Advice for Sister in Law

[Texas Proud]

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Originally Posted by Aiming_4_55 I don't have any personal experience with this website, but it's used to lease other people's car or post a car for lease...lease take over Worlds Largest Lease Marketplace | Swapalease.com Perhaps the OP's SIL can focus at finding employment at organizations that cater to the elderly, i.e. administrative work at a rehab facility or nursing center, senior home, etc. I recently visited my aunt at a facility offering physical therapy, majority of the workers were 50 plus.

HA.. that is the site I was talking about before!!! Clicked on it and was able to long in under my DWs friends name....

[Katsmeow]

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Originally Posted by harllee For the first time my SIL (husband's sister) has asked us for advice. I am shocked and concerned about her financial situation. She is divorced, no children, age 62 and we are her only living family. She has worked most of her life as a legal secretary (she is an excellent typist) but was laid off 6 months ago (we don't know the circumstances of the lay off). Her unemployment and severance has ended. She says she has diligently tried to find jobs (secretarial and otherwise) and has had quite a few interviews but has not gotten an offer. Evidently the market for good typists has dried up because of technology (everyone types for themselves or uses voice software).

As someone who has had a legal secretary I would agree with part of this, but not all of it. Yes, most offices don't employ as many as they used to. Back in the day, there was usually 1 secretary per 2 lawyers (a few partners had a non-shared secretary but that wasn't common). Now there can be several lawyers assigned to a secretary.

When I was still working in my office I used my secretary even though I did type most of my work myself. I was great on writing and typing. Not so much on formatting. So pretty much everything that was going to go to someone else (court, client, another attorney, etc.) would be cleaned up and finalized by my secretary.

She would do work maintaining the file. She would keep track of deadlines which is very important. She would know how to calculate deadlines. You mentioned that you didn't think your SIL knew Excel or Power Point. I would be surprised if she didn't. Legal secretaries I knew certainly knew the basic. Yes, a paralegal might know more but basics were done by the legal secretary.

I would think that a lot of her skills would in fact be transferrable. That said, I do agree that there are fewer of these types of jobs than in the past. But, I doubt it is really her age. The key there is saying that she has gotten interviews but not been hired. I wonder if there is something more going on (not sure what). I also wonder if she is selling herself short and not presenting her skills as well as she can.

Agree about seeking temp work and any kind of minimum wage work that she can get. You mention she has a dog. Could she do dog walking or pet sitting? Could she work in a dog kennel?

Having said all that...I do have somewhat of a feeling that she isn't facing reality in terms of cutting her expenses. There are things she can do to drastically cut expenses. She isn't doing them. I am sure she hopes to find a job and that those things won't be necessary. The reality is that she needs to cut expenses drastically now since she needs to save money even if she does find a job. But, you can't solve this problem for her...

[harllee]

Katsmeow, thanks for all the suggestions. I agree with everything you said. SIL did not get the part time retail job she interviewed for last week. She is getting interviews but no offers.
So I agree that something goes wrong in her interview or with her references. There is a local women's organization in SIL's town that helps women finds jobs, helps with interviews, etc and they are having a seminar in job search skills. We have sent SIL the info about the seminar but SIL has quit responding to us. Maybe she is tired of hearing all our suggestions. As you said, we can't solve the problem for her...

[braumeister]

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Originally Posted by harllee SIL has quit responding to us. Maybe she is tired of hearing all our suggestions.

Then by all means back off and stop all attempts to suggest anything until she asks again. Otherwise you will never be able to help her, as she will become overly defensive.

[ivinsfan]

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Originally Posted by braumeister Then by all means back off and stop all attempts to suggest anything until she asks again. Otherwise you will never be able to help her, as she will become overly defensive.

I kind of agree but in fact stress and maybe anxiety problems can cause people to just lock up and not be able to more forward. It can also make them not realize how dire the situation actually is.

Just stay in contact, don't mention money until she brings it up first. Have lunch or do normal stuff with her.

I mentioned in my first comment here, that if any of the stressors are in play it helps to focus on just one smaller thing the person can do to improve things instead of the shotgun approach where you are trying to fix everything at the same time. Kind of like the Dave Ramsey approach where you make a small positive effort to correct one thing, get satisfaction from it and then move on to another.

Don't press her too much or you and your husband might suddenly become the problem and the target of anger, don't ask me how I know this...!

Back off a little for now.

[Dash man]

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Originally Posted by aja8888 I'll bet the insurance is comparable to the minimum ACA requirements. Granddaughter had similar when she worked for a retailer before she graduated college. Better than nothing, but came with a $6750 deductible.

My son and daughter in law both have worked for Starbucks for years. The insurance in quite good.

[OldShooter]

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Originally Posted by ivinsfan I kind of agree but in fact stress and maybe anxiety problems can cause people to just lock up and not be able to more forward. It can also make them not realize how dire the situation actually is. ...

Absolutely true. I have seen it repeatedly over the years both with business issues and personal issues, including my own. It is very difficult to overcome.

When humans are faced with choosing the least undesirable alternative from a list where all options are undesirable, they freeze and cling to the status quo, even to the point of riding it down the drain.

Not to interject politics, just to observe the psychology, I think this is where Israel is and has been for years. Frozen from facing nothing but unattractive options.

[ivinsfan]

oldshooter a great point, when no option seems like a good option, people, governments, families, churches you name it, just stick to the present because making a big move or a wrong move seems overwhelming...

[Milton]

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Originally Posted by Katsmeow As someone who has had a legal secretary I would agree with part of this, but not all of it. Yes, most offices don't employ as many as they used to. Back in the day, there was usually 1 secretary per 2 lawyers (a few partners had a non-shared secretary but that wasn't common). Now there can be several lawyers assigned to a secretary.

I don't know what sort of firm you worked at, but the above doesn't mirror my experience. While I had to share a secretary as an articled clerk and then as a very junior lawyer, from two years out I always had my own secretary ... and that was neither uncommon nor all that long ago.

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Originally Posted by Katsmeow When I was still working in my office I used my secretary even though I did type most of my work myself. I was great on writing and typing.

That's an unproductive use of a lawyer's time. You should have learned to dictate.

[pb4uski]

During my career I both dictated and typed myself.... in the end I found it much easier to just type myself rather than dictate a draft and then edit the draft to my liking. In my case typing sort of became an integral part of the creative process. Mind you I was writing detailed technical documents in many cases similar to certain legal documents and not boilerplate.

[harllee]

OP here, I have checked with some lawyers friends and they tell me legal secretaries are almost nonexistent in their law firms. If there is a legal secretary, such secretary is shared by 5 or 6 attorneys or there is a word processing pool for long documents. Most of the lawyers type shorter documents themselves or use computer software that types dictation. Only the most senior attorneys have their own secretary.

[rayvt]

I had a mentor once training us in a career field (dealing with people). He said one thing that has stuck with me ever since.

"The people you are dealing with have problems of one sort or another, Everybody has problems. Don't make THEIR problem YOUR problem."

Once a person has asked for help & advice, and they've rejected every bit of sound advice you've given them, it's a sign that they are not actually interested in your advice. Wish them well and step away.

[Katsmeow]

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Originally Posted by Milton I don't know what sort of firm you worked at, but the above doesn't mirror my experience. While I had to share a secretary as an articled clerk and then as a very junior lawyer, from two years out I always had my own secretary ... and that was neither uncommon nor all that long ago. That's an unproductive use of a lawyer's time. You should have learned to dictate.

Where I was sharing a secretary between 2 attorneys was very common at most firms that I dealt with, not must my own. Maybe it was regional.

As for dictating, I did dictate for many years. Even up until the time I semi-retired and started working from home I still dictated some things. For many things however I found it easier to just type it myself in rough form, letting my secretary do all the formatting. Of course, that was once every attorney had a computer with Word on it at our desk and I was very proficient in using it. By then (2010) most of the younger lawyers had never dictated anything in their life. Most literally had no idea of how to do it. I suggested once to a young attorney that he should dictate the particular thing he was working on and he looked at me like I had grown two heads.

[aja8888]

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Originally Posted by Dash man My son and daughter in law both have worked for Starbucks for years. The insurance in quite good.

So what's "quite good"?

What state? As you probably know, ACA plans vary depending on a lot of factors.

[harllee]

Op here. SIL did tell DH today that she does have a health insurance policy from the ACA with "0" premiums. I am sure the deductible is high but at least she has health insurance.

[pb4uski]

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Originally Posted by aja8888 So what's "quite good"? What state? As you probably know, ACA plans vary depending on a lot of factors.

He's referring to the Starbuck's employee health insurance plan... ACA does not apply and it does not vary by state.