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Old 07-15-2015, 10:07 PM   #21
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I would doubt very much that I would be friends with my two brothers and sister (all younger than me by at least 14 years) if we were not family. Not because there is anything wrong with them, or me for that matter, but just that we most probably wouldn't have met or socialized in the same groups. I do love them, and also like them very much, but we do not have many of the same interests or common backgrounds. We all seem to get along quite well and enjoy each others company when we can get together (normally once a year when I come back to the USA on vacation).
Good question!

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Old 07-16-2015, 05:44 AM   #22
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I like all five of my siblings. Two of my brothers are within a year or so of my age and we hung out together and often lived together in our early twenties. We have been geographically separated for 35 years but see each other often (one of them died a few years back). I have two sisters and a brother 15+ years older than me. My sisters are down in Arizona but we stay in touch and try to get together every few years. My brother lives in a DC suburb and I see him frequently. I also like most of my nephews and nieces. Same goes for DW's family.

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Old 07-16-2015, 07:06 AM   #23
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1/6 for DW and me. :-)

My sibs are great folks that we enjoy seeing several times a year, but given the socio-econ gulf between us, unfamilial friendship would be unlikely even if we lived near them as adults.

She has one sister/friend who we go out of our way to visit in a fairly distant state (and vice versa). The other two are different.... (And, I'm sure they'd say the same about us!). Still, we enjoy seeing them and their kids every year...
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Old 07-16-2015, 07:08 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by irishgal View Post
Not a chance.

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+2 (or +3 or +4.....)

My younger brother and I have nothing in common.
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Old 07-16-2015, 07:10 AM   #25
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Definitely not. Never were close (one older brother 5 years older), and when issues came up with parents it broke what little communications had existed. Did fly to visit when he passed and returned for memorial, but his social network was really foreign to me. When you wake up in ICU on ventilator and see your younger brother you haven't seen for ~20 years it's probably a sign things are not going well for you.

Am very happy that DS and DD are close (live on different continents but get along well). Really looking forward to a week at beach rental house where we'll have both together with the 5 GC. Families are great when they work, but when they don't it can really be painful. Have a good friend, former colleague, who is 67 with 3 siblings and mother still alive and doing really well at 92. I love being around them (all except my friend live in same area near beach) even though they really are quite different from DW and me. They have various degrees of health issues and all work to great lengths to help each other out; it's quite heartening.
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Old 07-16-2015, 07:58 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by freebird5825 View Post
I am the youngest of 5 siblings. We really have nothing in common as far as personality and life approach goes.

Perhaps I was hatched...

My answer is definitely not.
Totally same. I am the oldest of 6. Many people have commented on how unalike I am to my sibs. The most obvious, but certainly not the only, difference is net worth and lifestyle, education, fitness, I suspect happiness. One is deceased, one (most normal) is a retired teacher, one is schizophrenic, two others have very poor life skills and exist on the fringes. Would not ever be friends with them if it wasn't for family connection.
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Old 07-16-2015, 08:05 AM   #27
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I have 4 siblings, and I very highly doubt it. I am nothing like my family and we have very little in common. It difficult to even spend time with them as we have nothing to say...we pretty much stick to how are the kids? I have about 35 first cousins and I finally found 3 of them I am similar to and we all feel like outcasts.

I know I'm different because I spent a lot of time with the neighbors and thus grew up with a very different perspective on life. I'm a city/world traveler, they are rural farmers...those two things really don't mix...its pretty much the extremes in everyway. Then you add the economic difference and it really isn't going to set well. I remember sitting at my Grandmas table while my uncles were bitching about my cousin who made $40k as a manager at a plant... how could some 30 yr old make that much? its ridiculous was the conversation...nothing like awkward as you sit there making 6 figures at 30.. you just shut up and tell your grandma how good her pie is.

The thing is, they are still your family.. even my brother who I don't even like, I'd do anything for. I think the fact you can love someone you don't even like is an amazing part of human nature.
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Old 07-16-2015, 08:08 AM   #28
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I wish I were close to my siblings and am jealous when I see people who are obviously related out and about enjoying each other.
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Old 07-16-2015, 08:19 AM   #29
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Yes. My sister and I were close from day 1, and we think alike, and we have always looked out for each other, and our life circumstances are very similar, and...

But don't get me started on aunts and uncles and cousins.
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Old 07-16-2015, 09:36 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by donheff View Post
I like all five of my siblings...
I also like most of my nephews and nieces. Same goes for DW's family.
My wife got along with her siblings, and often mediates between them. I strongly believe that without her, some of them would not speak to one another.

I do not agree with my siblings all the time, but there is no need to bring politics or lifestyle differences into the family relationship. I try to focus on what we have in common and our experiences growing up together. We now live different lives and we should not tell each other what to do.

My children get along well with their cousins and the spouses too, and are like siblings to some of them. Of course my son and daughter are very close, and that pleases us to no end.
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Old 07-16-2015, 10:04 AM   #31
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This thread deserves a poll...please...

Another BIG NO younger brother....well, let's just keep it at NO.
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Old 07-16-2015, 10:09 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by Which Roger View Post
But don't get me started on aunts and uncles and cousins.
8 people as aunts/uncles. Lots of cousins. I get along with all of them, partly because we live 2300 miles apart. Sometimes I miss them. But not enough to move.

Both older brother and older BIL died at age 69. No other siblings. But we got along great.

Back in the day, I kept in touch with all the cousins on my mother's side after a family squabble. Never regretted that.
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Old 07-16-2015, 10:29 AM   #33
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My sister and I are very different in many ways. We would not be friends if not related.

As sisters we get along very well. As we get older and lose other family members we both realize what a treasure it is to have each other as sisters.

When we were younger she used to try to "fix" me because she thought I should be more like her - social, religious and concerned about having all the right things and being seen by all the right people. Then she realized that I was happy the way I was and there were parts of her life that were miserable.

Over the years she has gone through some changes (divorce, remarriage, reconnecting with one of her sons) and is much happier now has a healthy respect for our differences.

We appreciate having each other and we are friends but it would not have happened if we were not related.

We also had a brother. He died in 2006 from drugs and stupidity. He was estranged from the family for many years and had contacted me in 2004 to reconnect. We were slowly getting to know each other again when he died. I would not have been friends with him.

DH is the oldest of 5 siblings and would be best friends with his brother and one or two of his sisters if they lived nearby. His brother and his family are coming for a quick visit on the 24th. I love seeing the brothers together.
Married, both 63. DH retired June, 2010. I have a pleasant little part time job.
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Old 07-16-2015, 10:39 AM   #34
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Sibling and I do not talk with each other. Our views on life, government, work, money, etc. are incompatible.
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Old 07-16-2015, 11:25 AM   #35
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I get along with all my siblings, they don't all get along with me.

Looking back two generations there are similar patterns of behaviour within the families. There seems to be a genetic component to this, I see signs in the next generation as well, although (happily) they are fading.
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Old 07-16-2015, 11:28 AM   #36
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I seriously doubt it. One is a helicopter mom who drives me crazy when I'm around her; the other is too spendy and self-centered for my taste. Now, they're my sisters and I don't keep a bunch of friends of the opposite sex close anyway, so that's probably enough to go on, but I doubt either sister would have time for me if they weren't my sisters either.

My brothers in law? They're they types of guys I have for friends, yes, so my sisters chose well I think!
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Old 07-16-2015, 11:30 AM   #37
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Another 'No' vote here. My sister is 41, and a terminally unemployed (apparently former?) drug addict who still lives at home and sponges off my Dad. I haven't spoken to her in 4+ years, and asked my Dad to stop bringing her with him when he visits.

Even if her life wasn't in such a shambles, we'd never be friends. She's very extroverted and loud, and very much a grasshopper to my ant.
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Old 07-16-2015, 12:01 PM   #38
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One younger brother who passed away too soon 18 years ago. While we lived in New England our families were close, and we always got along. When we moved to the Midwest, we never visited, though we exchanged emails on a regular basis on philosophy, and life in general. He was a friend and follower of Noam Chomsky, which provided the subjects for exchanging our views on the world. He was extremely bright, and we always enjoyed our esoteric discussions.

Brothers in law and sisters in law... always spent time together as part of our extended families which meant weekends and vacations with all of our kids... a family tradition... DW's family and my family were always together... Summers always in RI. and on Narraganset Bay. Later SIL and BIL lived near us on Cape Cod for 6 years, then in upstate NY for another five years. Probably the happiest years of our lives... with 7 youngsters between us. After they moved to PEI, CA we still visited together, when we lived in FL...

We are friendly with another BIL and SIL but because of distance, no longer as close as in the early years.

So yeah... Would we be friends? We still are... it's only distance and years that intervene... In a way, perhaps because of growing up in an earlier time... 1930's through the late 1980's... Families were always close. Not just fading memories, but a closeness that meant sharing the downsides, as well as the happy times.

No regrets, except for those who have passed away.
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Old 07-16-2015, 01:15 PM   #39
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My older brother and sister just under me are pretty awesome people, and so yes I am and would be friends with both. My younger sister drifted away from our family years ago which disturbed me a lot because I was close to her. I don't think I've seen or heard from my youngest brother in over 15 years, which is a shame because he and I were very close until I went off to college. I have always liked my brothers and sisters, but always thought I could have done a better job which parents to be born to. They're alright, but have always been and continue to be a handful.
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Old 07-16-2015, 01:27 PM   #40
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No, if my sister was not my sister, we would not be friends.

I love and respect my sister greatly, but we are not close. We are more like casual acquaintances that think fondly of each other, but have nothing in common. And it works fine for us.

You're only crazy if you're poor. If you have money, you're eccentric.
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