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Old 06-16-2012, 05:43 AM   #21
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I do the shopping (and cooking). Every 4th or 5th week DW goes and does a blowout shopping because I 'never get anything good'.

Meanwhile, we save $$...even her blowout can't keep up with what I save.
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Old 06-16-2012, 07:52 AM   #22
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My DH does things like buy giant bottles of Texas Pete hot sauce instead of the Texas Pete Cocktail sauce I actually wanted. Nah, I'm not expecting him to go, especially since I do the cooking. Not too many coupons, but mostly fresh stuff, not boxes, and of course beer.
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Old 06-16-2012, 09:08 AM   #23
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We both do - - F. does his, and I do mine. Sometimes we go together and share a cart until we get to the checkout. Sometimes we don't. Works for us, since we aren't living together or pooling our money.

Years ago when I was married, my ex worked at sea and wasn't home much. I don't think he ever saw the inside of a grocery store in his life, literally, but that was the division of labor we had agreed upon.
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Old 06-16-2012, 09:43 AM   #24
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Requirements must always be carefully defined! Left to his own devices, husband will buy the closest thing to what was asked for, so a request for "beets" resulted in 1) Harvard beets and 2) pickled beets, instead of the plain canned beets that were wanted. (Fortunately, at least one person on the house likes at least one of these beet types, so nothing was wasted).

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My DH does things like buy giant bottles of Texas Pete hot sauce instead of the Texas Pete Cocktail sauce I actually wanted. Nah, I'm not expecting him to go, especially since I do the cooking. Not too many coupons, but mostly fresh stuff, not boxes, and of course beer.
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Old 06-16-2012, 09:55 AM   #25
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(I originally quoted another post here at the start of this post, but then realized that what I am saying wasn't really in response to what was said. So I removed the quote.)

In my grocery store, during the times when I shop, approximately a third to a half of the men have cell phones plastered to their ears, and are reading off labels to someone via cell phone. To me it shows a complete lack of involvement and initiative, and they are being no help whatsoever to their wives - - the wife is essentially there saying "buy this, buy that", instead of being able to get other work done. In the extreme, behavior like this can be almost passive aggressive.

My idea of an outstandingly helpful spouse would be someone who could (without help, reminders, or direction) think of a nutritious meal plan that would be liked or acceptable to the family, determine what ingredients are needed, go and buy them at decent prices within a budget, cook, clean up the dishes and kitchen all by himself, and figure out how to incorporate the leftovers into future meals. And he/she would do this for at least half of the meals. Some men do this and I think they are treasures, but some others don't. Luckily I have no dog in this fight (as they say in Texas), because I am happily unmarried and living alone.
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Old 06-16-2012, 10:06 AM   #26
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My idea of an outstandingly helpful spouse would be someone who could (without help) think of a nutritious meal plan that would be liked or acceptable to the family, determine what ingredients are needed, go and buy them at decent prices, cook, clean up the dishes and kitchen all by himself, and figure out how to incorporate the leftovers into future meals. And he/she would do this for at least half of the meals. Some men do this and I think they are treasures, but some others don't. Luckily I have no dog in this fight (as they say in Texas), because I am happily unmarried and living alone.
I'm sorry that this is regarded as "outstandingly helpful" and "treasures" behavior instead of "just hauling their share of the load".
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Old 06-16-2012, 10:08 AM   #27
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I'm sorry that this is regarded as "outstandingly helpful" and "treasures" behavior instead of "just hauling their share of the load".
Maybe it is for younger people, and even for old fogies like me I'm sure it will be, in time. Times have changed so much in our lifetimes.

The word "nutritious" precludes the chips-salsa-beer menu...
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Old 06-16-2012, 10:09 AM   #28
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Requirements must always be carefully defined! Left to his own devices, husband will buy the closest thing to what was asked for, so a request for "beets" resulted in 1) Harvard beets and 2) pickled beets, instead of the plain canned beets that were wanted. (Fortunately, at least one person on the house likes at least one of these beet types, so nothing was wasted).

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I shop like your husband, making my best effort to deliver what I thought was the requirement even when the writing is not clear or the specific product was not to be found. That's why DW does most of the food shopping.

Beer, chips, salsa, chocolate - I really don't see the issue. They are tools of enlightenment.
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Old 06-16-2012, 11:28 AM   #29
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Article today says 52% of men do the grocery shopping. Kinda reflects this forum. In my house, we do it together; after all, it's something to do !
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Old 06-16-2012, 11:59 AM   #30
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We've observed this behavior, too. I think it's more symptomatic of the national obsession with being "connected" every second - same impulse that causes drivers to start yacking on their cell phones when they've just barely left the house. It could also be a symptom of perfectionism - gosh, we've gotta get just the exact right brand and flavor of Greek yogurt, or our day will simply be ruined!

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In my grocery store, during the times when I shop, approximately a third to a half of the men have cell phones plastered to their ears, and are reading off labels to someone via cell phone. To me it shows a complete lack of involvement and initiative, .
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Old 06-16-2012, 12:28 PM   #31
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We shop together on Saturdays. We're shopping as I write this. I'm usually online while we shop
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Old 06-16-2012, 12:41 PM   #32
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If my DH did the grocery shopping, all we would have in the house would be beer, chips and salsa.
Likewise for Mr B, it would be potato chips, chocolate chip cookies, Twizzlers, cold cuts and beef.

I maintain the shopping list. I do the dollar store canned and dry goods and dog food runs when I have another errand that brings me past the store. When we do our big meat shopping trips, we go together to Aldi's or use the free BJ's 3 month trial memberships that Mr B signs up for. For milk/eggs/bread, Mr B buys those items on his way back from the morning Legion guy's coffee club.

All in all, it's a 50-50 split on the shopping chore.
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Old 06-16-2012, 12:51 PM   #33
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Some of the older men I see in the grocery store look perplexed .I always try to help them out since maybe they are there because their wives are sick or have passed away .They can return the favor when I am in Home Depot looking clueless .
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Old 06-16-2012, 02:09 PM   #34
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The few times that DH and I have shopped together it took twice as long because everything needed a discussion. I'd reach for the generic can of black olives on sale for 3/$2 and he'd go for the $2.29 each exotic gourmet ones from the foreign import specialty display. Too much comparing and explaining.

There are times when I appreciate him picking things up at the store. He will faithfully follow a list and execute a coupon. Sometimes I tell him to pick up anything else he'd like just because I get into a rut and seem to buy the same things all the time. That's his chance to try another brand of sardines in mustard sauce or even branch out into sardines in tomato sauce.
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Old 06-16-2012, 02:30 PM   #35
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I've been grocery shopping exclusively for about 5 years now and we spend half as much as we used to when my wife would do it.
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Old 06-16-2012, 02:31 PM   #36
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If my DH did the grocery shopping, all we would have in the house would be beer, chips and salsa.
Some good tequila would be a party


We both do the shopping in our household. We split up and get it done twice as fast. I enjoy picking out the meats.
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Old 06-16-2012, 02:35 PM   #37
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We've observed this behavior, too. I think it's more symptomatic of the national obsession with being "connected" every second - same impulse that causes drivers to start yacking on their cell phones when they've just barely left the house. It could also be a symptom of perfectionism - gosh, we've gotta get just the exact right brand and flavor of Greek yogurt, or our day will simply be ruined!

Amethyst
It might also be because these guys have picky wives, and they know better than to displease the boss. It has happened.

Ha
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Old 06-16-2012, 03:19 PM   #38
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Too much comparing and explaining.
In the military we call that "training". It's the only way to get more qualified people on the watchbill...
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Old 06-16-2012, 03:33 PM   #39
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That is another way of putting what I meant. Probably the people at both ends of the conversation are picky about every little thing, and that is why they are spending time on the phone fussing over Greek yogurt. I should probably note down physical descriptions, etc. so I can avoid ever having to sell a house to such people.

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It might also be because these guys have picky wives, and they know better than to displease the boss. It has happened.

Ha
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Old 06-16-2012, 03:39 PM   #40
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I should probably note down physical descriptions, etc. so I can avoid ever having to sell a house to such people.

A.

Have you ever read Richard Ford's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel Independence Day? If you haven't, its worth reading if only for the part where the realtor protagonist is showing houses to one particular couple. It's also a very good read generally, but your comment put me in mind of that particular episode.
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