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Old 05-29-2010, 10:02 AM   #41
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In 1974 DH and I got married in my parent's living room. Afterwards we went to dinner with the immediate family and a few friends. The restaurant was a local "Steak and Ale" type place. There were about 15 people there. I think the total bill was about $400. No regrets.
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Old 05-29-2010, 10:26 AM   #42
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Our cost of the wedding back in 86 was less than $1,000 (or $2,033 in 2011 dollars). That included a church ceremony, dinner and dance for 25 people.
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Old 05-29-2010, 10:41 AM   #43
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In 1974 DH and I got married in my parent's living room. Afterwards we went to dinner with the immediate family and a few friends. The restaurant was a local "Steak and Ale" type place. There were about 15 people there. I think the total bill was about $400. No regrets.
I love this story--and your wedding was twice as lavish as DH's and mine in 1972. We were married in the church's living room with 6 guests but we did invite the minister and his wife to the dinner afterward so I think that bumped up the reception costs to maybe $150 (several cocktails were involved as DH had just finished his Army service two days before so it was quite the celebration ).
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Old 05-29-2010, 10:54 AM   #44
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Of course, they gave us some money to help defray part of the costs of the added extravagance and bloated guest list, but DW and I still ended up paying more than we would have liked out of pocket.
Boy this puts a different spin on this whole thing. That would really annoy me!

When DEXW and I married I wanted to do it in the LA County Courthouse. My brides parents nixed that, but they did pay for the modifications that they wanted. I was maybe going too far.

Ha
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Old 05-29-2010, 11:21 AM   #45
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I think most of the younger generation has made the leap to having just a cell phone. They've decided that it is the home phone that is unneccessary.

I'm with them. I haven't had anything but a cell phone for about 6 years.
That's what I do. Also my employer pays for it. Actually I make a small profit off of it, because the extra pay I get for the cell phone is more than my cell phone bill... Downside is that I am on call 24-7/365.
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Old 05-29-2010, 11:51 AM   #46
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I can't help the LBYM comment. I never tire of telling my daughters that their mother's wedding dress cost $10.75 (in 1970). I thought it looked very nice.
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Old 05-29-2010, 11:58 AM   #47
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I'd say there have been some selfish/spoiled kids in every generation as long as there have been parents (didn't Socrates make some comments about that?) As we get richer, our kids have stuff that we never had, and they don't "appreciate it" as much as we think they should.

But I think the wedding trend is interesting. Average age at first marriage is going up. So some couples are in a position to pay more of the expense themselves. In fact, I know cases where it appears they lived together and deferred marriage just so they could have a nicer wedding.

Maybe it's watching some variation on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. Maybe it's living for "experiences".
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Old 05-29-2010, 12:02 PM   #48
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So can I assume from this that you don't actually have a cell phone? I don't have one either, and I can honestly say that I don't know anyone who doesn't have one other than myself. I love the looks I get when people ask me for my cell number and I tell them I don't have one. What? Isn't a home number and a work number enough? I don't understand how people like our student workers and entry level employees have cell phones at 50 to 100 per month and consider it a necessity rather than a convenience. I know there are people who "need" a cell phone. My wife has one for her work and it truly is a necessity, but at least Megacorp is paying for it. She says when she quits working, the cell phone is history.
I do technically own a cell phone. It is a freebie from tracfone. I get a new free one every two months and keep the same phone number by hooking it up to my google voice account ph number. But the phone stays in the glove compartment in the car and I forget to charge the battery every week so it is dead half the time. I look at it as an emergency phone in case my 10 year old car dies on the side of the road with me and my two young children in it. Cheaper than getting a more reliable car. I'm still holding out that my employer will provide me with a free or subsidized cell phone to make me a more productive employee.

I do have a land line (well VOIP via vonage) and a cheapo prepaid tracfone for DW that runs about $70 a year (keeping it activated keeps me in free phones). Of the young people I know, at least three quarters still have land lines I would say. Typically as the family gets larger (marriage then kids), the need/desire for a landline increases. Landlines still have the best call quality and least dropped calls (in general), and unlimited talk time for a low price. Hence the attractiveness. It also allows people to downgrade the cell service by a few hundred mins a month and save a bunch. I am the only person my age I know that doesn't actively use a cell phone (well, besides DW who uses it maybe 10 minutes a month). There are two other professional guys at work who share the company loaner cell phone but both are older.
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Old 05-29-2010, 12:09 PM   #49
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They invited many of their friends and business acquaintances whom we had never met and kinda turned the whole thing into a PR operation for their own benefit if you ask me. Of course, they gave us some money to help defray part of the costs of the added extravagance and bloated guest list, but DW and I still ended up paying more than we would have liked out of pocket.
Wow, I would have been a little irritated at this if the amounts of money involved were significant. We had a significant amount of "guest list inflation" due to DW's parents making it clear that literally everyone in the local asian community and their brother was welcome, but the cost was roughly offset by cash gifts given by the additional guests. Hardly anyone at the wedding knew who we were. Very few congratulated me since they didn't know me or recognize me. I think we snuck out fairly early, not that anyone noticed!

We were tired since we had stayed up late the night before the wedding so we could go to the courthouse at 12:01 am the day of the wedding ceremony to get legally married in front of the magistrate at the county jail. Which was a little crazy until the magistrate recognized me from Boy Scouts many years earlier and went out of his way to really hook us up with a nice civil ceremony in the classiest spot available in the whole jail (or "Public Safety Annex" as I think it is called).
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Old 05-29-2010, 12:13 PM   #50
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When I proposed my FIL to be took aside his daughter and said "I'll give you $4k to elope." Truly a thrifty man. Makes me look like a spendthrift.

We didn't elope. But we did keep our 1994 wedding to about $4k.

Put me down for one that uses a tracfone. Costs me about $100 per year. Have it primarily for coordinating with the wife on who is picking up the kids, and emergencies. Wouldn't want to use a cell any more than that. I am happy with my landline.
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Old 05-29-2010, 12:26 PM   #51
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Wow, I would have been a little irritated at this if the amounts of money involved were significant.
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Boy this puts a different spin on this whole thing. That would really annoy me!
I was annoyed. But when I tried to push back, DW found herself in the line of fire. So, for her sake, I shut my mouth and ponied up the money. The money involved was significant for us at the time but, in the grand scheme of things, it was only a small price to pay to keep the peace.
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Old 05-29-2010, 02:29 PM   #52
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Put me down for one that uses a tracfone. Costs me about $100 per year. Have it primarily for coordinating with the wife on who is picking up the kids, and emergencies. Wouldn't want to use a cell any more than that. I am happy with my landline.
We have pre-paid cell phones for emergencies. Every three months, we load $25 in them. I don't think I have used mine in the last 6 months.

As far as the wedding -- ~$3k in 1984, paid for by my young bride's parents. The budget was determined and communicated to her ahead of time. She designed and made her own dress, all the bridesmaids' dresses and her mother's dress (she was a fashion designer before we married). The bouquet she tossed was the one she carried, not a substitute. The cake was large enough for everyone to have a piece (there were about 100 guests), but not overly elaborate. While there was a photographer, it was stills only, no video. We got married in the morning, so the reception would be lunch instead of dinner. Not only was the food cheaper, people drank less from the bar. Music was a three piece jazz combo. The "limo" from the church to the reception hall was a neighbor's Volkswagen van. We had no wedding tchotchkes. It was inexpensive, but a great day nonetheless. For years afterward, people who had been there would comment on how lovely a wedding it was.

Of course, all this thrift was my young wife's doing. I had absolutely nothing to do with the plans, since I was deployed for 5 months, returning only the day before the wedding. When I showed up at her house Friday evening, she said "Here's your tux, see you tomorrow". I did and said "I do" and that was my sole contribution.

I think if people would set a budget ahead of time and be willing to make choices, they can have a very nice wedding at a reasonable price.
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Old 05-29-2010, 02:59 PM   #53
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When I proposed my FIL to be took aside his daughter and said "I'll give you $4k to elope." Truly a thrifty man. Makes me look like a spendthrift.

We didn't elope. But we did keep our 1994 wedding to about $4k.
My in-laws, hardly made of money, nevertheless insisted on giving us a $1,000 wedding present as a way of thanking us for getting married by a district justice in a county park with the "reception" held at the in-laws' house -- a wedding only a devoted cheapskate could really love.

But more than 18 years later, we're still together and more in love than ever, and many $100,000 weddings end in $100,000 divorces a couple years later.
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Old 05-29-2010, 04:22 PM   #54
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So can I assume from this that you don't actually have a cell phone? I don't have one either, and I can honestly say that I don't know anyone who doesn't have one other than myself. I love the looks I get when people ask me for my cell number and I tell them I don't have one. What? Isn't a home number and a work number enough? I don't understand how people like our student workers and entry level employees have cell phones at 50 to 100 per month and consider it a necessity rather than a convenience. I know there are people who "need" a cell phone. My wife has one for her work and it truly is a necessity, but at least Megacorp is paying for it. She says when she quits working, the cell phone is history.
There is a safety issue with a cell phone if your car breaks down, you can call for help rather than possibly be stuck in the middle of nowhere. For that of course you can buy a pre-paid cell phone, not give out the number and just use it as an emergency number. Now if one does a bunch of long distance, then the cell phone does look attractive with all calls costing the same.
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Old 05-29-2010, 06:28 PM   #55
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Mmmmm.....our wedding expenses came to a grand total of $30 in 1977 as we were married in a preacher's study.

My parents gave us $500 as a wedding gift. So we spent $30 on the wedding, $150 on the honeymoon and $320 on frivolous things like furniture, rent and food.
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Old 05-29-2010, 07:05 PM   #56
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I think fondly of my father when I reminisce on my wedding. I got married in 1977, a week after I finished grad school. My mother passed away during my senior year in college, and my father was resolved to give me a nice wedding, just like my older sister had(hers executed by my very capable mother). I would come home on school breaks from NYC, and he had his card file going as my wedding planner....florist, stationer, musicians, guest list, dinner entree choices, baker, favors, etc.
Dad was 72 at the time(fifty years older than I), and I am touched now to think of his excitement and his obvious love for me. I chose my size 6 dress off the sample rack at the bridal salon(I think it cost about $200.00), wore a pair of white sandals that I already owned, did my own hair, Mom's string of pearls completed the ensemble. I think we had about 175 guests. And...this is hilarious to think of in this day and age...the morning of my wedding he sent my older married sister in to talk to me about "the wedding night". How times change! I don't know what the wedding cost. I do recall overhearing later that the bar bill was almost as much as the food bill as Dad gave orders that the bar was not to close at all during the evening. Everyone would probably get DUIs today. Two years after we were married Dad bought us a belated wedding gift when we finally left New York...a new Toyota Celica.
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Old 05-29-2010, 09:10 PM   #57
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The story of your father planning your wedding is priceless, WDW--thanks for sharing. His sending your sister in to advise you about the wedding night is so sweet and funny.
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Old 05-29-2010, 09:41 PM   #58
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I can honestly say that I don't know anyone who doesn't have one other than myself. I love the looks I get when people ask me for my cell number and I tell them I don't have one. What? Isn't a home number and a work number enough?
I have a pre-paid phone that I keep turned off. Sometimes I have it in the car, sometimes in my purse, but it's always off. When people ask me for my cell number, I tell them I don't carry a phone with me. I don't even know the number without looking it up myself. The only reason I have it is in the event of a car problem (breakdown, etc.), to be able to make a call. It seems to really surprise people, and a few have actually gotten annoyed at me! Which, of course, annoys me.
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Old 05-30-2010, 12:08 PM   #59
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I have a pre-paid phone that I keep turned off. Sometimes I have it in the car, sometimes in my purse, but it's always off. When people ask me for my cell number, I tell them I don't carry a phone with me. I don't even know the number without looking it up myself. The only reason I have it is in the event of a car problem (breakdown, etc.), to be able to make a call. It seems to really surprise people, and a few have actually gotten annoyed at me! Which, of course, annoys me.
I do the same thing, except I keep it plugged in on the console of my car. If I'm in the car DW might be able to reach me if I hear it ring, other otherwise it is just there to use for an emergency or to access Google 411 to find a business or tow truck. When I hike in remote areas, I try to remember to stick it in my pocket. $5 a month.
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Old 05-30-2010, 01:50 PM   #60
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Mmmmm.....our wedding expenses came to a grand total of $30 in 1977 as we were married in a preacher's study.

My parents gave us $500 as a wedding gift. So we spent $30 on the wedding, $150 on the honeymoon and $320 on frivolous things like furniture, rent and food.
If there were a contest on the least expensive wedding, you would definitely win.
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