Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 07-18-2010, 04:16 PM   #21
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 9,039
Since some of us like to write, why don't we post a snippet of a story we have written.

I'll go first....be gentle....



Surrounded by flat land littered with scrub trees and ragweed, stood an asylum for the criminally insane. The building used to be a high school, but most of the population had moved west into town where the educational facilities were more modern. A fuss was raised when the state chose the abandoned building for its new purpose, but due to only grumbling and no action, the state won.

The budget was limited, so not much remodeling was done. The classrooms were made smaller to accommodate the patients and the offices were refurbished for the staff. Anyone passing by couldn’t help but get an uneasy feeling when they happened to glance at the hospital. The immediate impression would be that of not wanting to look at an accident, but the urge was still there. Curiosity set in, followed by repulsion and embarrassment. There would be one new patient added today; another ‘lost’ soul floating above sanity.

Shuffling up the ice covered, brick sidewalk, Brian was keenly aware of the shackles on his hands and feet. The frigid January wind chilled him to the bone, causing him to wheeze when he breathed. Two burly, tired looking men walked on either side as they guided him up the steps into the entrance. Once Brian stepped into the waiting room, he felt as if he were on display. He suddenly felt overwhelmingly small and frightened. The room was so large, that comprehending all those faces was impossible. They all looked the same. He thought about the jury that accusingly stared at him like black eyed crows. The few people in the courtroom including his lawyer all had the same face. He closed his eyes while the guards took the shackles off his wrists and ankles, and felt his body and mind embrace the freedom. Maybe today wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

After Brian’s papers were scrutinized, he was led to a room on the second floor where once again he was checked for anything that might be harmful, to him or others. The search was certainly not pleasant, but the hands were softer than the cold steel that once touched him. From there he was taken to his room where he would spend the rest of his natural life....
__________________

__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 07-18-2010, 05:01 PM   #22
Recycles dryer sheets
Avalon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 424
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI View Post
Since some of us like to write, why don't we post a snippet of a story we have written.

I'll go first....be gentle....
I'd say you're very talented.
__________________

__________________
Avalon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2010, 05:22 PM   #23
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: North of Montana
Posts: 2,753
Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo View Post
I'm beginning to suspect a RAG (random author generator).
Just when I was thinking you may be onto something, I cut and pasted an portion of a Cory Doctorow book into the site. It said the writer wrote like Cory Doctorow.
__________________
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who can extrapolate conclusions from insufficient data and ..
kumquat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2010, 06:20 PM   #24
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 9,039
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avalon View Post
I'd say you're very talented.
Thanks Avalon.....

My imagination shifts to the macabre; I'm a Stephen King fan.
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2010, 06:27 PM   #25
gone traveling
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Eastern PA
Posts: 3,851
Kurt Vonnegut (BTW, looks like me, too )...
Attached Images
File Type: jpg Kurt.jpg (14.6 KB, 61 views)
__________________
rescueme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2010, 07:28 PM   #26
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,017
bbbamI is indeed very talented!

On the subject of Grammar, I am OCD. Since "like" is a preposition (What is a Preposition?), and since "a preposition is not a good word to end a sentence with", and since the author whose writing style we emulate is the indirect object of the verb "write", perhaps the title should be:

"Like whom do you write? "

__________________
Meadbh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2010, 07:38 PM   #27
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Purron's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,584
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI View Post
My imagination shifts to the macabre; I'm a Stephen King fan.
That makes two of us. The site indicated I write like Edgar Allen Poe. Don't know if it's true, but I was fastinated with Poe from a early age.

Quoth Purron: "Nevermore"
__________________
I purr therefore I am.
Purron is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2010, 07:41 PM   #28
Moderator Emeritus
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 4,929
Huh?

It says my non-technical writing is in the style of Dan Brown, and my technical commentary is in the style of Cory Doctorow. Then again, Doctorow's stuff uses the same funny tech stuff as in most technical writing, and both Brown and Doctorow write long, rambling sentences, so perhaps, all in all, the site is accurate in a very generic sort of way.

Or not.

Edit: This post gets "I write like Cory Doctorow"
__________________
M Paquette is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2010, 07:53 PM   #29
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,017
bbbamI has given me an idea. Let's start a story thread! We could try one of those collaborative pieces, with each person adding a few paragraphs. It could get quite hilarious!

Who wants to begin?
__________________
Meadbh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2010, 08:01 PM   #30
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Nodak's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Cavalier
Posts: 2,317
I tried some technical writing and it came back like Arthur C Clark. Then some random other writings came back Edgar Allen Poe. A weird combination.
__________________
"Don't take life so serious, son. It ain't nohow permanent." Pogo Possum (Walt Kelly)
Nodak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2010, 08:03 PM   #31
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 9,039
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meadbh View Post
bbbamI has given me an idea. Let's start a story thread! We could try one of those collaborative pieces, with each person adding a few paragraphs. It could get quite hilarious!

Who wants to begin?
I'll play, but I have to warn you...I write macabre and X rated stories.

Someone else needs to start as I'd like to see the writing style.
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2010, 08:14 PM   #32
gone traveling
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Eastern PA
Posts: 3,851
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI View Post
Someone else needs to start as I'd like to see the writing style.
It was a dark and stormy night...
__________________
rescueme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2010, 08:18 PM   #33
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 9,039
Quote:
Originally Posted by rescueme View Post
It was a dark and stormy night...
Oh NO!!!! Ima skeert now! ........
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2010, 08:25 PM   #34
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Purron's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,584
A siamese cat peered out of the window onto the unkempt garden below. He raised his head and sniffed the breeze then suddenly dashed out of the room as though he caught a sent of impending doom...

Or maybe it was the sound of a can of Fancy Feast being popped
Attached Images
File Type: jpg P1010063.JPG (429.7 KB, 0 views)
__________________
I purr therefore I am.
Purron is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2010, 08:29 PM   #35
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 11,615
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meadbh View Post
bbbamI has given me an idea. Let's start a story thread! We could try one of those collaborative pieces, with each person adding a few paragraphs. It could get quite hilarious!

Who wants to begin?

Collaborative Writing Assignment

Quote:
"At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, . . . "

"Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago."
__________________
"Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite." - R. Heinlein
samclem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2010, 08:32 PM   #36
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,017
Runaway

Drenched and shivering, Megan huddled in a doorway. At this time of night, the bus would not arrive for another twenty minutes at least, and in this area, crime was rampant. Through the rain, a solitary car appeared at the intersection and drove slowly down the deserted street. A john looking for tricks. Megan stood very still in the dark vestibule. The john passed and quiet reigned again, punctuated only by the sound of the driving rain. Megan began to sob as it all came rushing back: the sound of the door being kicked in, the gunshots, her fatherís scream, and the gush of blood as he fell. She was alone now, and hunted.
__________________
Meadbh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2010, 09:47 PM   #37
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Hong Kong
Posts: 1,572
Some results:

1. an extract from a novel I am writing: Cory Doctorow (whom I had never heard of)

2. the last post from my blog: Cory Doctorow (with apologies to Cory Doctorow)

3. the legal disclaimer which gets added to the bottom of all my work related e-mails: Cory Doctorow (with further apologies to Cory Doctorow!)

4. an email from a wine merchant during this year's en primeur campaign: James Joyce

5. an extract from "A Princess of Mars": Edgar Allan Poe

6. an extract from "The Mysterious Affair at Styles": Raymond Chandler

RAG is right.
__________________
Budgeting is a skill practised by people who are bad at politics.
traineeinvestor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2010, 09:52 PM   #38
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,847
My technical/scientific writing is like Arthur C Clarke. Does this mean that my scientific writing is not so much science as science fiction?

For casual writing (an old post from this forum), my writing was like James Joyce.

Who knew?
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2010, 10:01 PM   #39
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 9,039
Runaway

It was a dark and stormy night...

A siamese cat peered out of the window onto the unkempt garden below. He raised his head and sniffed the breeze then suddenly dashed out of the room as though he caught a sent of impending doom...

Or maybe it was the sound of a can of Fancy Feast being popped.

Drenched and shivering, Megan huddled in a doorway. At this time of night, the bus would not arrive for another twenty minutes at least, and in this area, crime was rampant. Through the rain, a solitary car appeared at the intersection and drove slowly down the deserted street. A john looking for tricks. Megan stood very still in the dark vestibule. The john passed and quiet reigned again, punctuated only by the sound of the driving rain. Megan began to sob as it all came rushing back: the sound of the door being kicked in, the gunshots, her father’s scream, and the gush of blood as he fell. She was alone now, and hunted.

There were two eyes on her; eyes glowing in the dark, head turning to the side fixating on the prey. Lips glistened as the tongue moved slowly across the mouth in anticipation of what may lie ahead. The only sound was the rain, a distant rumble of thunder and the steady, quickened heartbeat of the victim and the spectator.
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2010, 11:24 PM   #40
Moderator Emeritus
CuppaJoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: At The Cafe
Posts: 6,866
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI View Post
....I'm a Stephen King fan.
Thank you, I write like him; have only read one of his books, "Ur." Now if I could only find a publisher.
__________________

__________________
CuppaJoe is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How many checks do you write in a year? thefed Other topics 39 10-24-2007 03:22 PM
Anyone ever write a soldier overseas you did not know? Orchidflower Other topics 7 09-17-2007 02:20 PM
Don't Call. Don't Write. Let Me Be. Eagle43 Other topics 13 01-20-2007 05:20 PM
I need to write a will thefed Other topics 26 12-07-2006 07:41 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:15 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.