Jambo, I'm really glad you talked with your wife about counseling and that you both are on board to give it a try. That tells me there is hope. I don't think either one of you has completely given up here.
I think counseling can be extremely helpful. It helps you both to understand the root causes underlying the issues you are arguing about. It helps you to each understand better where the other is coming from. It helps, as others have said, you both to communicate better. It really, really sounds like you both need to find ways to communicate better.
Also, though, as others mentioned, you can get a crappy counselor and may have to test out several. The cost is a concern, for sure, too. If you have a religious affiliation, sometimes they will have a fund that allows you to get discounted counseling from practitioners that have agreed to provided counseling at a reduced fee to church members. Just a thought.
Counseling may or may not work for you - but you have to hope that it will and go in with an open mind to do everything you can to save the relationship. Try to let your guard down and be a little vulnerable. Let your wife know you still love her and want to be with her forever and share your life dreams together (assuming that is true). If things don't work out, you haven't lost anything more by trying your best on your end to heal the relationship. You will know you have given it your all. (I know we all have to protect ourselves, too, from being hurt more...but I think putting up walls only creates more walls on the other side...)
