Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
What changes did you make when a parent died?
Old 04-17-2018, 10:08 AM   #1
Recycles dryer sheets
lem1955's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 153
Send a message via Yahoo to lem1955
What changes did you make when a parent died?

My mother died in January. She was overtly very healthy up until a couple of months before though she had undiagnosed fourth stage cancer. When they finally got the diagnosis right, she died 3 weeks later. Now that I am beginning to recover from initial shock and grief I'm thinking a lot about what changes I should make to Advance Directive, Trust, ownership docs, etc. I'm curious about the legal, emotional, goal changes others have made after a first and then second parent has died. Please share.
__________________

__________________
Retired 12/16/2015 at 60.
lem1955 is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 04-17-2018, 10:46 AM   #2
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,061
I am so sorry for your loss.
I lost my second parent in 2015, and did nothing for about a year, on the advice from the good people here. I allowed time for grieving and spent time reflecting on our financial picture (and our health goals!)
Afterwards, spouse and I updated our wills, trusts, adv. directive and healthcare POA. We made sure all of our accounts were titled correctly for beneficiary and/or TOD.
It took two long years for parents estate to be settled, as their trust was not done correctly and we had to go through probate. It was a learning experience and I definitely met with a good estate attorney several times to make sure everything we had or did, was done right. Do not want my kids to go through that experience.
__________________

__________________
Give me a fish, I will eat for a day. Teach me to fish, I will eat for a lifetime.
pacergal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2018, 11:04 AM   #3
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
easysurfer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,921
Lem, sorry to hear about your mom.

I was pretty much a workaholic before death of first parent. Made me reconsider important things in life. There always will be a workaholic (well, retire hard not work hard ) part in me (which isn't all bad). But that was the first family loss (besides family pet). Several years later, lost my other parent. Once again, made me reconsider how I look at things as not I was officially orphaned with no living parent.

What I do to keep their memories alive is think about what really good traits that they had and try to live in that way. My father had sense of adventure and a bit of a sarcastic sense of humor. My mom (like most moms, I'm sure) was the kindest person I ever knew. So, when possible I try to be kind towards others.

Losing any loved one, one never really gets over, but though cliche, time does help.
__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
easysurfer is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2018, 11:08 AM   #4
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
MRG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 8,323
Quote:
Originally Posted by pacergal View Post

Snip
Afterwards, spouse and I updated our wills, trusts, adv. directive and healthcare POA. We made sure all of our accounts were titled correctly for beneficiary and/or TOD.
Very sorry for your loss. DW's parents went similar. He was fine and 90 days later he passed from cancer. She was fine, had an earlier scare from melanoma. Ninety days later she had passed. Melanoma came back with a vengeance.

Our actions were the same as Pacergal posted. I've also been encouraging DW to get yearly screening and be more careful about sun exposure.
MRG is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2018, 11:11 AM   #5
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Western NC
Posts: 1,668
Quote:
Originally Posted by lem1955 View Post
My mother died in January. She was overtly very healthy up until a couple of months before though she had undiagnosed fourth stage cancer. When they finally got the diagnosis right, she died 3 weeks later. Now that I am beginning to recover from initial shock and grief I'm thinking a lot about what changes I should make to Advance Directive, Trust, ownership docs, etc. I'm curious about the legal, emotional, goal changes others have made after a first and then second parent has died. Please share.
Advanced directive = the model health care POA for your particular state.

NOT a "living will" (language is usually too vague)

Please be as specific as possible, so your health care agent doesn't have to guess.
ncbill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2018, 11:20 AM   #6
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,201
Even though my mom passed away in 1995, it wasn't until 2008 when my brother, my dad, and I revamped my dad's will and added other estate documents such as POA, IAMT (Irrevocable Asset Management Trust), and HCP (health care proxy). Furthermore, doing that caused me to create my own will and similar estate documents.
__________________

__________________
Retired in late 2008 at age 45. Cashed in company stock, bought a lot of shares in a big bond fund and am living nicely off its dividends. IRA, SS, and a pension await me at age 60 and later. No kids, no debts.

"I want my money working for me instead of me working for my money!"
scrabbler1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
death of parent, emotional life, legal documents


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Did you file taxes for parent for year they passed in? retired2015b2d Other topics 24 01-21-2017 09:53 PM
Did you make/change plans for grandchildren? (& update on No House Sale for You!) spncity Life after FIRE 25 11-08-2016 07:22 PM
How Did You Get There and When Did You Start cscott711 FIRE and Money 51 01-05-2012 10:53 AM
Your Parent Just Died? Your Life May Get Better REWahoo Other topics 36 08-18-2008 02:21 PM
Did you retire or Did you quit GTM Life after FIRE 19 03-09-2006 02:06 PM

» Quick Links

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:58 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
×