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Old 04-08-2013, 05:12 AM   #21
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In light of FIL's recent issues and my experience with my mother this is a topic of discussion with DW from time to time. Our experiences parallel what others have posted. This is one of the reasons a CCRC looks like a good option for us along with auto-pay on everything we can.

As for the rest the best solution we have is a POA with DW's nephew who is both smart and honest.

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Old 04-08-2013, 06:40 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by JoeWras View Post
Great subject! But I don't have the answers. It is a concern of mine judging from family history.

Let me tell you about my mom and dad.
Thanks for sharing this. Real life experience is one of the best teachers.

"The future's uncertain, and the end is always near. Let it roll, baby, roll." - The Doors
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Old 04-08-2013, 07:15 AM   #23
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My parents passed away long before this became an issue, but DH's sister took over handling their parents' financial affairs, with input and support of the other 3 kids, when the parents were in their very early 80s.

Great thread. A lot of folks here and I'd say at least half of our friends don't have kids to look after them, but even those of us who do may not want them doing this or the kids might not want to, so we still need to plan. I know one case where one son was handling big chunks right out of the mother's accounts into his own until the other took them over for a short period (there was a lot of rationalization in first son's mind that it would be coming to him anyway).
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Old 04-08-2013, 07:52 AM   #24
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Definitely simplify and sooner than later.
My father managed my parents' finances and did it very well. He enjoyed it and kept meticulous records. I don't know if he shared a lot of information with my mother he did not tell my sister and me any specifics.

He had a catastrophic illness was in the hospital for 6 months and when he came home no longer had interest in managing the money. He/we thought my mother was taking care of it. It turned out she had the beginnings of dementia. By the time I realized what was going on there were unpaid bills cancelled insurances and lost checks. It took me a year to get everything straightened out. If his records had not been so excellent prior to illness I doubt I would have been able to do it at all!

My father lived for 4 years requiring home care my mom for 10. We were lucky they had te money to pay for it. They did not have LTC insurance. I do!
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Old 04-08-2013, 09:47 AM   #25
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My father manages my parents' finances. He is 75 and very meticulous. My sister and I know where all of the financial documents are kept, and I am the executor of his will. He also has a POA. The biggest worry has always been if he passed away before my mother. She doesn't have interest in the finances, and even years ago would have needed our help. Now she is starting to show early signs of Alzheimer's (her mother had it too), and would probably have to go into assisted living if my father passed away unexpectedly any time soon.

We are lucking that our whole family has always been open about finances and what to do if mental or physical health starts deteriorating. I am also responsible for my aunt's finances etc. if she starts having problems. And I think she will be realistic if/when the time comes, because my uncle is 15 years older and dealing with full-blown Alzeimer's right now. It is not easy on either of them.
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Old 04-09-2013, 01:59 AM   #26
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I have many friends but no family or children here. Therefore, I expect my girlfriend to help me one day when my cognitive abilites decrease. In the meantime, I started to buy annuities and LTCI last year. As time goes by, I will automate as many income flows / payments as I can. I am turning 48 this year.

Very conservative with investments. Not ER'd yet, 48 years old. Please do not take anything I write or imply as legal, financial or medical advice directed to you. Contact your own financial advisor, healthcare provider, or attorney for financial, medical and legal advice.
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