The private banking thing has always perplexed me. Why? For a fraction of the cost (is none a fraction?), Schwab and Fidelity offer largely the same services (minus the obsequious butt-sucking). I've been a Schwab customer for 15 years and aside from the period under Pottruck when they were trying to force out the hundred thousandaires in favor of the whales, service has been excellent, prices have only come down, and there are rafts of free services I don't use or even really know about.
"Neither my companion or I carry firearms on our persons. We depend on the goodwill of our fellow man and the forbearance of reptiles."
- English Bob