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Old 07-24-2014, 07:52 PM   #21
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What an interesting, cathartic thread. Thanks to everyone for their courageous postings.

I have been gaining and losing the same 15 pounds all my adult life.

I have failed so far to find a career that fulfills me. My work as a software engineer is intellectually challenging but the work feels completely meaningless to me. I failed to stand up to my parents and follow my passions when I was young, and now am looking to early retirement to fulfill some long-postponed dreams of being an artist and writer.

I've failed to maintain any romantic relationship for longer than two years, let alone get married. The older I get, the more I prefer solitude so the less regret I feel about that. Maybe early retirement will give me the opportunity to have the solitude I crave along with companionship with a significant other on weekends and after work.
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Old 07-24-2014, 08:01 PM   #22
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I failed at retirement. I retired 2-1/2 years ago after 27 years with Megacorp. Retirement lasted the weekend. Went to work for another company the following Monday. Still there. Still thinking about retiring . . . again.


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Old 07-24-2014, 08:09 PM   #23
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Great thread!

For many things in life, if you are not failing sometimes, you are not stretching yourself enough. Career, sports, hobbies, etc.

Other than those, which are more works in progress, I would say my relationship with my mother and two siblings has been just above failure level for many years. We are going through the motions with each other and I don't think I have the motivation to put in the work to try to make it better.
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Old 07-24-2014, 09:07 PM   #24
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When my peers were buying up one word domain names in the nineties, I thought they were wasting their money. I just didn't see a future in it. I also thought Youtube would go the way of Napster, due to copyright infringement issues.

My visionary skills are right up there with Harry "Who wants to hear actors talk?" Warner.

Other than that, it would take me too long to list everything else.
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Old 07-24-2014, 10:01 PM   #25
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I forgot about a big one: Back in Connecticut in the 1970s, a friend and I rented a small industrial building to rebuild and sell older model mass emission spectrometers to scrap dealers (he was an EE, I an ME). We only sold a few, it was a thought.

The real deal was the building had an artisan well in it and the area had just gone through a drought and people were buying water in gallon jugs at supermarkets. We had all this great, free water and thought about bottling it and selling it instead of spectrometers. We both said, "Nah, selling water is only good if there is a shortage...who would buy bottled water when they have city water or their own wells?" So the idea died....and so did our future of making Megs Bucks!
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Old 07-25-2014, 05:52 AM   #26
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I love the honesty in this thread. I failed to keep up friendships - my life was always moving countries and moving cities and I dealt with that by cutting ties and starting fresh. I wish I'd kept more up. There are some people I truly miss - and I'd count having a better relationship with my sister in that. But our lives just went in very different directions.

Currently I seem to be failing to run a small retirement business very well, but that's because I'm succeeding in enjoying the retirement part !


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Old 07-25-2014, 06:03 AM   #27
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I am a complete failure at golf. I haven't played in years, but I think my last round was somewhere between 110-130.
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Old 07-25-2014, 06:19 AM   #28
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I'll just list a few of many - I fail at something fairl regularly

- Failed at making my junior high and high school baseball and basketball teams.

- Failed at being a starter on my high school JV and college football teams.

- Failed at getting into my first choice of college.

- Failed at keeping one of mine kids from going down a path that landed him over a year in prison.

- Failed early in my working career in understanding finances, having a credit card cancelled in a public and embarrassing manner, relied of a "hot stock" tip, and buying life insurance when I didn't need it.

- Failed at forgiving 2 people who treated me (in my view) badly but later reached out to me but whom I ignored. Both died before the relationship was reconciled.

- Failing to notice in high school and college when women wanted to be more than friends with me (of course DW doesn't see this as a failure ).

The main thing I have learned is to try to learn from my failures and not repeat them.
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Old 07-25-2014, 07:36 AM   #29
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I'm guilty of several things already mentioned, plus I failed at songwriting. I played guitar for many years, quite well actually, but I lack even the slightest trace of creativity. I couldn't think up a nice melody, or interesting lyrics, if my life depended on it, even though I very much wish I could. Oh, and so far I've failed to hit a homerun in 8 seasons of rec baseball. Not even in batting practice. Even using an aluminum bat, I'm ashamed to admit.

I seem to be doing quite OK in most other things I'm really passionate about, like making my marriage work, raising the kids, or providing for the family, so it's all good.

Quote:
Originally Posted by txtig View Post
I failed at retirement. I retired 2-1/2 years ago after 27 years with Megacorp. Retirement lasted the weekend. Went to work for another company the following Monday.
Why, if I may ask? Cause if you decided to continue working, rather than being forced to, I wouldn't consider that a failure.
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Old 07-25-2014, 08:46 AM   #30
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Failed to get my college degree. Took and passed almost all the courses for my major but just never got around to all those electives. Not sure a degree would have changed my life much but it would nice to be able to say, "I graduated from ..." when those conversations come up. Mainly a matter of personal pride.

The jury is still out on my performance as a father but, at this point, I'm worried. We shall see.
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Old 07-25-2014, 08:59 AM   #31
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I've failed to develop any creative skills: music, writing, drawing, etc. I appreciate the musicians in my life, but couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. Also, I wish I had a better eye for the art of photography--I just take snapshots.
I've also failed at maintaining weight loss, keeping up with exercise programs, and not smoking. Big sigh.
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Old 07-25-2014, 09:17 AM   #32
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I failed to get my engineering masters. Started on it in my late 30's... met DH and missed a 6 week block because my wedding/honeymoon were in the middle of it. Continued on, but then got preggers - missed another 6 week block because I didn't want to go into labor while in class. I doggedly kept at it - working during the day - going straight to grad school after work. Breast pump in tow. Yep - fun times pumping in a college restroom so I don't explode during the 3 hour class.

I managed to compete all the course work except one math class. Moved back to San Diego because my mom had terminal cancer and my son was the only grandchild. Signed up as non-matriculating student for a math course that would fill the requirement - dropped it 1 week in because my mom went into ICU and I needed to sit vigil. (She subsequently died). Never picked up the masters program. Never took the math class, never wrote the thesis. I can't even claim I have a masters "abt" (all but thesis.)

Now that I'm retired I really don't care. I'm signed up for an Italian course... doesn't apply at all to the masters in software engineering.

I've utterly failed to be the calm/child-whisperer type mom like some of my friends. My kids regularly annoy me and I react in a very grumpy way. So far they still love me but the teen and tween years seem to be pushing my patience.
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Old 07-25-2014, 09:40 AM   #33
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Also love the honesty and courage in responses in this thread.

In my case, while I've had a few failures in life, I've only really had one major failure in something I tried desperately hard to achieve. And that was in trying everything I could to get an alcoholic immediate family member to stop drinking and seek recovery. Learned the hard way that you can't - and you end up literally driving yourself crazy in trying.
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Old 07-25-2014, 10:18 AM   #34
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I failed to get my engineering masters.
Me, too. Worked during the days, and went to school at night. Then, juggling family (child, DW), work, finance became too much of stress. Also, I reached a conclusion that the degree will not help my career in any significant way, and that I was learning very little anyway. It's a failure that bothers me time to time b/c I have motto of always finishing what I started, do what I say, never giving up, ....
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Old 07-25-2014, 10:31 AM   #35
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I failed to get my engineering masters.
+2 , got tired of the study grind and being a TA after one semester, so dropped out to make some money. Also, I failed at learning a musical instrument. I suffer from the need for instant gratification and lacked the patience to stick with it.
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Old 07-25-2014, 12:51 PM   #36
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I am a complete failure at golf. I haven't played in years, but I think my last round was somewhere between 110-130.
+1
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Old 07-25-2014, 01:04 PM   #37
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I am a complete failure at golf. I haven't played in years, but I think my last round was somewhere between 110-130.
My failure is in progress ... it will end with my breaking all my clubs, canceling golf channel from dish, etc.. Bocce ball here I come.

As I read these threads, I keep remembering more failures. Thanks for the reminders, folks ... .
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Old 07-25-2014, 01:26 PM   #38
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In my case, while I've had a few failures in life, I've only really had one major failure in something I tried desperately hard to achieve. And that was in trying everything I could to get an alcoholic immediate family member to stop drinking and seek recovery. Learned the hard way that you can't - and you end up literally driving yourself crazy in trying.
You didn't fail! A tough lesson, but no failure on your part. A failure in this type of case would be to still trying to "fix/help" this sick family member. My DF passed at 96, he was still trying to fix one drug addicted grandchild. DF never "got it".

My failures, probably too many to list. The biggest my p*ss poor communication skills.

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Old 07-25-2014, 02:26 PM   #39
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Thought of another one - failed in my attempts to learn Italian. Hoping to remedy this before next summer. Signed up for Italian 101 at the jr college starting in a few weeks. If that goes well I'll do Italian 102 in the spring and will have the equivalent of 4 years of high school Italian.
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Old 07-25-2014, 02:35 PM   #40
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