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Old 10-29-2008, 12:42 PM   #61
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I am a newcomer here, so do not know of the evolution of this forum. And this being the only forum I frequent, I do not know how it compares to others.

I have seen good people I'd like to exchange banters with.

I have learned a thing or two about finance and ER that I did not run across elsewhere.

But I have also seen naive newbies being browbeaten by oldtimers.

I have seen dissenters being ganged up on by the majority.

I have seen people who needed a shoulder to cry on being derided.

I have seen cussed words used.

But I also have seen newcomers making belligerent, if not rude, comments towards old timers.

I have seen people who want to steer any thread, or topic towards their pet political subject. It is obvious they come here spoiling for a fight.

All this without venturing into the SoapBox.

GOOD GRIEF!

But I usually tolerate a few outbursts, or aberrations. I always give someone at least 3 chances. I have yet to ignore anyone, but I just gloss over some posts. I do not ignore the Soapbox, but I do not read any thread. Just the title tells me all what it is about. What else but rude comments towards every and any candidates? What's in there for me to learn?

Relax, people. If you want to convert someone, or to convince them of something, telling them in a demeaning or hostile manner will not achieve what you want. It did not even work for me with my children. And once you are convinced that they are so incorrigible, put them on your ignore list, and move on. Do not let them raise your blood pressure!

I think people tend to stick to their guns, while walking away may be a better solution. Why argue with fools?
It takes me a long time to discover this, and it helps me tremendously.

Just walk away from the fools. I hope I will not have to walk away from this forum.

PS. About being able to predict what's in a thread just by looking at the title, there's an analogy in Information Theory. A pure sine wave is not noise, but also has no signal content. Knowing the phase and amplitude of the sine wave, you can predict its future history to infinity. No noise, but no info here either!
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Old 10-29-2008, 01:00 PM   #62
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I keep Soap Box on ignore. If it goes away, I would not care, however, the post that are there now would creep back into the main board, and I would care. So it you can find a way to keep politics out of the main boards, and get rid of the Soap Box, go right ahead.
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Old 10-29-2008, 01:12 PM   #63
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This is the only forum I have ever joined, but certainly not the only one I've ever followed. And while I am a comparative newbie compared to some of you fine folks, I get exactly what I am looking for out of this experience. I came here looking for validation of my decision to retire early...for assurances that everything was going to be all right even when it felt like maybe it wasn't...for assistance in some financial decisions...and to hang out with others who had already taken the plunge or who planned to do so.

Little did I expect when I posted my first thoughts here that I would learn about bacon and great recipes and all kinds of great lifestyle ideas from CFB...or about military life from the retired service folks like Nords...or about raising chickens or living full time in a RV...or about being gay...or about facing cancer or Alzheimer's, the importance of colonoscopies, the heartbreak of losing a pet, a parent or a spouse...well, I could go on and on, but my point is this:

When I'm looking to interact -- or even just to lurk -- for awhile with a group of folks who mostly seem to be interesting, educated, humorous and interested in sharing, I come here. For the most point, I avoid the drama -- I've never visited the Soapbox and ignore (but don't put on the ignore list) some of the, shall I say, more fringe opinions. I try to treat you as I would if you were a guest in my own home, and hope you will do the same to me. And, yes, while it does seem that the tone of the forum has changed in the recent past, I attribute it to the freefall of the market -- it was, after all, a lot more fun when everything seemed to be going up all the time. Bad times bring out the best and the worst of some folks.

But I still enjoy being here...
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Old 10-29-2008, 02:13 PM   #64
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Nords, I think your motives were undoubtedly good. Many of your points are quite valid, but the way in which you presented them left me feeling stunned.
I didn't just get up on the wrong side of the rack one morning and start throwing hand grenades. There's many months of private moderator discussions, PMs, & e-mails behind this public laundry. It wasn't just between Andy & me, either. We had many of these discussions on the moderator's board when I was part of that team. Martha, REWahoo!, Dory, Laurence, BMJ, the Kaderlis, Brewer, & CFB have all been part of subsequent discussion. Perhaps they feel less strongly about the issues than I do-- well, except maybe for CFB-- but we all feel that the board is (or has been) an important part of our lives.

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I did not know this board in "the old days", but I LOVE THIS BOARD.
Soapbox aside, I do too. It's management, not moderation, who I have issues with.

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Like Sarah, I do not feel overburdened with my mod duties. I put time in when I have it, and don't when I don't.
Read through my final posts on the moderator's board and think about where you'll be in a few years...
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Old 10-29-2008, 03:03 PM   #65
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For me the SoapBox is a necessary evil. It's presence keeps the vitriolic comments out of the other threads and forums, that is a good thing. The advent of the Ignore Forum made it complete. For me it does not exist, and the constant political bards, for the most part, are gone from the other posts.
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Old 10-29-2008, 05:31 PM   #66
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I just wanted to say that I am reading this thread. I just haven't felt like addressing the matter much because I find it to be depressing and it makes me angry! But another mod said I should post here what I posted "behind the scenes", so here goes:

Nords, I think your motives were undoubtedly good. Many of your points are quite valid, but the way in which you presented them left me feeling stunned.

I did not know this board in "the old days", but I LOVE THIS BOARD. OK, every good thing can use improvement and I wouldn't cry if the Soapbox disappeared. But overall, we have a fine message board here, and I think we should be proud of it just as it is.

Like Sarah, I do not feel overburdened with my mod duties. I put time in when I have it, and don't when I don't.

I have lurked at the other retirement boards mentioned, and a few others, and IMO none hold a candle to this one.
The only other related message board that I even like at this time is Bogleheads, and it is more for investing in general than it is a retirement board.

CFB, we miss you. I think we all wish the best for you, your wife, and little Gabe, no matter what you decide to do.
I have been hesitant to post here.

Concerning WTR's comment: I have lurked at various retirement boards, but (IMHO) many suffer from a testosterone fog. One thing I first noticed here was some female posters and moderators.

To CFB: "Live long and prosper."

But who will scream: khaaaaan ?
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Old 10-29-2008, 05:37 PM   #67
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Khaaaaaaan!
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Old 10-29-2008, 05:42 PM   #68
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As for Khan's commentary--I'd like to put right out there in the street that my call for dirty jokes to be PMed to me was answered ONLY BY WOMEN on the board. Interpret that as chicken guys or hilariously funny dirty ladies! I'll take either description as accurate!
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Old 10-29-2008, 05:45 PM   #69
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As for Khan's commentary--I'd like to put right out there in the street that my call for dirty jokes to be PMed to me was answered ONLY BY WOMEN on the board. Interpret that as chicken guys or hilariously funny dirty ladies! I'll take either description as accurate!
hmm.. it's the internet - how do you know they're women?

Just askin'
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Old 10-29-2008, 05:47 PM   #70
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Khaaaaan !!!!!!
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Old 10-29-2008, 05:50 PM   #71
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CFB , You defended me against J.G when I first joined and you have been my hero ever since . I take your opinions seriously in fact I am now typying away on a new Dell computer and I have a Hoover vacuum . Please stay we need your comic relief and your down to earth advice and especially the recipes .
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Old 10-29-2008, 05:50 PM   #72
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hmm.. it's the internet - how do you know they're women?

Just askin'
Well, at least you know they'd LIKE to be women!

You can be anything you want on the internet, as the saying goes.
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Old 10-29-2008, 05:57 PM   #73
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Well, at least you know they'd LIKE to be women!

You can be anything you want on the internet, as the saying goes.
Woo Hoo! The door's open now baby!

Sincerely,

Leo
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Old 10-29-2008, 05:59 PM   #74
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Much to my embarrassment, it has been pointed out to me that one, yep, one man did respond to my dirty joke request, but his wasn't very dirty compared to those from the (suspected) womenfolk!
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Old 10-29-2008, 06:28 PM   #75
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As for Khan's commentary--I'd like to put right out there in the street that my call for dirty jokes to be PMed to me was answered ONLY BY WOMEN on the board. Interpret that as chicken guys or hilariously funny dirty ladies! I'll take either description as accurate!
I thought it might be a trap for you to boot me off the boards!
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Old 10-29-2008, 06:39 PM   #76
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hmm.. it's the internet - how do you know they're women?

Just askin'
Ok, time to come clean.

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Old 10-29-2008, 06:41 PM   #77
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Nice couch.
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Old 10-29-2008, 06:42 PM   #78
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Old 10-29-2008, 06:47 PM   #79
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Nobody noticed those great knees?
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Old 10-29-2008, 07:02 PM   #80
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Concerning WTR's comment: I have lurked at various retirement boards, but (IMHO) many suffer from a testosterone fog. One thing I first noticed here was some female posters and moderators.
Honestly, I hadn't noticed that but now that you mention it... we DO have a lot of very active, knowledgable women on this board, don't we!

Some other retirement boards don't have enough posts to be viable, much less interesting. The lack of posts is what turns me off. It's hardly worth the time to click on a link to go there, IMO, if there are fewer than a dozen posts in a day (or in a week, or month, sometimes! One had fewer than a dozen in the past year. ).

Others have a few more posts but I feel I learn more here.

There is definitely a need out there for a good retirement board. Maybe someday another really outstanding retirement board will appear, and that would be great - - but I think that right now, we are by far the best available. Thanks to all of our members who have been so great in helping the mod team keep on top of spam and other inappropriate posts, to keep this board fun and hopefully thought provoking and helpful, too.

And thanks for holding our friendships together, even now, during not only a divisive presidential election season but unprecedented simultaneous Wall St. and housing meltdowns. Times like these really test us. It hasn't been easy, but I think when we look back on this time we will see that for the most part we remained good friends and passed that test.
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