Addicted to making money

[shiny]

DH and I have a plan to involves him quitting in a little less than a year. He recently told me that he is worried that he might not be able to quit because making money (especially when it is a big check like a bonus or stock option execution) feels so great that he might be addicted to it. I guess it is possible, I'm sure endorphins are involved.

Did anyone else feel this way before they quit (or is it stopping you from quitting now)?

[brewer12345]

Its a question of trade-offs. What do you have to give up to get the money and ego boost? Is it worth the trade? Maybe it is for your DH.

I can't say it is worth it for me, so I will bow out once I have sufficient capital.

[REWahoo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by brewer12345 I can't say it is worth it for me, so I will bow out once I have sufficient capital.

brewer, hadn't seen you posting today and I saw this headline on MSNBC.com a few minutes ago... "Brewer reportedly putting Rolling Rock on the block" ...and thought, so that's what he's been up to!

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Every time I see that Jack Whathisname from Brewer Financial on CNBC, I squint at 'em and wonder "Could it be...? nahh..."

[shorttimer]

You know, it never crossed my mind but this could be DH to a point. Addicted to making money. He grew up very poor and I grew up about middle class. He heard his whole life what they could not afford and the elderly in laws deprive themselves to the point of stupidity.

I am counting the minutes to be free of work. He is OK with working even when he could quit and live quite a nice lifestyle. I'll have to think about this more, thanks for bringing it up.

[SteveR]

Quote:

Originally Posted by shorttimer You know, it never crossed my mind but this could be DH to a point. Addicted to making money. He grew up very poor and I grew up about middle class.* He heard his whole life what they could not afford and the elderly in laws deprive themselves to the point of stupidity. I am counting the minutes to be free of work. He is OK with working even when he could quit and live quite a nice lifestyle. I'll have to think about this more, thanks for bringing it up.

Some folks need work to define themselves. I have found this especially in folks that were financially disadvantaged early in life. Success to them is a 8-5 job with a paycheck and living without one creates a feeling of inadequacy and loss of personal worth. My father was such a person and he really did not want to retire at 65 but it was required where he worked. He took off all of one day and then went to "work" 4 days a week doing volunteer work from 8-5 for the next 20 years. He won awards within the organization for the most hours worked per year. He had to work at something to meet some need in him.

I don't suffer from this same genetic defect. I will walk away at age 55 a full ten years before he did. My brother on the other hand..........well he may be working until he is 80 but he really likes his job and he likes the whole "working" thing.

[sgeeeee]

A lot of people seem to get more things they consider positive from working than things they consider negative. And many of them can't see enough positives from retirement that they are willing to give up the positives they get from their work. Some people would even be embarrassed to say they are retired.

If you grew up taught to value hard work, earning money to support your family, receiving recognition in the form of awards, bonuses, promotions . . . you are probably inclined to value working someplace where you are getting those things.

Early retirees are really the minority opinion on these topics.

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by shiny DH and I have a plan to involves him quitting in a little less than a year (at 39).* He recently told me that he is worried that he might not be able to quit because making money (especially when it is a big check like a bonus or* stock option execution) feels so great that he might be addicted to it.* I guess it is possible, I'm sure endorphins are involved.* Did anyone else feel this way before they quit (or* is it stopping you from quitting now)?

Is he behaving as if he's aware of this plan? Why would he want to quit if he's having such a thrilling time?

I'm sure that endorphins are involved when I see a penny lying in the street. But there aren't enough endorphins in my body to overcome the encounters that I used to have with co-workers & bosses bearing cattle prods.

Same with your spouse. He has to decide whether the thrill of another batch of ISOs beats the pain of missing quality family time or missed opportunities for significant life events or the workplace's adverse effects on his health. If he has a cattle-prod-free job like Warren Buffett's then it shouldn't be a problem.

However I get more than enough of an endorphin rush from picking up those pennies, and today it overwhelms the occasional cattle prod.

[audreyh1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by brewer12345 Its a question of trade-offs.* What do you have to give up to get the money and ego boost?* Is it worth the trade?* Maybe it is for your DH. I can't say it is worth it for me, so I will bow out once I have sufficient capital.

It's true that many people get a whole lotta ego strokes from working. That is something that kind of vanishes once you retire. Some people really struggle with the "loss of self" because their identity was so wrapped up in their role and the status of the job.

You're not only responsible for your own entertainment. You're responsible for your own ego strokes as well. Can be a tough transition!

Audrey

[shiny]

So, the reason I say "addicted" is that he says he wants to quit. He is aware of the plan and is very happy to be able to leave work so early. Its just such a rush to see a big batch of money come in (maybe this is like a hit of drugs?) that he doesn't know if he can do without it.

[brewer12345]

Quote:

Originally Posted by shiny So, the reason I say "addicted" is that he says he wants to quit.* He is aware of the plan and is very happy to be able to leave work so early.* Its just such a rush to see a big batch of money come in (maybe this is like a hit of drugs?) that he doesn't know if he can do without it.*

I think the answer to this sort of quandry is to take some time off with the mental crutch that you can always go back if you want. If you are like most people here, you quickly realize that all the great wonderful things out there in the world are a lot better than working.

[brewer12345]

Quote:

Originally Posted by REWahoo! brewer, hadn't seen you posting today and I saw this headline on MSNBC.com a few minutes ago... "Brewer reportedly putting Rolling Rock on the block" ...and thought, so that's what he's been up to!

Nah, spent the last three days sitting in a conference room at a seminar to learn stufff. Nothing that exciting, unfortunately.

[cj]

Quote:

Originally Posted by shorttimer You know, it never crossed my mind but this could be DH to a point. Addicted to making money. He grew up very poor and I grew up about middle class.* He heard his whole life what they could not afford and the elderly in laws deprive themselves to the point of stupidity. I am counting the minutes to be free of work. He is OK with working even when he could quit and live quite a nice lifestyle. I'll have to think about this more, thanks for bringing it up.

I think my DH fits this classification also.* I think he is petrified about what will happen when my paycheck stops in May.* Never mind that we spend very little of it - it mostly goes into savings.* He knows that we have enough, but then his doubts kick in and he starts to panic a bit and says we'll have to stop [pick one: cable TV, cell phones, eating out, having so many pets, etc.] because of the cost.* I have to keep referring back to the "fear and greed" section of ESRBob's book.* We have SO much money saved up, and I think he's afraid to spend any of it.* Not me!* But he likes knowing that there is money coming in.* He lives for payday.* It's not the work he likes, it's the fact that there is money coming in.* I'm thinking seriously about putting a bit of our stash into an immediate annuity so that there is some regular money coming in until we get SS.

CJ

[Dawg52]

I sometimes wonder(rarely) if I am doing the right thing about retiring in a few months. I will be 52 when I retire and in my peak earning years. But those thoughts quickly go away when I realize that there has been so much I have missed over the years by just working and not traveling and enjoying myself. I never found the right balance for some reason.

I really look forward to seeing the country and just smelling the roses. Yeah the money is nice but I have enough to cover my future needs so the decision to ER is really not that hard.

[REWahoo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by cj He knows that we have enough, but then his doubts kick in and he starts to panic a bit and says we'll have to stop [pick one: cable TV, cell phones, eating out, having so many pets, etc.] because of the cost.

I think a certain amout of this is natural. I saw my oldest brother go through something similar during his first year of retirement at age 62. He was concerned about every nickel he and my SIL spent. Once he got through the first year or so and realized his income (SS and pension) was considerably larger than his spending, he relaxed and no longer worries much about money. Now he complains about the RMD from his IRA accounts, which "forced" him to go out and pay cash for a new car.

His favorite saying is "it's only money..."

[ex_CFO_now_RVer]

Early in the wealth accumulation (working) phase of my life, the yearly profit sharing checks received provided a real adrenaline rush. *The amounts over the years increased as the business grew and became more profitable. *The last few years before I ER'ed, the profit sharing checks were very large, but I received no adrenaline rush at all. *GO FIGURE!!! *I realized I didn't need any additional $$$ and that my time was more important to me. *So I ER'ed and bought an RV.


Dave

[unclemick]

Hmmmm

Weird thing - after 1992 - I made way more than working(1966-1992) AFTER I retired.

All praise to the market history of the 90's!

Bogle's - 'Do Something, just stand there' - worked well for me.

heh heh heh

[Dawg52]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ex_CFO_now_RVer Early in the wealth accumulation (working) phase of my life, the yearly profit sharing checks received provided a real adrenaline rush. *The amounts over the years increased as the business grew and became more profitable. *The last few years before I ER'ed, the profit sharing checks were very large, but I received no adrenaline rush at all. *GO FIGURE!!! *I realized I didn't need any additional $$$ and that my time was more important to me. *So I ER'ed and bought an RV. Dave

Are you a full time rv'er? A buddy of mine just bought a brand new class A motorhome with 3 slides, 36 feet in length........I think. It really is nice. I could probably live in it. Him and his wife plan to travel for the next six months and come back south for the winters. They still own a house.

[audreyh1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by cj We have SO much money saved up, and I think he's afraid to spend any of it.* Not me!* But he likes knowing that there is money coming in.* He lives for payday.* It's not the work he likes, it's the fact that there is money coming in.*

There is a lot of psychological financial security in having a regular paycheck. *Not having it takes some getting used to even if you are well prepared to take the leap. *I know it took me a while to get used to the idea off living off my investments even though I had adequate funds. *I was anxious about our expenses for a while.

Quote:

Originally Posted by REWahoo! Once [my older brother] got through the first year or so and realized his income (SS and pension) was considerably larger than his spending, he relaxed and no longer worries much about money.* Now he complains about the RMD from his IRA accounts, which "forced" him to go out and pay cash for a new car.

LOL! *Like yeah - the IRA forces him to spend all that money! *(i.e. he's not allowed to invest it). *I love it though - he was "forced" to pay cash for a new car.

Audrey

[audreyh1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DOG51 Are you a full time rv'er?

OK - I'm not ex_CFO_now_RVer, but I am a fulltime RVer. We live very comfortably in a 36ft RV with 2 slides. It's a wonderful lifestyle. We get to wander like gypsies and stay as long as we want in any given area. We love that.

Audrey