Why do people online think I'm a guy?

[obgyn65]

OK - I have unrestricted access to my profile now. My fault, sorry.

obgyn must have "about me" restricted

 

[Achiever51]

I am female but my name is neither male nor female specific so I'm often called "Mr." I find it more amusing than irritating, ESP. when I was at MegaCorp in a very male-dominated career. I often answered my own phone, and always got a kick out of hearing some self-important putz call and demand to speak to MR. Achiever, claiming to be a close personal friend. Sometimes I'd wait a second before replying that my husband MR. Achiever was not employed at Megacorp, but could be reached at xxx-xxx-xxxx. I would then hang up and wait for the inevitable follow up call and apology about assuming I was "just" MR. Achiever's secretary, or heaven forbid, "his girl," rather than a female in the job. It was hilarious to hear the bluster from these idiots.

I know. My bad. Heh, heh, heh!

 

[W2R]

That's only my online persona. I person I'm a mealy-mouthed milquetoast.

 

[Nords]

I am female but my name is neither male nor female specific so I'm often called "Mr." I find it more amusing than irritating, ESP. when I was at MegaCorp in a very male-dominated career. I often answered my own phone, and always got a kick out of hearing some self-important putz call and demand to speak to MR. Achiever, claiming to be a close personal friend. Sometimes I'd wait a second before replying that my husband MR. Achiever was not employed at Megacorp, but could be reached at xxx-xxx-xxxx. I would then hang up and wait for the inevitable follow up call and apology about assuming I was "just" MR. Achiever's secretary, or heaven forbid, "his girl," rather than a female in the job. It was hilarious to hear the bluster from these idiots.

Nothing spins my spouse up faster than getting official military correspondence addressed to the two of us using her rank "... and Mrs. Nords".

She's also had to re-educate a few unlucky cold-callers who knew how to pronounce military ranks but were seemingly unaware that they could apply to women as well as to men.

But today my favorite phone calls are the ones where I happen to answer, they assume I'm the one they want and start addressing me on their extremely important military issue, and they eventually call me by my spouse's rank. It gives me great pleasure to say "Oh, hold on, you must be calling for my wife..."

At least the people who used to call her "sir" seem to have met their inevitable premature demise. That hasn't happened in a long time.

 

[Khan]

I rather like people not being able to discern my gender online. Lack of any identifiers excepted what is posted tends to level the field.

 

[Meadbh]

Two physician friends of mine were married to each other. He (Dr. XY) was an anesthesiologist, she (Dr. XX) was a family doc. She went to a conference and he came along as the accompanying spouse. He received a large package of material addressed to "Mrs. XX".

He enjoyed the sewing classes!

 

[Amethyst]

Back when online forums were new, I received several PMs from people purporting to be women, who wanted me to be aware that they had been surprised to learn I was a woman (I'd mentioned my sex in a post). All along, they had assumed I was a man. Of course I asked why. The answers were all on the order of "You seemed so well-informed and sure of yourself."

Apparently, real women were expected to precede every statement with 'I know this may sound stupid, but....'

It's weird to look back and consider the ways in which women have been socialized.

Amethyst (whose sex, not gender, is female).

 

[REWahoo]

Back when online forums were new, I received several PMs from people purporting to be women, who wanted me to be aware that they had been surprised to learn I was a woman (I'd mentioned my sex in a post).

When you mention sex in a post you're setting yourself up for all sorts of PMs...

 

[Khan]

Back when online forums were new, I received several PMs from people purporting to be women, who wanted me to be aware that they had been surprised to learn I was a woman (I'd mentioned my sex in a post). All along, they had assumed I was a man. Of course I asked why. The answers were all on the order of "You seemed so well-informed and sure of yourself."

Apparently, real women were expected to precede every statement with 'I know this may sound stupid, but....'

It's weird to look back and consider the ways in which women have been socialized.

Amethyst (whose sex, not gender, is female).

So true.

I've been online since mammoths roamed the web.

My day job was programming since '82.

 

[Amethyst]

Yeah, so what about you, bragging in your .sig line about how HARD your numbers is....

When you mention sex in a post you're setting yourself up for all sorts of PMs...

 

[REWahoo]

Yeah, so what about you, bragging in your .sig line about how HARD your numbers is....

Check your PMs...

 

[NW-Bound]

I rather like people not being able to discern my gender online. Lack of any identifiers excepted what is posted tends to level the field.

That's too bad.

I usually pay more attention to posts from women.

Just because...

 

[Sarah in SC]

Amethyst (whose sex, not gender, is female).

This is totally foreign to me, a girl (wait, can I use that instead of woman or female?), so I had to look it up.
In case there are other neanderthals among us that, like me, had no idea these two terms require differentiation, here are some official words from the World Health Organization:

What do we mean by "sex" and "gender"?

Sometimes it is hard to understand exactly what is meant by the term "gender", and how it differs from the closely related term "sex".
"Sex" refers to the biological and physiological characteristics that define men and women.
"Gender" refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviours, activities, and attributes that a given society considers appropriate for men and women.
To put it another way:
"Male" and "female" are sex categories, while "masculine" and "feminine" are gender categories.


Source: WHO | What do we mean by "sex" and "gender"?

Dang, I learn something new every day around here!

 

[Khan]

This is totally foreign to me, a girl (wait, can I use that instead of woman or female?), so I had to look it up.
In case there are other neanderthals among us that, like me, had no idea these two terms require differentiation, here are some official words from the World Health Organization:

What do we mean by "sex" and "gender"?

Sometimes it is hard to understand exactly what is meant by the term "gender", and how it differs from the closely related term "sex".
"Sex" refers to the biological and physiological characteristics that define men and women.
"Gender" refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviours, activities, and attributes that a given society considers appropriate for men and women.
To put it another way:
"Male" and "female" are sex categories, while "masculine" and "feminine" are gender categories.


Source: WHO | What do we mean by "sex" and "gender"?

Dang, I learn something new every day around here!

And one can pay a high price for not conforming.

 

[kyounge1956]

"Why do people online think I'm a guy?"

I guess they aren't paying attention? I have always thought of you as a woman, if that makes you feel any better. Absolutely, unequivocably female, an outspoken woman with strong and interesting opinions.

In contrast, I thought that both CuppaJoe and Khan were men, at first, when really they are women as well. It is sometimes difficult to tell, online, especially when a woman is confident and secure in her own identity and also primarily discusses topics other than lingerie, cooking, pets, and bacon, for example.

That's only my online persona. I person I'm a mealy-mouthed milquetoast.

No, I really meant it. Or at least, I am much more outspoken and forceful when writing on the forum than I am verbally in person.

 

[clifp]

When online poker was new and still legal, and I still played it, my screenname was HeatherHi, I expected to be played differently (Men try to bluff woman more and also assume they play more conservatively) and wasn't disappointed. But eventhough you could check my real gender easily enough, between living in Hawaii and being a girl that played poker, I got lots of proposals. Once I had to invite a Marine husband to stop the guy on his way to Hawaii that wanted to meet me...

 

[NW-Bound]

Once I had to invite a Marine husband to stop the guy on his way to Hawaii that wanted to meet me...

Come on now clifp. I find it hard to think a guy would do that if you did not post a glamour shot of "yourself" as enticement. And how would the guy find where you lived?

 

[FinanceDude]

Must not comment........................................................................................................................................................

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

Check your PMs...

I think this "PM" falls under the category of "public domain" and should be shared openly. For the good of the group, that is.

 

[Nords]

When online poker was new and still legal, and I still played it, my screenname was HeatherHi, I expected to be played differently (Men try to bluff woman more and also assume they play more conservatively) and wasn't disappointed. But eventhough you could check my real gender easily enough, between living in Hawaii and being a girl that played poker, I got lots of proposals.

Well, damn, now I want my $35,000 back, and when are you going to return the ring I sent you?!?

I think this "PM" falls under the category of "public domain" and should be shared openly. For the good of the group, that is.

This is about the only downside of turning in a moderator's badge...

 

[Alan]

I think this "PM" falls under the category of "public domain" and should be shared openly. For the good of the group, that is.

This is about the only downside of turning in a moderator's badge...

Not sure what you mean Nords, but the moderators on this site can't see any PM's other than their own.

 

[Bestwifeever]

...
This is about the only downside of turning in a moderator's badge...

If the moderator's badge let us read other people's PMs (of course no one has access to them other than the sender and the recipient), Andy would have to pay us a whole lot more!!!

 

[haha]

If the moderator's badge let us read other people's PMs (of course no one has access to them other than the sender and the recipient), Andy would have to pay us a whole lot more!!!

Or a whole lot less, as your psychic income would take a huge boost.

 

[Nords]

Not sure what you mean Nords, but the moderators on this site can't see any PM's other than their own.

If the moderator's badge let us read other people's PMs (of course no one has access to them other than the sender and the recipient), Andy would have to pay us a whole lot more!!!

Oh, sure, I [-]get it[/-] remember now, that's true, you're absolutely right, I stand corrected!

You've probably also found all of BMJ's back-door logins and OAP's other user accounts...

 

[Rustward]

Well, I have worked with computers for 37 years, and there is/are somebody/somebodies associated with these forums that can read PM's. Somebody has to debug things when they break.
Hopefully these somebodies are ethical.

Edit:
To some people computers and networks are magical black boxes. To the rest of us they are just electronic devices and infrastructure that behave in a very predictable way. For just about every computer, server, program, or network element, there are people who, with the proper tools and access, can see *ANY* data in a system. This is a requirement of making the system function properly and diagnosing and fixing problems.

I was trying to say that in this post:
http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f28/penfed-credit-card-woes-52448.html#post990457

If there is a process that can receive your PM and forward it to the intended recipient, there is a process by which an individual with access can view it.