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Women-Those Wacky Romantics!
Old 06-29-2009, 10:26 AM   #1
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Women-Those Wacky Romantics!

Japan Has a New Name for the Mating Game: Konkatsu - WSJ.com

WSJ-Tokyo:

Experts say that in tough times, single women feel an urgency to get married for financial stability, while men tend to put off marriage until they feel they can afford it. The konkatsu buzz has coincided with companies' move to shed employees during the recession.

Yuriko Akamatsu, a 35-year-old office worker, has attended two matchmaking parties in the past six months. "I want to get married because I sometimes feel like quitting my job," said Ms. Akamatsu, who didn't find Mr. Right at either party. "Marriage is like permanent employment."

Yessir, it truly warms the heart.

Ha
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Old 06-29-2009, 11:04 AM   #2
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Japan Has a New Name for the Mating Game: Konkatsu - WSJ.com

WSJ-Tokyo:

Experts say that in tough times, single women feel an urgency to get married for financial stability, while men tend to put off marriage until they feel they can afford it. The konkatsu buzz has coincided with companies' move to shed employees during the recession.

Yuriko Akamatsu, a 35-year-old office worker, has attended two matchmaking parties in the past six months. "I want to get married because I sometimes feel like quitting my job," said Ms. Akamatsu, who didn't find Mr. Right at either party. "Marriage is like permanent employment."

Yessir, it truly warms the heart.

Ha
But isn't it what marriage has always been about? Marrying for love is quite a novel fantasy tinted with Western sensibilities. It is clear that until the 20th century, marriage was nothing more than a union of convenience. People used to marry for money, power, notoriety, respectability and if they were lucky, affection would even flourish over time. Perhaps we are just reverting to the mean...
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Old 06-29-2009, 11:07 AM   #3
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Lessee, the Chinese have a surplus of men, Japanese women want other than Japanese husbands. Hmmmmmm.
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Old 06-29-2009, 11:44 AM   #4
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Perhaps we are just reverting to the mean...
That's what my ex-DW did...
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Old 06-29-2009, 11:48 AM   #5
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That's what my ex-DW did...
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Old 06-29-2009, 11:59 AM   #6
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Experts say that in tough times, single women feel an urgency to get married for financial stability, while men tend to put off marriage until they feel they can afford it.
It seems to me that some people, both male or female, think that marriage to someone (anyone?) with money or a solid income to be a brilliant way out of their own financial mess. Personally I think that is despicable, but there will always be those who behave like this.
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Old 06-29-2009, 12:06 PM   #7
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I agree with Want2Retire. I think marrying someone whose main attraction was financial would be the most horrible way possible to go through life. I'm glad I got married young when all I cared about was that he was good-lookin' and fun to be around and that whenever I saw him it made my heart beat faster. It was the easiest decision I ever made.
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Old 06-29-2009, 12:13 PM   #8
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What's also interesting is the different attitudes many people take based on the gender looking to do the leeching golddigging marrying for financial security.

Despite the "gold digger" label, it's still largely acceptable socially for women to look to "marry money", but a man who does that is almost universally considered a leeching loser. I think that was largely because women didn't have much of an opportunity to become independently wealthy or financially secure in the past -- and in that context the double standard was understandable. But now women have a greatly increased ability to financially succeed on their own, and with that is coming a gradual shift in attitudes about specifically trying to marry into money. The double standard is becoming less defensible, and indeed, it seems to be fading somewhat.
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Old 06-29-2009, 01:02 PM   #9
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What's also interesting is the different attitudes many people take based on the gender looking to do the leeching golddigging marrying for financial security.

Despite the "gold digger" label, it's still largely acceptable socially for women to look to "marry money", but a man who does that is almost universally considered a leeching loser. I think that was largely because women didn't have much of an opportunity to become independently wealthy or financially secure in the past -- and in that context the double standard was understandable. But now women have a greatly increased ability to financially succeed on their own, and with that is coming a gradual shift in attitudes about specifically trying to marry into money. The double standard is becoming less defensible, and indeed, it seems to be fading somewhat.
Oh, definitely! I don't think many people respect women who are only interested in dating doctors and other well heeled prospects, yet do not earn a reasonably high salary themselves. At least, that's been my observation among those I know here in New Orleans.
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Old 06-29-2009, 01:16 PM   #10
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Well gold digging is alive and well in Sarasota . Whenever we go to any event we see tons of older( 70-80) guys with very young (late 20- early 30),very attractive women and I don't think they are their daughters .
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Old 06-29-2009, 01:35 PM   #11
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What's also interesting is the different attitudes many people take based on the gender looking to do the leeching golddigging marrying for financial security.

Despite the "gold digger" label, it's still largely acceptable socially for women to look to "marry money", but a man who does that is almost universally considered a leeching loser. I think that was largely because women didn't have much of an opportunity to become independently wealthy or financially secure in the past -- and in that context the double standard was understandable. But now women have a greatly increased ability to financially succeed on their own, and with that is coming a gradual shift in attitudes about specifically trying to marry into money. The double standard is becoming less defensible, and indeed, it seems to be fading somewhat.
I totally agree with that.

If you read 19th century novels, it is clear that jobs and money were scarce in those days (as they had been throughout history). The ones who did have either usually had to support a large number of people who could not work for one reason or another (gentlemen, women, invalids, elders, etc...). "Leeching" was a necessity for many people from all walks of life and from both genders. I don't know how it came to be the privilege of just a few...
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Old 06-29-2009, 01:46 PM   #12
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Oh boy...the stories I could tell when I first became single.
You'd think I had rented a billboard along the highway.
My single lady friends invited me to go to singles line dancing events, speed dating, band nights at bars, the local casino dance club, yadda yadda yadda. They meant well, but I passed. Meat market alert !
I can't imagine participating in something like this Japanese fad.
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Old 06-29-2009, 01:57 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by haha View Post
Japan Has a New Name for the Mating Game: Konkatsu - WSJ.com

WSJ-Tokyo:

Experts say that in tough times, single women feel an urgency to get married for financial stability, while men tend to put off marriage until they feel they can afford it.
Yessir, it truly warms the heart.

Ha
I'm still waiting until I can afford it and women continue to avoid me because I can't afford them.
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Old 06-29-2009, 02:12 PM   #14
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When people get together it's because of a need. If two people understand each other's needs, I don't see a problem.
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Old 06-29-2009, 03:41 PM   #15
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I just finished watching a video of "Picture Bride" where a young beautiful lady from Yokohama discovers that the man in the picture is much older and poorer than she thought and is surprised that he expects her to work in the sugar cane fields. She wants to return to Japan so bad she follows in her friends footsteps by also taking in laundry.

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Yuriko Akamatsu, a 35-year-old office worker, has attended two matchmaking parties in the past six months. "I want to get married because I sometimes feel like quitting my job," said Ms. Akamatsu, who didn't find Mr. Right at either party. "Marriage is like permanent employment."
This may be the exception to the rule, she might consider keeping the day j*b.
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Old 06-29-2009, 04:32 PM   #16
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Much of this is hard-wired into primate biology. The reproductive success of females (that is, the highest chance of passing on their genes) comes from pairing with a male who has sufficient resources to assure her progeny grow to adulthood. For males, the best bet for passing on their genetic material comes from mating with many healthy young females--males have little "investment" in each child, the best bet is to have a lot of them with many women. In this setup, the males have nothing to gain by a monogamous relationship--but if they have entered into one, they have the most to lose if the female cheats (since his resources would then be used to raise kids that don't have his genetic material).

We're civilized and each of us has free will. We aren't slaves to these sociobiological tendencies, but they are strong and, without moderating influences, they do a good job of explaining how we'd behave.
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Old 06-29-2009, 05:22 PM   #17
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I personally don't think anything is wrong with someone marrying for money, as long as the other person knows about it.

I am in the IT industry and most indians (from east india) I work with marry via some kind of marriage arrangement. Meaning of marriage is different to different people.

For some, physical attractiveness is more important than financial stability, for some, conversation, for some, sport activities, etc, etc.
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Old 06-29-2009, 06:10 PM   #18
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What's also interesting is the different attitudes many people take based on the gender looking to do the leeching golddigging marrying for financial security.

Despite the "gold digger" label, it's still largely acceptable socially for women to look to "marry money", but a man who does that is almost universally considered a leeching loser.
I was proposed to, at various times, by men who turned out to be interested in the fact I had a secure job and no baggage, whereas they already were paying child support and mortgages. On the other hand, an interest in my opinions and what made me "tick" was barely feigned.

I'd say that wanting to marry someone they had so little in common with, simply to get help paying their bills, goes way beyond gold-digging on the cynicism scale. Yet I am sure they did not think of themselves as losers or gold-diggers, only practical fellows who "knew a good thing when they saw it."
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Old 06-29-2009, 06:11 PM   #19
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Much of this is hard-wired into primate biology. The reproductive success of females (that is, the highest chance of passing on their genes) comes from pairing with a male who has sufficient resources to assure her progeny grow to adulthood.
I read this all the time. But if it is true, why are women all the time schtuping with no-goodniks who never had and never will have any real money or stability?

Ha
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Old 06-29-2009, 06:13 PM   #20
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