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Old 01-09-2008, 06:37 PM   #21
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After the kids get to school age a lot women get so board at home they want to work. Just what does she do with her spare time? Does she have a lot of friends?
What others have said here is correct, if it's just about the money I don't think this would be an issue.
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Old 01-09-2008, 06:38 PM   #22
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You will certainly have to adjust your ER schedule when she files for divorce. Which she will after you give her this proposal.
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Old 01-09-2008, 06:40 PM   #23
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i say keep telling her to go to work and if at first you dont suceed try try a gun.
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Old 01-09-2008, 06:42 PM   #24
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Hey, if you have a wife that cooks, cleans, runs the house and takes care of the kids what else do you need.

Suggestion - Before you do anything think about it, take an as·pi·rin , take a nap, if you drink take a swallow of some Jim Bean, and then listen to the GREAT ENGELBERT HUMPERDINCK song "After The Lovin'", before you make any rash decisions that you may regret.


It may be cheaper to keep her.

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Old 01-09-2008, 06:51 PM   #25
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But seriously. You are saving 70% so it doesnt seem like you are strapped for cash. And she is the mother of your children..
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Old 01-09-2008, 07:06 PM   #26
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HK, you have a very black and white view of the world. You say you love your wife, but the tone of your post makes me really wonder. It's all about dollars. And if you must put it in economic terms, consider the value of the complex and valuable work that your wife does: managing the home and raising children. There have been many economic studies of the financial value of this work. In 2006, Salary.com valued the work of a full time stay at home mom at $134,121 per annum. If your wife did not do this work, who would?

Personally I think you need to give your head a shake. You got it GOOD, man!

What Is Mom Worth? Working Mom Vs. Stay At Home Mom
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Old 01-09-2008, 07:17 PM   #27
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i agree w/ the consensus here - I think you are very stressed out but perhaps out of sync with the reality of the situation.

come over to my house, see the pile of dishes and laundry and you will see what happens when a you have two working parents - then deduct child care (we don't pay any cuz of my parents help) and prob some loss in emotional or educational development in your kids if they don't get as much attention as they do now...

i come near a personal breakdown a couple times a year, the feminists had it wrong (not their fault) we can't do it all and doing it all SUCKS!

if your home is well kept, kids are happy and safe - you should start working on being grateful!

if you are saving 70% of your income, than she at least is not squandering it away...be grateful for that too...

you are seeing your side only, that takes the "relate" out of relationship...
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Old 01-09-2008, 07:22 PM   #28
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It sounds like you're focusing too much on making and saving $. This focus may be the source of your anger and perceived notion that your wife is not contributing financially to your marriage. It seems that your wife is enjoying life. Maybe you should stop and smell the roses as well. Perhaps counseling would help, but I don't believe a counselor would recommend your plan.
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Old 01-09-2008, 07:47 PM   #29
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Like what others have said, if money is not the issue, why are you resenting her desire of not working? A relationship is all about sharing, giving and caring for each other. It's not about contributing your fair share. It's also about respect -- respecting her desire not to work. Even though she is not bringing income to the household, she contributes significantly. She provides emotional support and comfort. She takes care of the children and the house. IMHO, get over that fact that she needs to contribute financially or engage in a healthy and open communication with your wife about your discontent and work out a solution.
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Old 01-09-2008, 07:56 PM   #30
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I am going to disagree with just about every person who has posted in this forum.

You should divorce your wife immediately!

The longer you wait the more it will cost you. Fight for custody of the kids and you can enjoy raising them and not pay child support.

Your wife is being parasitic. It was understandable when the kids were home, but now she should be expected to work at least part time while the kids are at school. It is wrong of her to not try to ease your burden.

I will have to disagree with everyone saying how hard her job is. If her job was really hard, then there would not be so many single people who are able to hold down jobs, cook, clean, do laundry, and grocery shop. The fact is that her job probably requires about 10-15 hours of real work a week. Since the kids are at work most of the time the kids are home the OP is probably home too!

The idea that a mom's job is worth $100,000+ a year is ridiculous. Salary.com did that as a feel-good political move. I would expect more from a financial forum. If a SAHM was really worth $100,000 then they would be paid $100,000 on the open market. Furthermore, saying that a SAHM is comparable to a CEO or an accountant is ludicrous. That is like comparing an average joe to an engineer when he changes a light bulb. If a SAHM functions as a CEO, then a recommend this guys wife to go apply to be the CEO of Wal-Mart and all these problems will go away.
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Old 01-09-2008, 08:00 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by GP0S3Y View Post
I am going to disagree with just about every person who has posted in this forum.

You should divorce your wife immediately!

The longer you wait the more it will cost you. Fight for custody of the kids and you can enjoy raising them and not pay child support.

Your wife is being parasitic. It was understandable when the kids were home, but now she should be expected to work at least part time while the kids are at school. It is wrong of her to not try to ease your burden.

I will have to disagree with everyone saying how hard her job is. If her job was really hard, then there would not be so many single people who are able to hold down jobs, cook, clean, do laundry, and grocery shop. The fact is that her job probably requires about 10-15 hours of real work a week. Since the kids are at work most of the time the kids are home the OP is probably home too!

The idea that a mom's job is worth $100,000+ a year is ridiculous. Salary.com did that as a feel-good political move. I would expect more from a financial forum. If a SAHM was really worth $100,000 then they would be paid $100,000 on the open market. Furthermore, saying that a SAHM is comparable to a CEO or an accountant is ludicrous. That is like comparing an average joe to an engineer when he changes a light bulb. If a SAHM functions as a CEO, then a recommend this guys wife to go apply to be the CEO of Wal-Mart and all these problems will go away.

Let me guess ? You are in your 20's and single !
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Old 01-09-2008, 08:04 PM   #32
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Let me guess ? You are in your 20's and single !
Ya that was a strange 1st post.
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Old 01-09-2008, 08:07 PM   #33
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WOW (if serious); ROTFLMAO (if a troll).
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Old 01-09-2008, 08:12 PM   #34
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Your wife should dump your ass now and take 1/2...
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Old 01-09-2008, 08:20 PM   #35
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Ladies and gentlemen- do we have a troll here?

If so, I think he caught at least a limit, maybe two.
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Old 01-09-2008, 08:25 PM   #36
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Really ?

Psssst - Wellesley.

And you can quote me on that!

heh heh heh - To curmudgeon or not to curmudgeon that is the question - whether it is nobler to ---------- .
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Old 01-09-2008, 08:27 PM   #37
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Really ?

Psssst - Wellesley.

And you can quote me on that! .
Huh?
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Old 01-09-2008, 08:31 PM   #38
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Ladies and gentlemen- do we have a troll here?
Regardless if he is a troll or not. I decided a while ago that while I am delighted to dispense advise, and more than willing to charge exactly what is worth 0... even I have standards. Poster with one post don't get more than one paragraph.
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Old 01-09-2008, 08:39 PM   #39
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Huh?
You know how Joe Biden said that Rudy G. only mentions 3 things in a sentence: a noun, a verb, and 9/11. Likewise, virtually every post by unclemick has "pssst - wellesley" in some form or another.

- Alec
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Old 01-09-2008, 08:44 PM   #40
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GP0S3Y may be right if the entire relationship is based purely on money. Consider the real issue - what does money mean to you and your wife? Why is it so important? Is it freedom to pursue other interests? Is it for security? Is it more important than friendship? Put serious time and effort in developing a financial management plan that is mutually agreeable.
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