WSJ article Couples Dating

[Sarah in SC]

I found this article to be quite intriguing and recall how hard it is for most of us interested in FIRE to find like-minded folks as friends.

The website mentioned in the article, called Kupple, was very interesting and I went through the whole list of SC couples just to see what was "out there".

Thought others might like to read the article. Would you ever resort to "couple dating" to meet like-minded folks?


Couples Dating: Frustrations of Finding a Good Match - WSJ.com

[Notmuchlonger]

I would not be interested in meeting like minded folks. I enjoy making friendships or acquaintances with people who think differently than me.

But for someone who is interested in finding like minded people. Why not seems like a good idea.

[Orchidflower]

The tv show, "Queen of Kings," had a couple shows about this very thing as they are supposedly a younger childless couple looking for other DINKS to play with. Pretty funny if you can catch the old re-runs you can find out how the husband gets rid of couples he doesn't like: i.e., he pulls up his shirt and asks them to assess his chest which is somewhere over his humungo belly while rubbing his nipples! Naturally, he grosses the other couple out and they bolt away so fast as they can.

[FUEGO]

Interesting. I hadn't considered that some people need a more formal method of acquiring and forming relationships with other couples. We don't have a lot of close friends/acquaintances, but we get together fairly regularly (once every month or two) with probably 4-5 couples or single people. It is usually 1 couple or person at a time - more like a "date" per the article. I'd say virtually all of our social relationships have been formed through work or professional contacts of some sort. But I think we are very choosy about friends/acquaintances.

Excessive sports talk is a rapid deal breaker for us. It is ok as initial small talk, but if a person is one-dimensional to the extent that everything relates back to sports, the game, favorite games, favorite plays, etc., then our relationship will quickly end. Otherwise I think we are pretty open relationship-wise, and have a fairly diverse cross-section of friends/acquaintances.

I had never really thought that there would be the politics/angst behind "couples dating". Say the husband really likes the other couple but the wife can't stand them. I guess I try to appreciate the good in each individual, and enjoy talking to whomever will engage in conversation. I guess I'm always ready for dinner, parties, light drinking, conversation, etc.

Sarah, too bad you guys are so far away, otherwise we could "couple date"! I may corrupt your DH though, so it may not work out too well...

[FUEGO]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Notmuchlonger I would not be interested in meeting like minded folks. I enjoy making friendships or acquaintances with people who think differently than me.

We think exactly alike. Too bad we can never be friends!

[Bimmerbill]

Thought this was a swingers website for a second.

[haha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bimmerbill Thought this was a swingers website for a second.

This is. You just don't know the secret code.

Hint-SWR means Swing With Righteousness.

Ha

[Notmuchlonger]

Quote:

Originally Posted by FUEGO We think exactly alike. Too bad we can never be friends!

No we dont think exactly alike!

[Sarah in SC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by FUEGO Sarah, too bad you guys are so far away, otherwise we could "couple date"! I may corrupt your DH though, so it may not work out too well...

Oh, I think we could use some upscaling on our liquor choices that maybe you could help us with!

I think it would be especially helpful for folks that have moved to a new place in retirement that don't play golf or do any of the "traditional" retirement things. Whereas my sister who just moved up to Vermont has a ready access to other couples with young children, these folks would not have such an entry to social functions.

Interesting, though. And sometimes I think I'd like to trade in my friends for some new ones!

[simple girl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarah in SC Thought others might like to read the article. Would you ever resort to "couple dating" to meet like-minded folks?

Interesting article. Not sure we'd ever resort to this approach, but we did join a group for people without children in order to expand our social contacts - and have since become very good friends with 3 other couples. We no longer live near each other, but often meet up for vacations - at least once a year.

We have had significant trouble making friends where we currently live. It is part of the reason we are about to move again...that's for another thread!

[bbbamI]

That article is a hoot and a half...boy, can I relate.

When we were younger, we had quite a few 'couple' friendships. The things we all had in common were music, dancing and drinking. I don't think any of us ever got annoyed with each other...because, well...booze was involved.

As time has gone by, we have a few friendships; however most of them are scattered about the country. We keep in touch through e-mails, occasionally visit and spend a couple of days with them and have a blast.

As I get older, I prefer to associate with others less. I suppose I like a night out on the town with others...at my own convenience. Yep, I'm getting stodgy in my old age....

[FUEGO]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarah in SC Oh, I think we could use some upscaling on our liquor choices that maybe you could help us with!

I don't know. I'm usually a bottom shelf liquor buyer unless I can get the top shelf stuff for less than the bottom shelf stuff. The art is in mixing and serving it, not paying up for questionable improvement in quality.

[Sarah in SC]

Fuego you are going to LOVE Dr. Thomas Stanley's new book called Stop Acting Rich. It is all about how "aspirationals" buy fancy liquor and "real" millionaires go for the bottom shelf stuff--or worse, what Dr. Stanley calls the "euphemistically named party-section of the liquor store".

I am halfway through it and howling over the liquor (and wine) stories.

[W2R]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarah in SC Fuego you are going to LOVE Dr. Thomas Stanley's new book called Stop Acting Rich. It is all about how "aspirationals" buy fancy liquor and "real" millionaires go for the bottom shelf stuff--or worse, what Dr. Stanley calls the "euphemistically named party-section of the liquor store". I am halfway through it and howling over the liquor (and wine) stories.

I knew a multi-millionaire who drank white Ripple every day for lunch, and bought it by the case. (I knew another who was delighted with his $20 Timex watch, wore it all the time, and loved showing its features to everybody, even though he owned several Rolexes.) Sounds like an enjoyable read.

[FUEGO]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarah in SC Fuego you are going to LOVE Dr. Thomas Stanley's new book called Stop Acting Rich. It is all about how "aspirationals" buy fancy liquor and "real" millionaires go for the bottom shelf stuff--or worse, what Dr. Stanley calls the "euphemistically named party-section of the liquor store". I am halfway through it and howling over the liquor (and wine) stories.

Man, I'll be looking for it at my library in a few months...

Party section = the bottom shelf where my Aristocrat, Traveler's Club, etc reside? I guess it is true, we do buy a lot of this stuff for parties.

Our liquor store is always interesting. It is the nicest one in the county because it is brand new. And right on a major north-south highway on the edge of the downtown area (sort of). So we get a mix of out of town preppy suburbanites looking for the drink, office workers from the adjacent office park (I guess I would fall in this category), and completely washed up homeless-looking bums and prostitutes and other denizens of the ghetto. I have noticed the luxury of the liquor purchased is inversely proportional to the perceived wealth of the clientele.

[audreyh1]

How come couples dating devolved into buying liquor?

Audrey

[W2R]

Hey, it's Sarah's fault but I guess it's ok since it was her thread...

Back on topic - - no, we would never do "couples dating". Frank and I don't spend much time with other couples.

[haha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by audreyh1 How come couples dating devolved into buying liquor? Audrey

You can't deal with couples dating completely sober. Or even a little sober.

Ha

[Kronk]

We have trouble finding friends to hang out with. Most people our age (35) have kids, and just about the last thing I want to do is hang out with people and their kids. So we have to find people we both like and that are childless. Or I suppose empty nesters, but we still feel enough of a generational gap with people that age that it would feel awkward.

Can't imagine the "couples date" thing would work all that well for us, either. Just don't know how to find friends. Hrm.

[Moemg]

Some people seem to love to couple date . We are not in that group . We do occasionally meet other couples for dinner or a party but that's it . The bad thing about couple dating is if one of the couples split up or a spouse dies the party left behind is dropped quickly for another couple. Tacky but true !