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Would this be rude? Advice, please.
Old 08-15-2010, 10:17 PM   #1
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Would this be rude? Advice, please.

I have a couple of friends who will call my cell phone number, and if I don't answer will leave a message. Then they will immediately call my home phone number, and leave the same message (or vice-versa). Its annoying as I constantly have to clear their messages from two places. And also, its the year 2010 - both my phones show me who's called so I have no idea why its necessary to leave two messages that say the same thing. When I asked one of them once, they answered that they wanted to speak to me right away, and since I didn't answer the cell they thought they'd try home. Still a little annoying (um, I'm not deaf so if I didn't answer the cell I was probably busy, why would I answer the home phone then) but ok, whatever.

Would like to tell both these friends to just leave one message. Was thinking of sending them both a seperate email and letting them know I changed my home phone plan to a very basic plan to keep DSL and 911 alive only (which I did, since I just got a smartphone and upgraded that plan), and would like for them to only call the cell phone and leave a message there only.

Does that come across as rude? If they continue to call the home phone line do I ignore it (still have answering machine hooked up to it).
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Old 08-15-2010, 10:23 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by caninelover View Post
I have a couple of friends who will call my cell phone number, and if I don't answer will leave a message. Then they will immediately call my home phone number, and leave the same message (or vice-versa). Its annoying as I constantly have to clear their messages from two places. And also, its the year 2010 - both my phones show me who's called so I have no idea why its necessary to leave two messages that say the same thing. When I asked one of them once, they answered that they wanted to speak to me right away, and since I didn't answer the cell they thought they'd try home. Still a little annoying (um, I'm not deaf so if I didn't answer the cell I was probably busy, why would I answer the home phone then) but ok, whatever.

Would like to tell both these friends to just leave one message. Was thinking of sending them both a seperate email and letting them know I changed my home phone plan to a very basic plan to keep DSL and 911 alive only (which I did, since I just got a smartphone and upgraded that plan), and would like for them to only call the cell phone and leave a message there only.

Does that come across as rude? If they continue to call the home phone line do I ignore it (still have answering machine hooked up to it).
I don't know if I would consider it rude if someone made this request to me, because I don't often think in these terms. But I do know that I would think that he was someone who confuses humans with machines. I don't much like to be micro-managed, so I would likely just tune down my interaction. Which could be good for both of us, if this were the sort of thing that is bothersome.

Ha
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Old 08-15-2010, 10:26 PM   #3
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Interesting...I didn't think of it from that perspective...
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Old 08-15-2010, 10:34 PM   #4
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Keep it simple - just say that you just have the DSL for Internet, and rarely ever use the phone, you often have the ringer turned off, and hardly ever check voice mail on it. So let them know that it's best to just check your cell #.

This way you aren't being rude, you are doing them a favor and saving them the time of leaving two messages. And it's the truth. Win-win.

And you should probably add something to that effect on the announcement on the DSL VM.

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Old 08-15-2010, 10:38 PM   #5
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I have done exactly what you describe to a couple of relatives (are you related to me? ). Usually when I call both places it's because I really want/need to get in touch with them right at that time, maybe to catch them before they go somewhere.

If they told me to call only their cell phone and that they don't even check their home phone for messages, I wouldn't think it was rude--I would probably be glad to know that was the preferred way to contact them.
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Old 08-15-2010, 10:38 PM   #6
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I don't think there was anything wrong with what your friends did. I also don't think there's anything wrong with telling them to only call your cell phone. In the future, you should only give out the cell number.
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Old 08-15-2010, 10:40 PM   #7
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ERD50 the answering machine is on a land line that I keep to keep DSL alive (my carrier does not offer naked DSL). I don't want to announce my cell phone number on there as I get a lot of crap telemarketers calling that line and don't want them to call my cell...

To Ha's point, I don't want them to feel like I'm micro-managing them by telling them what they can/can't do - just want to politely let them know that leaving two messages is kinda a waste of both our time, like you said...
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Old 08-15-2010, 10:41 PM   #8
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Ha ha ha, Bestwifeever quit calling me!!! Just kiddin'...
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Old 08-15-2010, 11:04 PM   #9
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caninelover, get Google Voice. Then you can tell them to call that number and it will ring both your cell and home phone.

It's free.

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Old 08-15-2010, 11:06 PM   #10
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You can have your land line immediately transfer all calls to your cell phone. That way, you fix it so that they only get your cell phone no matter which number they call. Just call the phone company. They'll behappy to tell you how, and it might not even cost more than 50 cents a month.
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Old 08-15-2010, 11:08 PM   #11
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i guess everyone's different...but i am surprised it bugs you so much. I'd just BS and say hey...i dont ever check the home messages...i just got the one you left 3 months ago about xxxx....so just stick to the cell
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Old 08-15-2010, 11:13 PM   #12
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I do have google voice as the voicemail on my cell phone, however it was my understanding that my basic landline plan will not forward calls without a charge, so I do not have that set up to forward to Google voice or cell phone (again I have lots of telemarketers on that line, certainly don't want to PAY to forward them!)

Also, even if I gave them the google voice number to call, I would still have to tell them to stop calling the land line directly...

Thefed, they leave messages both places at the same time, for the same thing...that's the problem so I can't say I didn't get the message that they left at home, cause then I would've gotten the one they left on the cell...

This is all very confusing, even to me.
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Old 08-16-2010, 12:35 AM   #13
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I have a friend with a cell and a land line, and sometimes that person checks one, sometimes the other, so I feel like I must call both and leave messages both places, which I find somewhat annoying. I would love to be told to just call the cell.
So no, I don't think it's rude at all to suggest they just phone the cell.
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Old 08-16-2010, 01:14 AM   #14
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I think I must have mis-interpreted the situation. One question I have- since people will rarely continue to do something that never gets reinforced, does it sometimes happen that you answer one phone, and not the other?

This frequently happens with one of my sons- he lives in a coverage shadow, and sometimes his cell rings, sometimes not. Or people may have their cell in a purse, and not hear it, while they will hear the landline. My own problem is that I may have my sell on vibrate, but if I am wearing baggy jeans and moving to music I may not notice it, while I will notice my home phone.

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Old 08-16-2010, 05:48 AM   #15
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Suggestion:
- Call them back from the cell phone. Pretend you didn't get the second copy of the message on your home phone, but make a note of its contents.
- At some later stage, say after a month, call them from your home phone. Say "Hi, I just got your voice mail message". They will say "message?". You say "Yes, you left a message on my home voice mail about XYZ". They will say "Oh, but that was like a month ago". You can say "Oh, right, I didn't hear the funny tinny voice reading the date back very clearly" (your friend has no way to know what your voice mail interface is like). And then you can say "Sorry, I only check the home phone voice mail occasionally, because very few people have the number" (or some other story).

Results (hopefully):
- They will stop leaving messages on your home phone
- Nobody loses face
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Old 08-16-2010, 06:40 AM   #16
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My own problem is that I may have my sell on vibrate, but if I am wearing baggy jeans and moving to music I may not notice it...
The question is, do you call yourself when wearing tight jeans to get those "good vibrations" while moving to music?
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Old 08-16-2010, 06:50 AM   #17
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I suppose it depends on the person. One sister prefers calls only to her cell phone, the other prefers calls land line. While I do have a cell phone I rarely use it and people calling me have a much better chance on the land line. If I'm home the cell phone is turned off anyway.

So, without being grumpy about it, I just let people know they have a better chance of contacting me on the land line.
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Old 08-16-2010, 08:09 AM   #18
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Maybe having several voicemail systems/answering machines is a bad idea in itself. The more "inboxes" you have, the harder it becomes to manage incoming info.

I solved the problem by deactivating voicemail. If I'm awake and wearing pants, ie most of the time, I'll answer the phone. If I don't pick up the phone, you'll have to call me later or send me a text message because I'm asleep or need my head for activities that involve not wearing pants. ;-)

Other solutions are eliminating one of your numbers or using
http://www.youtube.com/googlevoice (unfortunately not available in Europe)
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Old 08-16-2010, 08:37 AM   #19
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The problem is not the people calling, it is too many phones and voicemail options. If you don't want multiple messages reduce the number of voicemail or phone numbers.
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Old 08-16-2010, 10:34 AM   #20
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Thanks everyone.

I've toyed with turning the answering machine & ringers off on the landline so people have no option to leave messages there, but I've had that number for 11 years and a lot of places that I do want to be able to contact me (dr offices, banks) have that number, so I would need some time to be able to change that but maybe that is the best option.

If I don't answer my cell I don't answer the home phone either. In the past I would return messages from either phone which may be part of the confusion but now that I changed my landline plan to basic, I return all calls from my cell.
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