff. She had to pay for them out of her own money but she won her bet and she gets her stake back. She didn't get to attend the lunch but we can all sleep soundly tonight knowing that her initiative averted a major regional military crisis.

I feel sorry for the next guy planning a DV itinerary-- someone's going to make him buy FOUR extra lunches. By next year it'll be up to eight of them.

The good news is that she's just about had it with this duty and is really looking forward to resuming her ER lifestyle. Only five workdays left!

Just think of all the fun we've missed, Gumby.

Is this what the rest of you guys have to put up with in the corporate world?

 

[unclemick]

Hmmm

If I understand correctly - the little niece's hubby - on his 3rd tour of beautiful Iraq - is required to produce regular Powerpoint briefings. Since he is in a branch of service WE don't mention in a pro Navy family - I didn't ask about golf.

heh heh heh heh heh

 

[yelnad]

However she wrestles with retirement like Joe Paterno struggles with "just one more football season."

Haha. JoePa doesn't even think about retiring. It's the rest of Happy Valley who debates it.

 

[Gumby]

..

 

[Nords]

Spouse & I call that the "Stinky" phenomenon. People who earned four-letter nicknames with their liberty behavior are now running the asylum. Did you see that the Commandant of Midshipmen is class of '80? What if his conduct record was splashed across the upper fold of the Washington Post?

You should write an extremely detailed & explicit tell-all book about your roomates. It doesn't matter who publishes it because you'll make a handsome profit from selling the only two copies in existence...