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Old 09-09-2015, 02:21 PM   #61
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Originally Posted by ivinsfan View Post
It sounds like you have a cool family...nice open communication is the key to making things like this work.Lack of communication and hidden agendas mean a lot of families can't make this work,I do agree it's the ideal scenario.
Open communication does make things easier...
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Old 09-09-2015, 02:27 PM   #62
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Nothing. You value family get togethers (way) more than he does for reasons unknown. You shared your POV with him once. It is what it is...
I wouldn't say I value it more or less than him. I would say I'd be more open in communicating with involved family members in how I go about changing things.
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Old 09-09-2015, 04:00 PM   #63
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Sounds like a lovely anniversary for your parents. I am guessing you didn't have to run any of the planning past siblings?
No, I was an only child.
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Old 09-09-2015, 04:16 PM   #64
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No, I was an only child.
That would make scheduling a LOT easier.
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Old 09-09-2015, 04:41 PM   #65
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That would make scheduling a LOT easier.
Yes! Also several other advantages.
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Old 09-09-2015, 06:42 PM   #66
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No. Remember-only addressed the issue once with brother. Trying to change his mind would be a waste of both our times.



I'm simply after info on the exact question I asked: What would you do?
I would go the fiftieth anniversary and be a gentleman. The next day when I left I would let brother know that I will be happy to meet up and celebrate 55th with all.

I would excuse myself from every other invitation, and go on with life, which is too short already.

I think this means much more to you. Holding on to it will make it hurt more. So you have to let go of it.
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Old 09-09-2015, 08:01 PM   #67
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I would go the fiftieth anniversary and be a gentleman. The next day when I left I would let brother know that I will be happy to meet up and celebrate 55th with all.

I would excuse myself from every other invitation, and go on with life, which is too short already.

I think this means much more to you. Holding on to it will make it hurt more. So you have to let go of it.
I'm actually more past it than not. Labor Day was one of the annual weekends-so that dredged it up.

Made me wonder how others would react-especially since I was guilted at first fairly heavily by the parents about needing to be flexible. Until I pointed out just how flexible I've usually been.

Appears how I'm handling is well within the norm. I am planning to continue to be courteous. If something that is mutually convenient comes up I'll entertain the idea of a get together. I'll also continue my annual get together with the parents. He can attend or not. No more rearranging commitments to make things happen. Given my calendar as I start a drug and mental health recovery community center and his increased need for convenience get togethers are unlikely for the foreseeable future!
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