Originally Posted by citrine
Modhatter and MissMolly....I have the same exact mother! I had to distance myself for a while and now try to limit my interactions with her as well as our conversations. She is not able to see anything past others faults, her friends' big homes, the lot that life has dealt her.....We are not at the point of driving her to her doctors visits...but I really do dread that day.
Ah...my exMIL has distant relatives.
I put up with exMIL for the 1st ten years of my marriage, then I declared the next 10 years belonged to me. I limited my exposure to her, never again going to the parents' home, but only joining my ILs in public where I could count on some level of decent behavior.
At first, my husband objected to my declaration of independence, but when she continued to degrade me (and him), he finally saw her for what she was. He continued to visit his parents, mostly so he could see his dad. Those visits inevitably ended up in screaming matches, as he related to me when he returned to our home.
I suggested he find ways to overcome the "gatekeeper" setup, i.e. take his dad out by himself, but it was always overruled. Sad...
A few months after he passed, I cut off all contact with her on the advice of my physician and grief counselor. I took a lot of "hits" from the community for doing that, but it was very liberating. I tried to stay in contact with FIL, but again...overruled.