Your plan is to walk away from your job and let the chips fall where they fall? That's a plan that might get you into big trouble. It's more like shooting yourself in your foot financially and domestically. (And you just inched back into the troll category in my mind.)
Before you unveil your plan to her, spend a weekend away from the kids on a romantic get-a-way and unburden your heart and discomfort to her. How about you try to reconnect with your wife and explain to her that the roles she and you have morphed into during the marriage are causing you a lot of angst; that your job really sucks and you need her to be more supportive of you; that you want to spend more family time with your children and her; and that you would like her to be more compromising in her roles. Tell her you love her passionately and don't want to live without her, but that you find it very difficult to be in this relationship that appears to be sucking you dry and you can't stand it! I wouldn't even mention FIRE or money.
This isn't about FIRE or money -- it's about the roles you have morphed into. Good luck and I'm outta here with advice.
Before you unveil your plan to her, spend a weekend away from the kids on a romantic get-a-way and unburden your heart and discomfort to her. How about you try to reconnect with your wife and explain to her that the roles she and you have morphed into during the marriage are causing you a lot of angst; that your job really sucks and you need her to be more supportive of you; that you want to spend more family time with your children and her; and that you would like her to be more compromising in her roles. Tell her you love her passionately and don't want to live without her, but that you find it very difficult to be in this relationship that appears to be sucking you dry and you can't stand it! I wouldn't even mention FIRE or money.
This isn't about FIRE or money -- it's about the roles you have morphed into. Good luck and I'm outta here with advice.