Would you stay in a marriage if your spouse Cheated?

[HFWR]

Quote:

Originally Posted by donheff I don't have enough information to conclude how I would act if I were in Maria's shoes.

You're feet would probabvly hurt...

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Originally Posted by Sarah in SC Ah, but I probably wouldn't stick around for any of those other things on your laundry list either. Well, unless we both got fat together!

YouTube - ‪Encore! Austin Lounge Lizards "Old & Fat & Drunk" 86‬‏

[Silver]

My guess is Maria has great options for a future with any man she choses, if that's what she wants. So why should she stick around with someone she knows she can't trust?

[haha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silver My guess is Maria has great options for a future with any man she choses...

Skeletor?

Ha

[Silver]

Quote:

Originally Posted by haha Skeletor? Ha

Well....their facial features are kinda similar I guess. But she dresses better.

[Texas Proud]

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Originally Posted by Letj I am not suggesting that he cheated because the marriage was not good. What I am saying is that if they had a great marriage, why is she so quick to divorce him as a 55 year old woman and risk growing old alone? I personally, don't think it's smart to divorce your husband of many years if you have a good marriage and he had a one time indiscretion.

She will have no trouble attracting another mate is she wishes...

Why are most of you assuming that the cheater is the man? Of the people I am acquainted with in 3 marriages the wife is the cheater in all cases. With women no longer being stuck in the house they have just as much opportunity to cheat as men do.

I don't think you can say today what you would do tomorrow, every case is different.

[tmm99]

Quote:

Originally Posted by haha Tough crowd. Having someone cheat on you is challenging, but harms you less than having her spend too much money, drink too much, get really fat, use cocaine, have lousy inlaws, get you involved in disputes, etc. Things change if she is unavailable or unloving to you. Ha

WOW. Really?? To me, discovering that my husband had cheated and has a child (a teenager really) would have a far greater impact on me than any of the things you listed. This finding may harm me less financially (unless he has been giving them a lot of money - recently $600K for the woman's house), but emotionally, the degree of devastation, to me, is much much greater. Whenever what you have been perceiving as life, trust, etc gets changed when you are not ready, it is a life changing experience.

[youbet]

Quote:

Originally Posted by donheff An interesting side note is that a lot of male cheaters will not tolerate the same in their wives (Arnold?) (Bill?). I guess being a dick head is a generic feature.

There's another example for ya!

[Texas Proud]

If my wife cheated I would probably get a divorce...

If my wife cheated and it resulted in a baby, I would definately get a divorce...


I think that the problem with Arnie is that there were a LOT of women who came forward and said he did this or did that and Maria defended him, making it look like they were liars.... this goes to her credibility... Now you kind of have to believe that they were correct and she was wrong...

[haha]

Arnold is a product of Venice Beach and the 60s muscle culture, then Hollywood, then bigtime politics

Maria Shriver is a Kennedy for heaven's sake. She comes from a famous family of blue ribbon cheaters. Heck, in at least one case, they not only cheated but the sex partner wound up drowned.

Like Peter Lorre says in Casablanca, "I'm shocked".

Ha

[FIREd]

Before getting married, I told my wife-to-be that any cheating would result in a divorce. Period.

Well, after 10 years of marriage, I am less sanguine about the whole thing. I think it would have to depend on the circumstances. If the cheating was just a moment of lust, I would be more inclined to forgive than if it was a long-term affair.

[KingB]

In answer to the title of the thread:
Will your life be better if you get a divorce? Sometimes divorce is not the solution and it sometimes makes the life more miserable.

[Texas Proud]

Quote:

Originally Posted by haha Arnold is a product of Venice Beach and the 60s muscle culture, then Hollywood, then bigtime politics Maria Shriver is a Kennedy for heaven's sake. She comes from a famous family of blue ribbon cheaters. Heck, in at least one case, they not only cheated but the sex partner wound up drowned. Like Peter Lorre says in Casablanca, "I'm shocked". Ha

Yea, this was one of my thoughts also.... coming from a family of cheaters she should not be 'shocked' that a rich and powerful man cheats...

[antmary]

To answer the question - "Would you stay in a marriage if your spouse cheated?"

No - because marriage, for me, denotes "sacred trust," and once that is gone, it is gone.

[calmloki]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiger Why are most of you assuming that the cheater is the man? Of the people I am acquainted with in 3 marriages the wife is the cheater in all cases. With women no longer being stuck in the house they have just as much opportunity to cheat as men do. I don't think you can say today what you would do tomorrow, every case is different.

To quote rumour posted by Meadbh on another thread: "Fertility specialists commonly run across this issue. Rumour has it in the medical community that the percentage of children whose fathers are not their biological fathers is approximately 10%".

Now that's sex with issue. What do you guess that means for infidelity type sex percentage as far as sex both with and without issue?

[DangerMouse]

Truthfully I don't think until you are in such a situation do you truly know how you would act. I don't think that life is so cut and dried.

Would you throw out 25 years of a good and happy marriage for one mistake? I'm not talking about the Arnie situation, I have chosen not to read about it, because truthfully it is none of my business. This is between him and his wife.

I would like to think that I would at least hear him out before I stormed out the door and called the divorce lawyers.

[Zoocat]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarah in SC Exactly. But as for Arnie, I think he was a serial womanizer, this just happened to be the only, er, issue from his infidelity. I don't care how old we are, I'm not staying with a cheater just so I'm not alone. No children, small or otherwise.

Exactly. And I've never understood the fear of "growing old alone." The worse thing I can imagine is spending my elderly years with an old husband who doesn't appreciate me and expects me to "be there" to take care of him in his old age.
Maybe it's because I spent 9 years as a single parent and had some pretty steep challenges early in life. I am pretty self sufficient emotionally, and I feel that I can handle the aging process. I'm not afraid of death, like many people, having confronted a life endangering condition at age 31. I made my peace with mortality then.

[chemist]

Years ago Ann Landers wrote an advice column. Women would write in and say their husband did this, did that, didn't do this, etc, should I leave him?

Ann's advice: "Are you better off with him or without him?".

Still pretty good advice if you ask me. And we can't get inside Maria's head to know the answer. A very personal judgment call.

[Meadbh]

Quote:

Originally Posted by haha Tough crowd. Having someone cheat on you is challenging, but harms you less than having her spend too much money, drink too much, get really fat, use cocaine, have lousy inlaws, get you involved in disputes, etc. Things change if she is unavailable or unloving to you.

Cheating is the only thing on that list that married couples take a vow not to do.

[Badger]

My first wife of 10 years cheated and as soon as I found out it didn't take me 5 seconds to come to the realization that by her actions she had already ended the marriage. Up to that moment I was all for doing what ever it would take to make the marriage a good one.

Now I'm on my last chance at a marriage. It's will be 24 years tomorrow. We both feel that cheating is about as bad as it could get. It encompasses lieing, breaking a vow, creating life long suspicion, mental anguish, and destroying trust. I don't have any respect for someone that would be that hurtful to their spouse.

I would find it hard to live with myself if I ever caused that much pain to someone I professed to love.

Cheers!