Advice Needed

[dshawg77]

I am writing this probably as a therapeutic exercise. I apologize if I am in the wrong forum. I definitely would like to remain private.

I just want to give a little background and see what you would do.

Divorced-no kids. Divorce wasn't completely mutual, but good for both parties. I have a current gf for 5 years or so, getting close to getting married. I should probably take legal precautions with a prenup, but she is a good girl (I know, I know...) and she has no money for an attorney which will just invalidate the prenup anyways.

Anyways..the love life is not the purpose of my post, not too worried about that.

I am 37 and live in a high cost area-rent is $2500 or so and live in a moderate apartment.

I do own a rental which used to be primary residence that is rented through a mgmt. company and I am just focusing on paying that off if possible. Only have $50K or so max equity. Cash flow is very negative due to the accelerated payments.

I have $400K in stocks, mutual funds, savings, bank accounts.
I have $400K (roughly, a little less actually) in retirement.

I have another $25-50K perhaps in a value of a part-time business I own. Value is after taxes.

I have $25K or so in other valuables (collectibles, autos, etc.)

Being in a high cost area, I would like to buy something, but will probably require $50K out of pocket.

I would love to take a little time off but very worried about impact to financials and long term strategy. I am also worried about leaving workforce. I do believe I can say for family reasons and be okay though.....

What are your thoughts?

[Meadbh]

Welcome. The rental property is a money pit. I suggest you sell it.

[AnIntentionalRoad]

Welcome! You come to the right place for free opinions. So I'll start. :-)

Two more pieces of info would help. What are your annual expenses, roughly? And, is your job one where it is hard to explain time off? For instance many executive positions it is frowned on to have extended time since your last position. Might indicate a lack of dedication to MegaCorp to try to have a life. Others, such as software, it is very common in certain areas to take career breaks or move between employment and contracting work.

Generally though with more than 800k in liquid assets at your age, why not take a little time off? Or even try a new career or semi-retirement, if you are ultra-frugal.

Some software programmers work a 4-6 month contract each year and then take the rest off to enjoy life. If you already have a nice nest egg saved up, then it is even better.

[Koolau]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnIntentionalRoad Welcome! You come to the right place for free opinions... <SNIP>)

AND worth every penny you pay for the advice!

But seriously, I can't even identify with the concept of "taking some time off" in early or mid c@reer. There are ways to string vacation together ( in some cases). One time, I took "last year's" total vacation" and strung it together with "this year's" vacation to more-or-less double my time away from w*rk. Just a thought.

My thinking is that you are actually in pretty good shape for Early Retirement. If you've gone through a divorce and managed to save $800K by 37, that's very good in most circles. If you are thinking you might need $2mil to $4mil to ER, I'm guessing that's doable if you are very careful, wise and a bit lucky. Maybe within 15 years. If you could set your sites on a much less expensive area to retire, you might find that $1mil to $2mil would be enough.

For the truly "young" retiree (I'll suggest less than 50) the single biggest issue could be health care costs/insurance. ACA is NOT settled (just my humble opinion) nor do we know what it will actually cost. With that in mind, I'd build in a lot of "fat" for it in your planning.

Let's hear more questions and/or more specifics (the request for your expenses is the biggie.)

Keep in mind, even though some of us have done it, ER is an individual thing and we are NOT experts - just test animals for now. As always, YMMV.

[jerome len]

gift your GF a $1000 for a lawyer to review a pre-nup........you never know someone until you've been married a few years.......I have one, updated it a few years ago.....it protects my DW as well as myself.

[LendingWire]

You've got enough money as long as you don't want some lavish vacation. It's your money, and if you want to you could afford to take some out of your bank accounts. Divorces are always hard and there's no point in exchanging money for your happiness. Don't take too much time off, but taking a small break would probably be for the best. 37 is still a long ways of from retirement, so you have time to get your savings back.

[Richard4444]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dshawg77 I should probably take legal precautions with a prenup, but she is a good girl (I know, I know...) and she has no money for an attorney which will just invalidate the prenup anyways.

I believe that even your paying outright her attorney would not invalidate a prenup.

[pb4uski]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jerome len gift your GF a $1000 for a lawyer to review a pre-nup........you never know someone until you've been married a few years.......I have one, updated it a few years ago.....it protects my DW as well as myself.

+1 good idea.

[dshawg77]

Thanks for all the kind responses.

I would def do a prenup (even though that wasn't main point of thread) but heard what someone eluded to already. If they don't have funds and if it is gifted, it still can get thrown out after spending $5-$8k, no thanks. Nuts. No wonder people think attorneys are ruthless.


A long vakay would be nice and I do have a part-time business that would keep me from starving..I think there is something to be said about choosing to take a break...I just can't find the courage to do it.


After the plunge in financial stocks in the past week, maybe I should postpone anyways

Bank stocks will regroup eventually, just gotta hang in there. Bad news from $BAC today but eventually regulations and lawsuits will ease...

[dvalley]

I'm 39, also divorced (expensive one) with about only half of what you have. I'm planning to retire in 10 years (about 50) when my kid is in (or through) college. I'm shooting for 1.2-1.5M. So while it's a bit iffy whether I'll reach my goal or not you're well ahead of the game. I'd say take a week or so off every six months for another few years until you're well into the $1.5M range then decide if you want to take a sabbatical or a career change. Of course, that's what I would do but then the details of the situations are always different for example you may just have had it enough with your current work to GTFO right now

[pb4uski]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dshawg77 ...I would def do a prenup (even though that wasn't main point of thread) but heard what someone eluded to already. If they don't have funds and if it is gifted, it still can get thrown out after spending $5-$8k, no thanks. Nuts. No wonder people think attorneys are ruthless.....

Talk with your lawyer, but as long as GF selects competent counsel and you are not involved or influence her representation, I don't see how the fact that you gave her a gift to pay for representation would taint the prenup. That said, anyone can claim anything, but what is important is whether they have a chance of prevailing.

[dshawg77]

Lawyers suck and divorce sucks more. Don't get me wrong, I have my hesitations getting married again.