Your worst moments / worst failures?

[Nords]

In conjuction with CFB's inspiring http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/535070-post1.html thread, how about the five worst moments or failures of your life?

1. Death of my mother (breast cancer).
2. Having to take my daughter to work. From midnight to 6 AM. When she was about nine months old.
3. Not selecting for submarine XO (although many good things eventually devolved).
4. The accumulated baggage of failing my first qualification board for [insert just about every submarine watchstanding position, both underway and inport]. Passing the re-boards was slightly less unpleasant. I turned out to be better at experiential learning.
5...178.) Learning to control my temper. Tae kwon do is helping a lot but I'm still counting.

 

[Khan]

When I was 16: My brother died

When I was 21: I got a job in NJ

When I was 28: Dropping out of graduate school

When I was 33: my EX decided that being married was a drag

When I was 53: I was 'promoted' from programmer to manager

 

[W2R]

I tried to answer, but this is too depressing!

 

[Sam]

Why only 5? If I were to answer, I need at least a few pages, single space.

I tried to answer, but this is too depressing!

Ditto!

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

Nords, I don't think this is a good thread. You and I are some of the luckiest guys in the world. Our missed promotions are nothing compared to people who lost everything once or twice (fits some of our long-time posters). Let's stop here.

Ed

 

[Outtahere]

The scarey part of this thread is I can think if more things to put here than I can in CFBs

1966 Mom and Dad split (bad divorce using us kids as pawns)
1971 Mom died of uterine cancer at 35 (I was 17)
1980 Grandmom died of lung cancer at 66 (she took moms place in my life I was 26)
1985 I had to put down my horse (lump in the last two labs with this moment)
1997 Best friend was killed in a murder/suicide by her dh (damned husband)

 

[Moemg]

1980- divorce
1998-death of second husband
2002-death of son from food poisoning

Those are depressing memories !

 

[FinanceDude]

1)Mom died when I was 5 from contagious hepatitis

2)Lost at the state finals in the 800 meters after having the fastest time in the state all year, and it was my SENIOR year........

3)Getting kicked out of college for bad grades

4)Being the last person to see one of my best friends alive, before he committed suicide, and having to "fill in the gaps" with his grieving familly........

5)My sister dying last year of liver cancer.........

I could go on with failures for a long time, but my attitude has kept me going........

 

[Nords]

Nords, I don't think this is a good thread. You and I are some of the luckiest guys in the world. Our missed promotions are nothing compared to people who lost everything once or twice (fits some of our long-time posters). Let's stop here.

Re-reading this after a good night's sleep, I have to agree with you. It seemed like a good idea at the time. A few more memories were dredged up last night with spouse, too, and I'd start over.

Mods, feel free to delete or archive.

 

[FinanceDude]

Nords, I don't think this is a good thread. You and I are some of the luckiest guys in the world. Our missed promotions are nothing compared to people who lost everything once or twice (fits some of our long-time posters). Let's stop here.
Ed

Why kill it? If we want to share, we can. This is not a required response thread..........maybe we all can learn a thing or two about the other folks on here.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

It also points out a pretty good thing regarding the "5 best" evaluation. We often think on in detail about the bad parts of our lives without giving the best parts their due.

Seeing outtaheres response really reminded me of how we need to change our focus.

Theres an ER related tag here as well. Most of us stumble through our lives filled with obligations and not enough time to really evaluate who we are and what we've accomplished. In fact, most of the time the accomplishments we consider are prize wins or monetary or power gains.

I'm finding that the longer I think on this, the less that those things matter. As do the bad things.

And yeah, I'd keep the thread.

 

[Rustic23]

I too missed a promotion in the military, however, I was reminded by an O6 that did not make Admiral, 'If you stay in the service long enough, you are going to be passed over'. It's what you do after that, that counts. I can honestly say, I am happier now.

 

[FinanceDude]

I'm finding that the longer I think on this, the less that those things matter. As do the bad things.

It's NOT what happens, it's what you do AFTER the event that matters. And I think for most if not all folks on here who went through some tough times, they perservered.

No Paris Hilton types on here I would wager......

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Yeah, they're too busy losing all of their underpants.

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

i see the hesitancy here but this is as valid a question.

the deaths of loved ones.
failed friendships.
times when i was just fooling myself.
drugs, booze, cigarettes and poor eating habits.
being too judgmental & unforgiving of myself and others.

 

[Outtahere]

It's NOT what happens, it's what you do AFTER the event that matters. And I think for most if not all folks on here who went through some tough times, they perservered.

That's very true, all the moments in our lives, good or bad some how shaped us into what we are today. Moms death made me independant. Grams death pushed that independence further but she also taught me the LBYM's lifestyle that's gotten me to where I am today . My friends death showed me life's too short and enjoy every minute you have.

 

[FinanceDude]

I could post so much here, use it as a cathartic event,but I have already been down that road, so I guess as I get older I get more reflective.........

 

[CuppaJoe]

Makes me realize how really well off I am despite some bad breaks and the usual life events which include all but one of those listed above.

 

[dmpi]

When I was 28: I had to put our cat (of 18 years) down after she had a stroke.

 

[kcowan]

1. Let Brigetta get away,
2. Turned down Doctoral Fellowship at Berkely (and went to work),
3. In one quarter: changed jobs, changed cities, wife stopped working, had first child, mortgage increased by 50%, salary cut by 50% (commission), went from award-winning engineer at the top of the heap to rookie salesman, mom died...did not take drugs.
4. Did not buy 1350 feet of beachfront operating campground.
5. Delayed divorce for 9 years ("Because of the children"/denial).

As LG keeps reminding us - Life's Good!
And it is. To be honest this list was longer than the other one. I suspect this is best known as The School of Hard Knocks. Or as Kahlil Gibran says in The Prophet (to paraphrase): You cannot truly enjoy pleasure until you feel pain.

 

[CyclingInvestor]

It also points out a pretty good thing regarding the "5 best" evaluation. We often think on in detail about the bad parts of our lives without giving the best parts their due.

Interesting. I remember the high points of my life all the time, in great detail, both
large and small victories. My current favorite is from 11 months ago, when after a
long discussion I told my boss that the new work conditions (from implementing
"extreme programming") just would not work for me, and that it was time for me
to retire.

My memory of the low points is fuzzier. I intellectually remember what happened
(and have a computer log to remind me), but the feelings are lost, and the memories
rarely come up at all.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Lucky man. Many people dwell on their failures, consciously or subconsciously.

Although heres an interesting one. My primary job interview questions include "tell me about your three best job successes and what you did to make them be successful" and "tell me about the three biggest failures you experienced in your professional life and what you learned from them".

You might be rather surprised at the high percentage of people who struggle with coming up with ANY failures.

 

[Gumby]

Virtually everything I now know well or can do well is a direct result of screwing it up once. I just try not to make the same mistakes twice.

 

[W2R]

Lucky man. Many people dwell on their failures, consciously or subconsciously.

Although heres an interesting one. My primary job interview questions include "tell me about your three best job successes and what you did to make them be successful" and "tell me about the three biggest failures you experienced in your professional life and what you learned from them".

You might be rather surprised at the high percentage of people who struggle with coming up with ANY failures.

We used to make jokes about our answers to the questions regarding weaknesses or failures in job interviews. "My greatest weakness? That would have to be my drive to excel in all that I do, which can discourage my co-workers if I don't watch it. So I try to be sensitive about it."

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

"Ohhh...a bullshit artist! Well, that'll work well around here..."