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Are there any couples jointly participating on the ER forum?
Old 07-30-2013, 11:12 AM   #1
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Are there any couples jointly participating on the ER forum?

Something I've been wondering for a while...for those of you who are married or partnered, are there any couples where both members are participating in the ER forum together, either using the same screen name or both having individual screen names?

The reason I wonder is that I see a lot of us sharing somewhat personal information about our spouses and partners, often to seek advice from others, and I wonder if this information is being shared with the spouse/partner, or if the forum is being used primarily to seek opinions without the spouse/partner knowing about it.

And, is there anyone who would be reasonably concerned if their spouse/partner learned what their screen name was and began reading their posts?

I generally keep myself logged in, so I suppose if my partner wanted to know what I was writing about it would be easy enough to figure out, so I guess I have not been sharing anyone that I would be overly concerned about. Just wondering what others are doing.
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Old 07-30-2013, 12:08 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ready View Post
Something I've been wondering for a while...for those of you who are married or partnered, are there any couples where both members are participating in the ER forum together, either using the same screen name or both having individual screen names?

The reason I wonder is that I see a lot of us sharing somewhat personal information about our spouses and partners, often to seek advice from others, and I wonder if this information is being shared with the spouse/partner, or if the forum is being used primarily to seek opinions without the spouse/partner knowing about it.

And, is there anyone who would be reasonably concerned if their spouse/partner learned what their screen name was and began reading their posts?

I generally keep myself logged in, so I suppose if my partner wanted to know what I was writing about it would be easy enough to figure out, so I guess I have not been sharing anyone that I would be overly concerned about. Just wondering what others are doing.
My sweetie has an account here, but has only posted about 5-10 times and nothing substantial or extensive even then. I suspect that he thinks it would be awkward since I am volunteering as an admin these days. I have encouraged him to post more but he spends his time on forums related to his hobbies instead. He used to read this forum regularly, but apparently only reads it sporadically now if at all.

I don't mind if he reads anything I post about him. Although I say whatever I want to about him here, there hasn't really been anything that he would object to.
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Old 07-30-2013, 01:09 PM   #3
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DH is online all the time. He's the retired one but he does not frequent any sites having to do with retirement, investing, money management, finances, taxes, household management or any of the other interesting topics here. Money topics make him itchy and queasy.

I talk about ER.org and I suppose I would be easy enough to find if he wanted to.

I've found that even though we share on internet account, our internets are very different.
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Old 07-30-2013, 03:23 PM   #4
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Martha and her husband used to both post here, but I haven't seen either of them post recently.
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Old 07-30-2013, 05:15 PM   #5
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Although she was the one who RE a couple of years ago my DW has no interest in the forum. She does Facebook and I do this site. I guess she already met her goal and wants me to stay focused!
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Old 07-30-2013, 05:21 PM   #6
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I wouldn't be concerned about my DH reading anything I wrote. And he knows I post here.
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Old 07-30-2013, 05:51 PM   #7
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DH takes no interest and no responsibility for allocation of $$$ or investment - just trusts that I will not do anything wrong. Although welcome, he would be bored out of his brain reading my posts.

This is one of the reasons I appreciate this forum.
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Old 07-30-2013, 07:42 PM   #8
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I think I'm much like you... I don't log out each time, so I guess I must not be too worried about it. DW pretty much doesn't want to engage in finances or planning for ER. Which is fine, I think, but I do wonder if she is going to have a hard time in retirement - because she's mostly ready to be done with work, I think - and I don't know that she is ready to figure out what to do instead of work.

Ooops, did I just write a post that would tick my spouse off?
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Old 07-30-2013, 08:12 PM   #9
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We both enjoy reading,and occasionally posting. We often find ourselves talking about a thread or sharing ideas
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Old 07-30-2013, 09:41 PM   #10
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Not-Really-Mrs.-Redduck (a term I recently coined) knows about the ER Forum, but does not directly participate. However, she has suggested at times that I ask you folks for information, opinions, ideas, re: finances. Lately, she's been suggesting I ask you folks about a lot more than financial stuff. It's like she doesn't completely trust me to get things right on my own. (I don't take it personally). So, anyway, the last time we did this was the thread:
Did she go to the obgyn school of investing?
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Old 07-30-2013, 10:25 PM   #11
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When I first discovered this forum, I tried to get my wife involved, but her interest faded after just an hour of surfing. She never signed up.

Now, whenever she sees me smile at my computer screen, she would say "what joke are you posting now?".
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Old 07-30-2013, 10:28 PM   #12
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I have had my DH read parts of some threads or I have read them to him. He is not too interested in most of it. He likes looking at the pictures of classic cars that people post. He is more than welcome to read anything that I have ever posted.
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Old 07-31-2013, 12:20 AM   #13
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DH knows I am on the forum. I tell him about some thread discussions that I think he might be interested in but he doesn't seem interested to come to the forum himself.
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Old 07-31-2013, 01:43 AM   #14
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DH knows I am on the forum. I tell him about some thread discussions that I think he might be interested in but he doesn't seem interested to come to the forum himself.
Ditto
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Old 07-31-2013, 04:28 AM   #15
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DH knows I am on the forum. I tell him about some thread discussions that I think he might be interested in but he doesn't seem interested to come to the forum himself.
Same with my DW
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Old 07-31-2013, 06:32 AM   #16
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My DW doesn't participate but she knows I am on and has my screen name and password so can see anything I post. I tell her about threads but she rarely looks. She is glad that I am on since she really wants me to ER, and anything I do towards that goal is goodness in her eyes.

Generally speaking we don't hide anything from each other.. we both know each others email and Facebook passwords, and though I do all the finances she has access to all of the accounts. She trusts me and I appreciate that.
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Old 07-31-2013, 06:50 AM   #17
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DH knows I am on the forum. I tell him about some thread discussions that I think he might be interested in but he doesn't seem interested to come to the forum himself.
Ditto for my DW. I have sent her links to threads that involve a topic I think she would be interested in. We do most things together but following blogs or forums is not her thing.
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Old 07-31-2013, 08:47 AM   #18
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I frequently quote E-R to DH but he has no interest in being on the forum.

And the one time when I asked advice on how to curb his spendthrift ways I shared with him what I was posting before I hit send and then shared your advice as it came in.

It was very helpful to us in resolving that one difficult area in our long marriage since the advice came from independent people who don't know either of us.
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Old 07-31-2013, 08:47 AM   #19
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DW has absolutely no interest in our $$ situation. I guess it's complete trust. When I start a conversation about anything to do with finances she stares right thru me and I know I'm just wasting my breath. Actually, even if she's not actively listening, it's good for me to verbalize my thoughts to someone.

I've been combing the EROrg site for over 10 years and I'm quite sure she's never even read a single post. Good things opposites attract.
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Old 07-31-2013, 09:48 AM   #20
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That sounds like my wife.

To a certain extent, I'm here because my wife isn't going to talk about this stuff.
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