Calling it quits when you're a little bit short

[ChocoKitty]

So I'm planning a sabbatical and launching my second, dream career. Who cares what I call it as long as I'm happy? :shrug:

[ziggy29]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChocoKitty See, I view it differently. I believe the benefits are greater than the risk at this point. I already have too many regrets from focusing on the money and career at this point and I have no desire to add more. Deep inside, I know that if I wait until, say, 50 to make the jump, I won't even make it to age 50. But at least then I'll no longer have to worry about outliving my money, right? [/sarcasm] At a certain point, it can't be solely about the numbers anymore.

Agreed. Sometimes I wonder how I'd feel if I took a less stressful job I enjoyed even at lower pay instead of doing what I did. Would I have even *wanted* to retire as soon as I could? I know a handful of people who truly love their work and I've always envied them in some way. I can't imagine working until a very advanced age for decades *by choice* after I had no financial need to do it.

In the last year or two I had some job-related health issues which told me I needed to get out sooner rather than later. Still, I was thinking I might make it to 50, but that decision was made for me.

At some point if a particular job is so toxic that it completely obscures your enjoyment of life or damages your health, it may be time to consider calling it quits and leave the future open. I suspect I'll be better off, physically and mentally, by getting whacked when I did and going back to a few years of low-stress part-time work if need be than stick with what I was doing to get 26 years of bigger paychecks. All in all, I think it was a blessing.

[Live And Learn]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katsmeow I guess it just depends on how you look at it. I'm perfectly happy with about a 95% chance of success. DH feels 80% is enough. To require an ironclad 100% until one is 95 to me is not planning a sabbatical particularly where I know where I could cut things if I needed to cut them. .

I believe OP quoted a significant amount of risk pulling the plug today. There was a $500 / month shortfall of which $250 was non-discretionary spend, and that was based upon a reduced spend from today's level that was seen as a "fun challenge".

As for me, I'm going with 90% to age 90 as "good enough" but 10% of my budget is truly discretionary plus I am holding 400k outside of my portfolio to cover "big ticket" expenses (roof, HVAC, replacement car, bucket list travel, long term care, etc) so I know I have wiggle room.

[UserRequested]

Quote:

Originally Posted by haha Remember how the only thing you both wanted then was some cheddar and jug wine, maybe a joint, and about 5 hours of making love? Ha

Life's a bit*h ain't it. Mind is willing but body won't comply

[ChocoKitty]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Live And Learn I believe OP quoted a significant amount of risk pulling the plug today. There was a $500 / month shortfall of which $250 was non-discretionary spend, and that was based upon a reduced spend from today's level that was seen as a "fun challenge". As for me, I'm going with 90% to age 90 as "good enough" but 10% of my budget is truly discretionary plus I am holding 400k outside of my portfolio to cover "big ticket" expenses (roof, HVAC, replacement car, bucket list travel, long term care, etc) so I know I have wiggle room.

I've been generous with what I call "non-discretionary" because I'm realistic about how much I love my creature comforts. If I cut back to only housing, food, and those types of essentials, I'm well under budget, but I'm fine doing a little part-time work (just not in my current field) to keep some luxuries and maintain a cushion.

You have your risk tolerance and I have mine. I'm comfortable with mine.

[ER Eddie]

Sounds like you'll be fine to me. 1.15 million, no one to support but yourself, and two fail-safe options (part-time work, trimming the luxury items from your budget). It's clear that you are really unhappy with your work. No sense spending another year there, just for a little more financial reassurance. Don't put a little extra money ahead of your physical health and happiness. Pull that plug.

[ChocoKitty]

You know what's really sick? I feel like I've been trained to believe that my happiness doesn't matter. That "me last" attitude is one I need to fix in a big way.

Edited to add: Heck, I'm not even aiming for "me first." "Me somewhere on the list" would be an improvement!

[ziggy29]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChocoKitty You know what's really sick? I feel like I've been trained to believe that my happiness doesn't matter. That "me last" attitude is one I need to fix in a big way.

+1

It sounds like you and I have been in a rather similar situation, the main difference being I was pushed out the door rather than walking through it. My being married adds a different dimension as well, I suppose; since my decisions don't only impact me they need to be made with consideration of others.

Still, the more I think on it, the more I agree that I would rather walk out now and find a little part time work later if it is acceptable to me, than to deal with a soul-sucking, stress-inducing corporate gig any longer. I'm already happier and feel less stress. Might I get bored before long? We'll see. Even boredom is better than feeling trapped in a job that's eating your soul and slowly killing you -- and easier to alleviate.

[brewer12345]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChocoKitty You know what's really sick? I feel like I've been trained to believe that my happiness doesn't matter. That "me last" attitude is one I need to fix in a big way.

+1, sadly.

[Live And Learn]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChocoKitty You have your risk tolerance and I have mine. I'm comfortable with mine.

At the end of the day thats really all that matters. Congratulations on your decision ! I have no doubt that you will figure out how to make this work.

[hausfrau]

You sound prepared to me. FWIW, I went through a very similar thought process when deciding to stay home with DD. I didn't like my job at all and attempts at finding something else did not pan out (might of had something to do with a really bad recession, LOL). It took me several years to finally pull the plug. Sometimes I have pangs of regret, but for the most part I do not, nor does DH. Our finances are structured so our expenses are low and even on one income we are able to save.

But, as someone told me too, it's not like I'll never be able to work again, right? I am realistic that I won't be returning to my former field though. Or course, I did all the calculations that said I could stay at my current job for five years and save up way more that what I could make at a PT job, or lower wage FT job down the road. That's what kept me on the fence. Is five years of misery and awful family life worth it? It's a tough decision though. It sounds like you've already reached the point of no return.

[Accidental Retiree]

ChocoKitty, I check each day to see whether you've added your name to the 2013 list.

[Hamlet]

I sometimes wonder if we in this forum worry a little too much about the possibility of having to reduce our spending at the end of our lives.

I see many elderly people living pretty well on very little money beyond Social Security. Once you downsize to a small apartment, how much money do you really need?

You're probably not going to be travelling much in your 80s/90s.
You may have to give up the car anyway.

As long as you have enough money to eat out a little, put a couple rolls of nickels into a slot machine, and get to the movies occasionally, how bad will it really be?

It's really not a nightmare worst-case scenario.

[Live And Learn]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hamlet I sometimes wonder if we in this forum worry a little too much about the possibility of having to reduce our spending at the end of our lives. I see many elderly people living pretty well on very little money beyond Social Security. Once you downsize to a small apartment, how much money do you really need? You're probably not going to be travelling much in your 80s/90s. You may have to give up the car anyway. As long as you have enough money to eat out a little, put a couple rolls of nickels into a slot machine, and get to the movies occasionally, how bad will it really be? It's really not a nightmare worst-case scenario.

I will be the first to admit that I worry too much. My 90% to age 90 is a significant risk in my mind - but I'm trying hard to get myself over that mindset. My family never had money - but we were happy. I have to keep reminding myself of that. I've done very well in my career and while I've always been the LBYM type, I definitely spend alot more now than I did at the start of my career. I pinch pennies because I enjoy it and I dislike waste. Do I have to pinch pennies ? heck no. And that gives me some freedom. I don't want to end up at a point where pinching pennies is a requirement. OR, worse, end up broke and in a cruddy nursing home covered in bedsores. Since I have no kids thats a real concern. SO ... I'll contine to err on the side of caution. Everyone has their risk tolerance.

[ER Eddie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChocoKitty You know what's really sick? I feel like I've been trained to believe that my happiness doesn't matter. That "me last" attitude is one I need to fix in a big way. Edited to add: Heck, I'm not even aiming for "me first." "Me somewhere on the list" would be an improvement!

I have a bit of that myself, so don't take this as personal criticism, but I think that may be your core problem -- not a financial issue so much as a self-worth/care issue. If you don't think you're entitled to take good care of your own interests, then it's easy to get sidelined by financial worries or some other pretext.

I don't know you, but I'm pretty sure you're a decent person, and you deserve to be happy. I'll bet you have friends who really care about you. I don't think they'd want you slaving away at a job you hate, when you can leave and create a happier life for yourself.

Think of how you'd feel if a friend you cared about was in your position, 24 years in a job she hates, with enough money to get out but not enough self-care to do it. What would you tell her? "Suck it up, you need some more money"? No, you'd tell her to take care of herself and GTFO of there, right? So be at least that kind to yourself. Here's your chance to do something really good for yourself.

[DeborahB]

ChocoKitty - My advice is to quit. NOW. You've been on this board since 2002 - that's a long time to be hating your job AND thinking about quitting early. I'd take the risk and assume you can do something to make a few hundred a month if you have to. I am less risk-averse than a lot on this forum but... I can't remember how I came out on FireCalc, but the best thing I did was quitting my job when I did. I believe I will have enough money.

Don't forget to ditch the commuting expenses and so on that a j*b costs you, in your calculations. I'm hoping my 2004 Volvo lasts forever! It doesn't get driven much these days.

Good luck with all of this and - nothing ventured, nothing gained. My j*b was killing me, too - fairly literally. I really do know what that's like.

Get out and go dancing!

[ChocoKitty]

Quote:

Originally Posted by thinker25 ChocoKitty - My advice is to quit. NOW. You've been on this board since 2002 - that's a long time to be hating your job AND thinking about quitting early.

Oh lordy, here's the really pathetic part: before this board, I participated on the Motley Fool early retirement boards since 1995, if I recall correctly. That is a long time. I'm surprised I'm not bitter, angry, or defeatist about it all, but it has been quite a ride. I've learned a LOT about myself along the way.

Thank you again, everyone, for sharing your advice and viewpoints!

[ziggy29]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChocoKitty Oh lordy, here's the really pathetic part: before this board, I participated on the Motley Fool early retirement boards since 1995, if I recall correctly. That is a long time.

Yep, I can vouch for this -- I was there along with you for a lot of those early days, back when John Greaney (intercst) was leading the Retire Early Home Page TMF board over there (now overrun with politics). Glad you made it here!

[ChocoKitty]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ziggy29 Yep, I can vouch for this -- I was there along with you for a lot of those early days, back when John Greaney (intercst) was leading the Retire Early Home Page TMF board over there (now overrun with politics). Glad you made it here!

Glad to see you here too! It's nice to see some familiar usernames (you, brewer12345, etc.)

[REWahoo]

I was there as well as REWannabe, occasionally participating in H*c*mania but mostly just lurking.