Nova
Recycles dryer sheets
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2010
- Messages
- 270
Last edited by a moderator:
Why do others not want me to retire????
- Thread starter DFA
- Start date
urn2bfree
Full time employment: Posting here.
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2011
- Messages
- 852
The only thing about keeping hush hush about it is the shock and even panic some may experience if not prepared for the news when you finally do pull the plug on working....
Some people might assume you are ill...at some point if you actually do RE, you will have to let others in on it...if it is not something to be ashamed of --and it is not as far as I and most people on these boards are concerned---then why keep totally secret about it....
I say plant the seeds....if your reason for retiring is that you don't like the job, don't hide the idea that you might somehow one day find something else to do (frequently singing or humming "there's gotta be something better than this" from SWEET CHARITY might be all the hinting you need to do)
I do think a little prep is in order...remember the joke about the brother who was taking care of his brother's cat while the one brother/ cat owner was on and the cat died. Vacationing brother called just to check in and cat sitter said bluntly "The cat died." After recovering from the shock the cat owner chided his brother on his communication skills. "You have to break news like that gently. For instance when I called you could have just said something like 'the cat's on the roof and we can't get her down.' Later I would call back and you could tell me the cat fell off but you were taking her to the vet...finally when I called later I would be ready for the news that she died."
A few weeks went by, the vacationing brother returned, got a new cat, etc. One Sunday he called his brother to check up on things.
"How's it going?" he asked
His brother replied "Mom's on the roof and we can't get her down."
Let them know your career is on the roof.
Some people might assume you are ill...at some point if you actually do RE, you will have to let others in on it...if it is not something to be ashamed of --and it is not as far as I and most people on these boards are concerned---then why keep totally secret about it....
I say plant the seeds....if your reason for retiring is that you don't like the job, don't hide the idea that you might somehow one day find something else to do (frequently singing or humming "there's gotta be something better than this" from SWEET CHARITY might be all the hinting you need to do)
I do think a little prep is in order...remember the joke about the brother who was taking care of his brother's cat while the one brother/ cat owner was on and the cat died. Vacationing brother called just to check in and cat sitter said bluntly "The cat died." After recovering from the shock the cat owner chided his brother on his communication skills. "You have to break news like that gently. For instance when I called you could have just said something like 'the cat's on the roof and we can't get her down.' Later I would call back and you could tell me the cat fell off but you were taking her to the vet...finally when I called later I would be ready for the news that she died."
A few weeks went by, the vacationing brother returned, got a new cat, etc. One Sunday he called his brother to check up on things.
"How's it going?" he asked
His brother replied "Mom's on the roof and we can't get her down."
Let them know your career is on the roof.
veremchuka
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
i did not tell many people outside of work, just a few. no one was anything but supportive of my decision.
when it was announced in work people i seldom said more than hello to and even some i wouldn't even say hello to were happy for me. i was surprised at the latter group. many did ask what will you do but many knew i was big time into gardening so they knew i wanted to time to garden. odd thing is i do less of it now than when working! but to those that asked what will you do i always said i'll do what i want, when i want, wake up when i want and not have to put up with the lousy commute. everyone seemed to relate to that!
when it was announced in work people i seldom said more than hello to and even some i wouldn't even say hello to were happy for me. i was surprised at the latter group. many did ask what will you do but many knew i was big time into gardening so they knew i wanted to time to garden. odd thing is i do less of it now than when working! but to those that asked what will you do i always said i'll do what i want, when i want, wake up when i want and not have to put up with the lousy commute. everyone seemed to relate to that!
ziggy29
Moderator Emeritus
In some cases I think it's jealousy. In other cases, they may be projecting their own financial insecurity or desire to remain "engaged" with the workplace onto your situation. They may not feel comfortable that they can retire without ever needing to work again, or that they will never miss the workplace -- hence "keeping the skills sharp."
When I cash out, I plan to let those skills dull through non-use over the course of many years.
When I cash out, I plan to let those skills dull through non-use over the course of many years.
rescueme
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
I believe that most folks frame the decisions of others based upon their own beliefs.
If they never considered the option of ER, than why should you?
It's the same for many things in life. If they have children (or not), why don't you (or not).
If they buy American branded cars, why don't you?
If they live in the city, why do you live in the country?
You get the idea. Your decision is outside the norm of what they think - nothing more or less.
When I retired a few years ago (not ER, but at age 59 much earlier than any of my/DW's relatives) they could not understand how I could do it let alone why I would do such a thing; especially with what it costs to live, the availability of j*bs, etc.
Four years later, they still may not understand, but then again they don't ask these days.
It's no different than DW who spent a few weeks in Cairo in November, with another woman who shares her "wanderlust". They could not see anybody that would want to travel outside CONUS on their own. Needless to say, they had a lot of questions for her once things started to get out of hand over there. At least they were then interested in the living conditions of the folks along the river (they were also on a Nile cruise).
Whatever you do in life, you will always have those that will just look at you and shake their heads. That's OK. I don't need their approval to live my life the way I want to (other than the approval of my DW, of course! )...
If they never considered the option of ER, than why should you?
It's the same for many things in life. If they have children (or not), why don't you (or not).
If they buy American branded cars, why don't you?
If they live in the city, why do you live in the country?
You get the idea. Your decision is outside the norm of what they think - nothing more or less.
When I retired a few years ago (not ER, but at age 59 much earlier than any of my/DW's relatives) they could not understand how I could do it let alone why I would do such a thing; especially with what it costs to live, the availability of j*bs, etc.
Four years later, they still may not understand, but then again they don't ask these days.
It's no different than DW who spent a few weeks in Cairo in November, with another woman who shares her "wanderlust". They could not see anybody that would want to travel outside CONUS on their own. Needless to say, they had a lot of questions for her once things started to get out of hand over there. At least they were then interested in the living conditions of the folks along the river (they were also on a Nile cruise).
Whatever you do in life, you will always have those that will just look at you and shake their heads. That's OK. I don't need their approval to live my life the way I want to (other than the approval of my DW, of course!
)...FreeAtLast
Full time employment: Posting here.
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2008
- Messages
- 702
I am also in IT Semiretired now working for someone else. I was a consultant for years and I don't see how people view this as something for retirement.
Anyway, I tell people that I am semiretired and they generally say good for you!
Four mornings a week in IT is about all that I want right now. The drama, stress, deadlines of the job have all been gone for several years. I show up do what is asked of me and leave by 1:30.
Anyway, I tell people that I am semiretired and they generally say good for you!
Four mornings a week in IT is about all that I want right now. The drama, stress, deadlines of the job have all been gone for several years. I show up do what is asked of me and leave by 1:30.
Just shake your head yes and say 'good idea'. I took a 3 month gig this winter so I could have earned income and fund my roth for 2011. It is in the medical reporting area. It is very easy work for the money. People are very nice and give me more than enough time to do the work. It turns out the ERP system they use is very popular in hospitals and the demand for reporting skills far exceeds the supply.
This is the first time in 20 years that I am living 'at' my means. i.e. spending it all (except the roth). I pre-paid my Yellowstone lodging, bought a used dual sport bike for Colorado trail riding this summer and have set aside $$ for 2 summer trips.
It is interesting listing to cube mates call the bank and put $50 in to stop the overdraft fees, borrow $ to buy a mattress, other temp workers call the payroll dept when the direct deposit is 1 day late. Pretty scary.
This is the first time in 20 years that I am living 'at' my means. i.e. spending it all (except the roth). I pre-paid my Yellowstone lodging, bought a used dual sport bike for Colorado trail riding this summer and have set aside $$ for 2 summer trips.
It is interesting listing to cube mates call the bank and put $50 in to stop the overdraft fees, borrow $ to buy a mattress, other temp workers call the payroll dept when the direct deposit is 1 day late. Pretty scary.
