My idea of an outstandingly helpful spouse would be someone who could (without help, reminders, or direction) think of a nutritious meal plan that would be liked or acceptable to the family, determine what ingredients are needed, go and buy them at decent prices within a budget, cook, clean up the dishes and kitchen all by himself, and figure out how to incorporate the leftovers into future meals. And he/she would do this for at least half of the meals. Some men do this and I think they are treasures, but some others don't. Luckily I have no dog in this fight (as they say in Texas), because I am happily unmarried and living alone.