Join Early Retirement Today
View Poll Results: How do you allocate Christmas funds for adult children?
Each of my children get the same total amount, and that amount is spread across their family 11 29.73%
I spend so much per adult, DIL/SIL, and grandchild, regardless if one of my kids has one child or five 10 27.03%
I write a check of the same anount ot each of my kids, and they do as they wish with it. 5 13.51%
I do not celebrate Christmas and/or we do not gift exchanges. 7 18.92%
It varies and depends if they have been naughty or nice this year! 4 10.81%
Voters: 37. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Christmas Gift Allocation for your adult children
Old 11-27-2011, 04:03 PM   #1
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 518
Christmas Gift Allocation for your adult children

We had an interesting conversation with friends this week, parents of 3 adult children with families. We only have one child, so no decision to make, but...

How do you allocate your Christmas budget for your adult children-when some or all they have families?
__________________

__________________
bizlady is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 11-27-2011, 04:16 PM   #2
Moderator Emeritus
REWahoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 34,352
None of the above.

We have two adult children, both married with children. The adults draw names over the T-Giving holiday and have an agreed on $ limit on what we'll spend on the gift. It has worked well for us for many years.

The five grandkids are exempt of course. We spend about $75 or so on each of them.
__________________

__________________
Numbers is hard...



REWahoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-27-2011, 04:20 PM   #3
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Spanky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 3,752
Nothing - I am cheap.
__________________
May we live in peace and harmony and be free from all human sufferings.
Spanky is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-27-2011, 05:29 PM   #4
Full time employment: Posting here.
Brett_Cameron's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: South Eastern USA
Posts: 952
I generally give DD-31 money to buy gifts for her children from Santa Claus. DS-26 gets money but 2/3 less than DD & family.
__________________
Brett_Cameron is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-27-2011, 07:36 PM   #5
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,824
Our 2 sons are 27 and 24, both single with no kids. We don't do Christmas but we give Winter Solstice gifts. Since DH retired we dropped the budget from $100 each to $50 each. DS-27 makes more than we do and can't find anything he needs to spend it on so we have no guilt over cutting back on gifts.

The last few years we've given gift cards, things like Amazon or NewEgg for the older one, Subway or Chipotle for the younger one who works odd hours and needs a quick meal while working.

If I'm ever lucky enough to have grandchildren I'm sure I'd re-evaluate all this.
__________________
Married, both 59. DH retired June, 2010. I have a pleasant little part time job.
Sue J is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-27-2011, 08:15 PM   #6
Full time employment: Posting here.
Ally's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 842
We generally spend about $150 for each couple (child and in-law). Then we spend about $50 for each grandchild.
__________________
Ally is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2011, 04:16 PM   #7
Moderator Emeritus
Khan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Greater Dayton area
Posts: 6,666
Send a message via AIM to Khan
Why would anyone give gifts to adult children?
__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
Khan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2011, 05:57 PM   #8
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Moemg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 8,902
Quote:
Originally Posted by Khan View Post
Why would anyone give gifts to adult children?

Because even though they are adults they are still our children and super important in our lives . I still get presents from my Mom who is 95 . It is one of the ways we show love and caring in my family .
__________________
Moemg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2011, 06:08 PM   #9
Moderator
MichaelB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Headed back to the polar vortex
Posts: 15,500
We give an equal amount to each of our adult children and their lucky spouses in some combination of stuff and money. DW works out the details in advance with the DD's so there are no surprises. DS lives abroad so they get small, inexpensive and easily mailed gifts and mostly cash. Grandchildren are even more fortunate because DW is quite generous.

I tell the kids to save everything because at this rate we'll soon be broke.
__________________
Don't underestimate the value of doing nothing
MichaelB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2011, 06:50 PM   #10
Moderator Emeritus
Khan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Greater Dayton area
Posts: 6,666
Send a message via AIM to Khan
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
Because even though they are adults they are still our children and super important in our lives . I still get presents from my Mom who is 95 . It is one of the ways we show love and caring in my family .
Love equals money?
__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
Khan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2011, 06:52 PM   #11
Moderator Emeritus
Khan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Greater Dayton area
Posts: 6,666
Send a message via AIM to Khan
So if I send someone a $20 gift card and I receive same in return, something meaningful has occurred? I guess I just don't get it.
__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
Khan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2011, 08:35 PM   #12
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,115
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
Because even though they are adults they are still our children and super important in our lives . I still get presents from my Mom who is 95 . It is one of the ways we show love and caring in my family .
+1 It is amazing to me how much we think alike Moemg.

My take on your question Khan is no, love does not equal money. I would love my adult children and they would love me whether any of us had any money or not. We give our adult children money and usually small gifts for them to open and they give us small gifts, such as a book or a CD, since their financial situation is not as good as ours, unfortunately. I would do anything possible for my adult children the same as I would have when they were my minor children. My love for them grows. I could not imagine not giving them presents, unless I was destitute. If I did not have any money, I would give them poems or stories or whatever I could find. Love is a wonderful thing!
__________________
Dreamer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-30-2011, 03:13 PM   #13
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
TromboneAl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 10,564
If someone gives me something that I like and use, I think of them when I use it.
__________________
Al
TromboneAl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-30-2011, 06:02 PM   #14
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 955
Quote:
Originally Posted by Khan View Post
So if I send someone a $20 gift card and I receive same in return, something meaningful has occurred? I guess I just don't get it.
I think this video pretty well illustrates what the purpose of gifting giving is and the fears inherent in such decisions. Some people try to avoid due to the first part as much as possible. Many truly enjoy risking for the chance of the outcome at the end of the video
__________________

I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more
Well, I try my best to be just like I am
But everybody wants you to be just like them
They say sing while you slave and I just get bored
I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more
Running_Man is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-30-2011, 06:26 PM   #15
Recycles dryer sheets
Nuiloa's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 496
Quote:
Originally Posted by Khan View Post
Why would anyone give gifts to adult children?
I posed the same question to my mom once. She told me that, because all of her kids (6 of us) were scattered across the country, she rarely got a chance to treat everyone to home-cooked family dinners or shopping trips, etc. We aren't a "gifty" family at any rate - birthdays and Xmas were the big ones for us. She was as excited as we were for Xmas to come around. For that reason, she chose to continue giving gifts at Xmas. $100/adult (including in-laws) and $50/grandchild. That, plus no matter how old we got, we were still her kids.

Mom passed away in February so this is the first Christmas where we are "orphans". It's just not the same anymore.
__________________
Inside me is a skinny person crying to get out, but I can usually shut the b*tch up with cookies
Nuiloa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-30-2011, 06:30 PM   #16
Recycles dryer sheets
Nuiloa's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 496
Quote:
Originally Posted by Khan View Post
So if I send someone a $20 gift card and I receive same in return, something meaningful has occurred? I guess I just don't get it.
Yes, something meaningful has occurred. You thought of someone and send them a gift to show that you love/like/tolerate them at least for one day a year. And vice versa.

I feel the same way about Christmas cards. I don't think that it's too much to ask family and friends to send me a card once a year - and to h*ll with the cost of the stamp.
__________________
Inside me is a skinny person crying to get out, but I can usually shut the b*tch up with cookies
Nuiloa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2011, 11:13 AM   #17
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 57
As my dad used to say, "There are just some things in life that if I have to explain it to you, you will never understand!" I guess I put the giving of gifts kind of in that catagory.

I would bet that Khan took that name and image for a very good reason. The real Khan was probably pretty stingy with his gift budget, too!

And true to my dad, I just do not understand no matter how much you explain your side. Sorry...

Santa at heart (Ted!)
__________________
Ted
tednvon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2011, 11:27 AM   #18
Moderator Emeritus
Bestwifeever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 13,910
I love giving our two adult kids gifts, not just at the holidays and birthdays but whenever I see something they might like getting. They don't expect them and are appreciative of them, but even if they weren't I'd still do it. Well, I probably wouldn't knit another sweater for DS (he took a photo of himself wearing it and we agreed it wasn't the best fit and now it probably still lies at the bottom of the Salvation Army store bargain bin ), but other than that....
__________________
What does a vegan zombie eat?
Bestwifeever is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2011, 11:50 AM   #19
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Ed_The_Gypsy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Baku, Azerbaijan
Posts: 4,696
Quote:
Originally Posted by Khan View Post
Why would anyone give gifts to adult children?
Great question! I don't know.

Our Christmas get-together includes three extended families. Gifts are just trinkets (M&Ms, books, etc). We used to rotate between us siblings' homes, but now we rendezvous at a residence inn in a central city where several of our kids are living, and cook and eat and drink and talk for days.

It just worked out this way.
__________________
"Ain't got no money for no old-age pension;
I'm so broke, I can't pay attention!"

"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left."
Ed_The_Gypsy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2011, 11:55 AM   #20
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Ed_The_Gypsy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Baku, Azerbaijan
Posts: 4,696
This year, after Christmas, we are taking or DS (24), DD (26) and her hubby to 'Vegas to see Circ's Love. They do not know it yet, but I will also be giving a PowerPoint presentation on LBYM/pay-yourself-first/you-can-have-a-million-dollars-someday and why you need to.

It is a one-time thing. We do not expect to be all together again this way again.
__________________

__________________
"Ain't got no money for no old-age pension;
I'm so broke, I can't pay attention!"

"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left."
Ed_The_Gypsy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Today's WSJ article about return of adult children ratto FIRE and Money 20 11-11-2011 09:58 PM
How to avoid an awkward prenup discussion when you have adult children... Nords FIRE and Money 24 08-12-2011 11:08 AM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:24 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Early Retirement News right to your Email!

Stay up-to-date with all the latest news to your inbox!

unsusbcribe at anytime with one click

Close [X]