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Old 11-13-2009, 10:09 AM   #41
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We've lost lots of good friends to child-rearing. It is somewhat of a joke nowadays as we dread our friends upcoming marriage because I just know that she'll want to get knocked up right away. I find that we stick with our childfree friends even if they aren't "perfect" just because it is a pain to try to find new ones without kids.

I am beginning to wonder about that age gap with older retirees, though. Might we have more in common with a couple that has retired at 55 than the 40 year olds still slogging away at jobs with little crumb crunchers to still put through school? I dunno...but we may have to find out.
So, you can't be friends with folks who have kids?

I don't see how folks without kids can't be friends with folks who do, but maybe that is just me.......
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Old 11-13-2009, 10:30 AM   #42
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We can, but THEY often can't. If they will:

a) not bring the kids to adult parties
b) not talk endlessly about them to us
c) have the kids leave us in peace for a few minutes for grown up talk

Then yeah, yeah...we're glad to be friends. My sister and I are great friends and she has three of the little crumb-crunchers. They are unfailingly polite, well-mannered, and quiet when we go to see the family. And she gets a babysitter so we can go out together--the best part!

It is just a matter of perspective--I've had more folks that I can shake a stick out give me the pitying look and say "well you'd understand if you had kids of your own!". Yeah well, that is the point.
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Old 11-13-2009, 10:36 AM   #43
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It is just a matter of perspective--I've had more folks that I can shake a stick out give me the pitying look and say "well you'd understand if you had kids of your own!". Yeah well, that is the point.
Hey, I've said that same statement above ON THIS BOARD......... Usually its on one of those threads where those without kids try to give those of us with kids parenting advice.......kinda a pet peeve of mine. Kinda like when my twice divorced sister used to try giving me marriage advice...............yeah.ok...........:rofl :
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Old 11-13-2009, 10:38 AM   #44
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part of the issue is that many of the kid-ed are either worn down or at their wits end and don't have much to talk about other than the kids or the kidded lifestyle - no judgement here... I wish many blessings on those so brave to have children

most kidded marriages seem to be under a lot of stress, as people are still confused over traditional vs modern roles, raising children is 1000 times more difficult than expected, and few are happy by my observation, at least while in the middle of the difficult years.

I suppose as well there is the nagging doubt about not having kids which you have to face when interacting with the kidded.

due to my wife working in the arts and the predilection of some close relatives, we end up socializing mostly with gay couples.

It is indeed true however, that if you have 5 minutes to agonize about your social life, you have indeed achieved a rare and privaleged state of being.
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Old 11-13-2009, 09:12 PM   #45
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Originally Posted by Sarah in SC View Post
We can, but THEY often can't. If they will:

a) not bring the kids to adult parties
b) not talk endlessly about them to us
c) have the kids leave us in peace for a few minutes for grown up talk

Then yeah, yeah...we're glad to be friends. My sister and I are great friends and she has three of the little crumb-crunchers. They are unfailingly polite, well-mannered, and quiet when we go to see the family. And she gets a babysitter so we can go out together--the best part!

It is just a matter of perspective--I've had more folks that I can shake a stick out give me the pitying look and say "well you'd understand if you had kids of your own!". Yeah well, that is the point.
Hey, you met my kids and me. DW is even more normal than we are......... So, if I ever move to Charleston, we could hang out quite easily.........
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Old 11-13-2009, 10:43 PM   #46
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I of course carve you and Fuego out of my blanket statements about peeps with kids--y'all both seem like you could forget you had kids long enough to go on a pub crawl of Charleston while a babysitter hung out with the kids!
And....I sure hope DW is more normal than you...I mean, c'mon! Low hanging fruit there!
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Old 11-14-2009, 08:28 AM   #47
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I of course carve you and Fuego out of my blanket statements about peeps with kids--y'all both seem like you could forget you had kids long enough to go on a pub crawl of Charleston while a babysitter hung out with the kids!
Definitely. As long as we are all done by 10 pm so we can go pick the kids up from the sitter.

Yeah we do kid-less stuff frequently. As much as parents love their kids, you need a break once in a while. In fact this wednesday we both got off from work at noon and had a Heroes marathon while my Mom was watching the kids. Niiiice. Very quiet and distraction free tv watching which is rare around our house.
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