Join Early Retirement Today
Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 05-20-2011, 08:22 AM   #21
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
HFWR's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lawn chair in Texas
Posts: 12,964
Quote:
Originally Posted by donheff View Post
I don't have enough information to conclude how I would act if I were in Maria's shoes.
You're feet would probabvly hurt...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah in SC View Post
Ah, but I probably wouldn't stick around for any of those other things on your laundry list either. Well, unless we both got fat together!
__________________

__________________
Have Funds, Will Retire

...not doing anything of true substance...
HFWR is offline  
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 05-20-2011, 08:42 AM   #22
Full time employment: Posting here.
Silver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Orlando, Fl
Posts: 580
My guess is Maria has great options for a future with any man she choses, if that's what she wants. So why should she stick around with someone she knows she can't trust?
__________________

__________________
You're only crazy if you're poor. If you have money, you're eccentric.
Silver is offline  
Old 05-20-2011, 10:07 AM   #23
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,380
Quote:
Originally Posted by Silver View Post
My guess is Maria has great options for a future with any man she choses...
Skeletor?

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline  
Old 05-20-2011, 10:17 AM   #24
Full time employment: Posting here.
Silver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Orlando, Fl
Posts: 580
Quote:
Originally Posted by haha View Post
Skeletor?

Ha

Well....their facial features are kinda similar I guess. But she dresses better.
__________________
Silver is offline  
Old 05-20-2011, 10:23 AM   #25
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 13,251
Quote:
Originally Posted by Letj View Post
I am not suggesting that he cheated because the marriage was not good. What I am saying is that if they had a great marriage, why is she so quick to divorce him as a 55 year old woman and risk growing old alone? I personally, don't think it's smart to divorce your husband of many years if you have a good marriage and he had a one time indiscretion.


She will have no trouble attracting another mate is she wishes...
__________________
Texas Proud is offline  
Old 05-20-2011, 11:27 AM   #26
 
Posts: n/a
Why are most of you assuming that the cheater is the man? Of the people I am acquainted with in 3 marriages the wife is the cheater in all cases. With women no longer being stuck in the house they have just as much opportunity to cheat as men do.

I don't think you can say today what you would do tomorrow, every case is different.
__________________
 
Old 05-20-2011, 11:30 AM   #27
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2,250
Quote:
Originally Posted by haha View Post
Tough crowd. Having someone cheat on you is challenging, but harms you less than having her spend too much money, drink too much, get really fat, use cocaine, have lousy inlaws, get you involved in disputes, etc. Things change if she is unavailable or unloving to you.

Ha
WOW. Really?? To me, discovering that my husband had cheated and has a child (a teenager really) would have a far greater impact on me than any of the things you listed. This finding may harm me less financially (unless he has been giving them a lot of money - recently $600K for the woman's house), but emotionally, the degree of devastation, to me, is much much greater. Whenever what you have been perceiving as life, trust, etc gets changed when you are not ready, it is a life changing experience.
__________________
tmm99 is offline  
Old 05-20-2011, 11:34 AM   #28
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
youbet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 9,965
Quote:
Originally Posted by donheff View Post
An interesting side note is that a lot of male cheaters will not tolerate the same in their wives (Arnold?) (Bill?). I guess being a dick head is a generic feature.
There's another example for ya!
__________________
"I wasn't born blue blood. I was born blue-collar." John Wort Hannam
youbet is offline  
Old 05-20-2011, 11:35 AM   #29
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 13,251
If my wife cheated I would probably get a divorce...

If my wife cheated and it resulted in a baby, I would definately get a divorce...


I think that the problem with Arnie is that there were a LOT of women who came forward and said he did this or did that and Maria defended him, making it look like they were liars.... this goes to her credibility... Now you kind of have to believe that they were correct and she was wrong...
__________________
Texas Proud is offline  
Old 05-20-2011, 12:02 PM   #30
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,380
Arnold is a product of Venice Beach and the 60s muscle culture, then Hollywood, then bigtime politics

Maria Shriver is a Kennedy for heaven's sake. She comes from a famous family of blue ribbon cheaters. Heck, in at least one case, they not only cheated but the sex partner wound up drowned.

Like Peter Lorre says in Casablanca, "I'm shocked".

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline  
Old 05-20-2011, 12:23 PM   #31
Moderator Emeritus
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 11,031
Before getting married, I told my wife-to-be that any cheating would result in a divorce. Period.

Well, after 10 years of marriage, I am less sanguine about the whole thing. I think it would have to depend on the circumstances. If the cheating was just a moment of lust, I would be more inclined to forgive than if it was a long-term affair.
__________________
FIREd is offline  
Old 05-20-2011, 12:23 PM   #32
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 575
In answer to the title of the thread:
Will your life be better if you get a divorce? Sometimes divorce is not the solution and it sometimes makes the life more miserable.
__________________
KingB is offline  
Old 05-20-2011, 12:25 PM   #33
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 13,251
Quote:
Originally Posted by haha View Post
Arnold is a product of Venice Beach and the 60s muscle culture, then Hollywood, then bigtime politics

Maria Shriver is a Kennedy for heaven's sake. She comes from a famous family of blue ribbon cheaters. Heck, in at least one case, they not only cheated but the sex partner wound up drowned.

Like Peter Lorre says in Casablanca, "I'm shocked".

Ha

Yea, this was one of my thoughts also.... coming from a family of cheaters she should not be 'shocked' that a rich and powerful man cheats...
__________________
Texas Proud is offline  
Old 05-20-2011, 12:43 PM   #34
Full time employment: Posting here.
antmary's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Northern California
Posts: 542
To answer the question - "Would you stay in a marriage if your spouse cheated?"

No - because marriage, for me, denotes "sacred trust," and once that is gone, it is gone.
__________________
antmary is offline  
Old 05-20-2011, 12:44 PM   #35
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
calmloki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Independence
Posts: 5,459
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiger View Post
Why are most of you assuming that the cheater is the man? Of the people I am acquainted with in 3 marriages the wife is the cheater in all cases. With women no longer being stuck in the house they have just as much opportunity to cheat as men do.

I don't think you can say today what you would do tomorrow, every case is different.

To quote rumour posted by Meadbh on another thread: "Fertility specialists commonly run across this issue. Rumour has it in the medical community that the percentage of children whose fathers are not their biological fathers is approximately 10%".

Now that's sex with issue. What do you guess that means for infidelity type sex percentage as far as sex both with and without issue?
__________________
calmloki is offline  
Old 05-20-2011, 01:50 PM   #36
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
DangerMouse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 1,812
Truthfully I don't think until you are in such a situation do you truly know how you would act. I don't think that life is so cut and dried.

Would you throw out 25 years of a good and happy marriage for one mistake? I'm not talking about the Arnie situation, I have chosen not to read about it, because truthfully it is none of my business. This is between him and his wife.

I would like to think that I would at least hear him out before I stormed out the door and called the divorce lawyers.
__________________

I be a girl, he's a boy. Think I maybe FIRED since July 08. Mid 40s, no kidlets. Actually am totally clueless as to what is going on with DH.
DangerMouse is offline  
Old 05-20-2011, 01:51 PM   #37
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,898
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah in SC View Post


Exactly. But as for Arnie, I think he was a serial womanizer, this just happened to be the only, er, issue from his infidelity.

I don't care how old we are, I'm not staying with a cheater just so I'm not alone. No children, small or otherwise.
Exactly. And I've never understood the fear of "growing old alone." The worse thing I can imagine is spending my elderly years with an old husband who doesn't appreciate me and expects me to "be there" to take care of him in his old age.
Maybe it's because I spent 9 years as a single parent and had some pretty steep challenges early in life. I am pretty self sufficient emotionally, and I feel that I can handle the aging process. I'm not afraid of death, like many people, having confronted a life endangering condition at age 31. I made my peace with mortality then.
__________________
Zoocat is offline  
Ann Landers
Old 05-20-2011, 02:38 PM   #38
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 214
Ann Landers

Years ago Ann Landers wrote an advice column. Women would write in and say their husband did this, did that, didn't do this, etc, should I leave him?

Ann's advice: "Are you better off with him or without him?".

Still pretty good advice if you ask me. And we can't get inside Maria's head to know the answer. A very personal judgment call.
__________________
chemist is offline  
Old 05-20-2011, 08:53 PM   #39
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,014
Quote:
Originally Posted by haha View Post
Tough crowd. Having someone cheat on you is challenging, but harms you less than having her spend too much money, drink too much, get really fat, use cocaine, have lousy inlaws, get you involved in disputes, etc. Things change if she is unavailable or unloving to you.
Cheating is the only thing on that list that married couples take a vow not to do.
__________________
Meadbh is offline  
Old 05-20-2011, 10:17 PM   #40
Full time employment: Posting here.
Badger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 824
My first wife of 10 years cheated and as soon as I found out it didn't take me 5 seconds to come to the realization that by her actions she had already ended the marriage. Up to that moment I was all for doing what ever it would take to make the marriage a good one.

Now I'm on my last chance at a marriage. It's will be 24 years tomorrow. We both feel that cheating is about as bad as it could get. It encompasses lieing, breaking a vow, creating life long suspicion, mental anguish, and destroying trust. I don't have any respect for someone that would be that hurtful to their spouse.

I would find it hard to live with myself if I ever caused that much pain to someone I professed to love.

Cheers!
__________________

__________________
Badger is offline  
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Have you ever cheated on a partner? thefed Other topics 104 10-14-2009 04:59 PM
Retirement and Marriage Milton Young Dreamers 2 09-29-2007 05:59 PM
Making marriage last Martha Other topics 105 07-22-2006 07:52 AM
Anyone started a marriage while FI free4now FIRE and Money 29 01-26-2006 04:58 PM
Second (or third) marriage and ER John Galt Other topics 9 12-12-2004 02:54 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:19 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.