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Bragging and Proud ... such a fine line
Old 05-13-2010, 09:40 PM   #1
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Bragging and Proud ... such a fine line

I have a bunch of good friends whom I really enjoy hanging out and B.S with every now and then. Although these folks are well educated, nice and successful but I find it's 'strange' that they are extremely comfortable talking about their personal achievement which includes Mac Mansion, foreign luxury cars, over the top remodeling and exotic get away. Although I am also happy with what we have but we don't talk to others about what we have (I guess, I B.S a bit too but mostly online and to the people that we never met). Come to think of it, it's hard for us to "brag" since we both drive cheapo cars and live in a cheapo home.

At what point do you really cross the fine line of bragging and proud. To me bragging comes with a number behind it. For example I just got a new car and paid $35k for it.

Your thought

enuff
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Old 05-13-2010, 09:43 PM   #2
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Old 05-13-2010, 09:48 PM   #3
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Good question. Lots of time, it depends on the relationship between the purported bragger and his listener. For example, my siblings and myself are reasonably close. We would volunteer to each other what we pay for our cars, or for our home remodeling, etc... We never thought that the other was bragging. We do not reveal our exact income, or our net worth or portfolio, however.
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Old 05-13-2010, 10:12 PM   #4
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At what point do you really cross the fine line of bragging and proud.
When we're talking about our kid...
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Old 05-13-2010, 10:22 PM   #5
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At what point do you really cross the fine line of bragging and proud.
When you continue to yak away then suddenly realize everyone is looking at you like this ------>

( I do need to add that this forum is a place I can go to and share good things that happen to me. I also love every post when someone talks about reaching a goal. )
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Old 05-13-2010, 10:36 PM   #6
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At what point do you really cross the fine line of bragging and proud.
I think bragging is more about motivations than anything else. If you are telling someone that your car cost $35K, is that because they are close friends who are about to buy the exact same car with the same options, and indicated that they need a realistic price for it? (I don't think that would be bragging.) Or is it because you want them to know that your car is more expensive than theirs? (That would be bragging.)

Bragging is malicious and is done with the intent of hurting someone, no matter how minor the hurt. You want them to feel inferior to you and for others present to think they are inferior to you. Bragging is aggressive and mean.

If you are not intending to brag, then be considerate and be careful about the timing. Did the other person just buy something nice? Then first compliment them on that sincerely so that they feel proud of themselves, before you tell them about whatever is causing you to feel proud of yourself, too.

Of course, on the internet you can brag all you want. Everybody knows we can be anybody we want to be, on the internet.
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Old 05-13-2010, 10:52 PM   #7
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I had 4 years at Corp HQ 2004 -2008 and that is where I heard most bragging, talking about the latest hi tech golf clubs, golf club memberships, new expensive cars etc.

I just never contributed to the conversations but in 2007 I was talking one on one with a colleague that I got on really well with, who the previous week had told me about the new Mercedes convertible he'd just bought. Our Megacorp had just been bought by another Megacorp subject to the usual approvals from the authorities and I was saying that I just wanted the deal closure to drag out long enough for it to be too late to change the pension scheme before I retired. He knew I was in my early 50's and he said "Really, how can you afford to retire so young?". Only then did I point out that I didn't have a merc or huge house or belong to an outrageously expensive country club.

Each to his own, he loved his lifestyle and was prepared to keep on working as long as he could, and seemed to enjoy the bragging sessions.
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Old 05-13-2010, 11:07 PM   #8
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Everybody knows we can be anybody we want to be, on the internet.
Am I the only one who's telling the truth? That I am NW-"Scrooge"-Bound? That I like French music? And European travel? And now want to RV? Why do I need to lie about that?

PS. I also hinted that people may confuse me with some actors, but that would not be my fault they did that, would it?
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Old 05-13-2010, 11:10 PM   #9
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There are so many levels of bragging crossing the line, from possessions to activities to "do you know the Smiths?" to family members to cultural comments ("we only see foreign films, don't you?"). Sometimes the one-up-manship is dizzying and you just have to smile and listen and wait for it to be over and vow you'll never let yourself be put in that situation again.
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Old 05-13-2010, 11:10 PM   #10
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Am I the only one who's telling the truth? That I am NW-"Scrooge"-Bound? That I like French music? And European travel? And now want to RV? Why do I need to lie about that?

PS. I also hinted that people may confuse me with some actors, but that would not be my fault, would it?
Did you know that UncleMick is really a fourteen year old girl living in Missoula, Montana? Eternally 14, of course.
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Old 05-13-2010, 11:11 PM   #11
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We do not brag about anything intentionally but do love to talk about our daughter's academic achievements only when asked.
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Old 05-13-2010, 11:14 PM   #12
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Nah! UncleMick is anything but a 14-yr old girl. Why would a 14-yr old girl want to masquerade as a, ahem, frugal geezer? Lack of motives here, madam.
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Old 05-13-2010, 11:21 PM   #13
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We have come across many kind of braggers - some brag about how much they have paid for their kid's education even though most of the tuition was covered by financial aids or grants while some brag about not paying at all; some brag about not paying much in taxes; some brag about receiving big benefits from government, e.g., pensions, welfare, health care, etc.
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Old 05-13-2010, 11:25 PM   #14
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It's just human nature to want to be proud of something. It becomes bragging when it fails to evoke admiration in the listener.
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Old 05-14-2010, 04:41 AM   #15
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I live in a rural area and am probably considered to be a "have" (vs a "have not"). I avoid discussing financial matters with my local friends. If I am asked about money, I simply say "I can pay my bills" and leave it at that.
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Old 05-14-2010, 06:36 AM   #16
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I have always thought, right or wrong, that people who need to brag about accomplishments or material things do so out of insecurities or by the need to self justify/rationalize their actions.

Just my two cents.
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Old 05-14-2010, 06:46 AM   #17
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I live in a rural area and am probably considered to be a "have" (vs a "have not"). I avoid discussing financial matters with my local friends. If I am asked about money, I simply say "I can pay my bills" and leave it at that.
it's good to be the 'have'. You earned it. The 'have not' always are jealous of the 'have', I think it's normal.

I guess the 'have' like yourself should be a little more sensitive when you talk to the 'have not' just because the fine line of brag and proud for the 'have not' is a little thinner than average.

In some culture including my. Sometime the 'have' always act like they are the 'have not' and the 'have not' always act like they are the 'have'. Human psychology is weird huh??





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Old 05-14-2010, 06:47 AM   #18
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I would say that OP needs to expand their circle of friends beyond the "Jonses."
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Old 05-14-2010, 06:53 AM   #19
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I have always thought, right or wrong, that people who need to brag about accomplishments or material things do so out of insecurities or by the need to self justify/rationalize their actions.

Just my two cents.
I also see it as an insecurity thing.

We have a distant family member who always has to brag about something. He reminds me of a little kid who needs to be approved of and patted on the head by the "adults" in the room. He is not really that interested in what anyone else has going on or has accomplished - is mostly self-focused. So to me it's childish behavior.

With my siblings and Dad we often share what's going on in our lives and it's more like - "here is what is going on with me and what I'm happy about" and it never feels like bragging either way, but rather like sharing good news with close friends.

But then again - family members have been known to brag on each other!

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Old 05-14-2010, 07:27 AM   #20
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I just got a new car and paid $35k for it.

Your thought

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Bragger.

I had a couple of work buddies who enjoyed talking about their big houses, toys and expensive trips they would take. But they are still working. About the only time I might brag a little is when I have a good day on the golf course. Not bragging much these days as I can't make a putt.
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