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Old 01-31-2008, 09:17 AM   #21
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Rather than focusing on getting your money back, maybe you and your friends could focus on getting him so professional help as he is obviously a gambling addict. I know this is not your responsbility, but hell I would never take part in a game where I know someone has a gambling problem, even if it is some easy money.
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Old 01-31-2008, 09:20 AM   #22
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It is possible that his mom's estate will have to be probated. Most often probate notices are published in a local paper. The home health aid could file a claim in the probate for her unpaid wages. That is worth checking on anyway.
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Old 01-31-2008, 09:20 AM   #23
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If he has a gambling problem, and it sure sounds like he does, forget it. My guess is he has no assets. First goes the checking and savings, then the credit cards get maxed and small personal loans are tapped. Then future earnings (the inheritance) are tapped. He probably has already signed it away. If he wasn't even paying the health care worker I suspect he was well past this stage.
It is a sickness, and he is the only one that can get himself out of it. Get some distance.
If he does pay you back to get back into the game he probably stole it from someone else. Just stay clear
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Old 01-31-2008, 12:04 PM   #24
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Clif, it sounds as if his poker skills have made you whole and that the other players have learned their lessons. Maybe they've made themselves whole too.

The home health aide definitely has a claim against someone, whether it's against him or his parent's estate. I wonder if the Legal Aid Society could help her sort out her options.

And if one of those pissed-off poker players is a lawyer looking for some pro bono then so much the better... I believe the small-claims threshold is under $2000 so this could go bigger than just a judgment.
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Old 01-31-2008, 12:18 PM   #25
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The guy isn't paying his poker debts now, how is inviting him to play more poker going to help? That sounds like the bad mortgage loan fiasco the country is in now. "You're a proven bad risk? Sure, I'll front you some money!"

Maybe you can invite him to a poker game, and tell him he's gotta have cash for the buy-in. Once he pays for his chips, you can remind him "Oh yeah, you already owe me money. I'll take this. Now, if you want to play poker tonight, you need to come up with some more money."
The intent was not to have Clifp loan him more money. The gambler will get money from somewhere until he runs out of recourses and then perhaps get help. I was just making a suggestion for the OP to get his money back.

In a later post, Clifp said that the guy was banned from playing where he owes a lot of people money, so I guess my option would not help.

I have been a gambler for fun for over 21 years. It's a shame that some people take advantage of others. No fun in that.
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Old 01-31-2008, 07:28 PM   #26
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If he is a good friend, I would get him professional help for his gambling problem, which seems to be the basis for all of his loans.
If he is not a good friend, then I would disengage and chalk the $300 up to education. You've learned a valuable lesson and hopefully not repeat it in the future.
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Old 01-31-2008, 08:07 PM   #27
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Sometimes in my old neighborhood he would have had his knees injured, and his nose redone.
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Old 02-01-2008, 07:03 PM   #28
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clifp - well, I guess you paid him for his crazy entertainment! As for the healthcare worker - yes, it's sad. What I'd like to know is why she kept cleaning for him after he didn't pay the first or second time. I do see how charm can be misleading, but she is a businesswoman. He's a jerk even if he is an addict and hopefully she won't get taken again by someone like him.
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Old 02-02-2008, 05:18 PM   #29
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clifp - well, I guess you paid him for his crazy entertainment! As for the healthcare worker - yes, it's sad. What I'd like to know is why she kept cleaning for him after he didn't pay the first or second time. I do see how charm can be misleading, but she is a businesswoman. He's a jerk even if he is an addict and hopefully she won't get taken again by someone like him.
Like many immigrant woman, she is very passive and doesn't want to make any kinda of trouble. As I said "the meek shall inherit the earth only after the strong rip off everything that isn't nailed down."


Discussing this a little further I am finding that people loaned this guy a lot more money than I thought. One of my friends loaned him $15K and another couple I know $20K, my friend thinks that the guys total debts maybe close to $80K wow! I did pass on Martha's suggestion of making a claim in probate, since I believe there is a decent size life insurance policy involved. I'll encourage the health care worker to send him a formal bill, by certified mail. The friend says he is actually going to hire a lawyer and urged him to act sooner rather than latter.

I guess people are more trusting than I, I wouldn't loan my nephew $15K for his dubious software business loaning that kinda of money to a gambling addicts is pretty crazy.
Once again thanks for the suggestions, unfortunately when it comes to money, many people aren't very akamai (wise) so who knows if they will take the suggestions.
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Old 02-02-2008, 07:05 PM   #30
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Once again thanks for the suggestions, unfortunately when it comes to money, many people aren't very akamai (wise) so who knows if they will take the suggestions.
And perhaps they don't want to make stink or lose face, either...

After years here I've learned that getting fervent thanks and a promise to think things over really means "Nah, never gonna happen." And the only time you'll ever really hear "No" is prefaced by the phrase "You know what, Mr. Nords..."
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Old 02-04-2008, 03:22 PM   #31
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Wow..... I have been following this thread for a while now. I think it all comes back to living a life with no negative consequences. I understand that a gambling addiciton is just like any other form of addiction, and that limits your control over certain things. But the fact remains, if you do not even TRY to do something about it, then in fact YOU ARE part of the problem. For the time being this guy is "getting away with it". So far there have not been serious negative consequences for his actions. When those consequenses start piling up, then he might be more inclined to change his ways. Women who have drinking problems tend to seek out help in a hurry when they learn their children will be taken away. Negative consequences are a powerful motivational tool for almost anyone, at least I think so...
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