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Old 06-20-2014, 09:52 AM   #61
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This looks like another convincing example that people have different likes and attitudes. Different approaches work differently on individuals depending on their own internal inclinations and propensities. I'm full of goals for myself, but would never ever want external accountability or even want to review them with others (SO excepted). I see that at least some people DO like that, and good for them. Maybe they even like SMART goals at work. But no one prescription fits all.
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Old 06-20-2014, 10:36 AM   #62
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Originally Posted by EastWest Gal View Post
My one goal in retirement is to just...live. To be happy.

I'm so sick of being a"human doing". I just want to be a human being. I'm already tired of people asking me what I'm going to do when I retire. I'm going to live. Really live. Isn't that enough?
That is enough for me, and sums up my feelings exactly. I don't know why more people don't "get it", but I've had to learn that my likes and preferences aren't popular.
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Old 06-20-2014, 10:37 AM   #63
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I guess I'll stick my introverted hand up and admit that I do something like this with a friend via email, only we touch base every day and don't really refer to it as SMART goals, more our current projects. Basically we send each other a list in the morning of what we would like to have done that day on our personal projects and update our status at the end of the day. It's going to be a nice day today, so mine will probably just be "X hour hike". Also need to review some travel brochures and maps for the upcoming 2 month RV trip, do some writing and scope out a plan for my portfolio cash. And the dreaded cleaning list (cleaning does not come naturally to me). She's working on her next book and editing another book for someone else so usually has something in her email to do with that. Yesterday was completely focused on watching both the market and Breaking Bad. I over-achieved on that particular project.

We don't do it to be "accountable" to someone else - it's more encouraging each other - but she is good at reminding me to not be such a perfectionist and take every little progress towards stuff like cleaning or anything else really that I avoid doing as a win. I hope I do the same for her.

We've done this together off and on over the last 5 years that I've known her. Used to use idonethis.com which is handy because they send you an email every day or however often you want and keep a record of what you logged in for that day. Maybe it works for us because personally, I am not working right now because I have my own stuff to do, not so much to get away from somewhere - except that their stuff wasn't interesting to me anymore. I'm also not married (but she is). Maybe that makes a difference.

It's not much different than the "What did you do today" thread on here or the Wednesday weigh-in thread or the thread that used to be here for decluttering. Just sharing with people that care about you and want to see you happy.
I wish I had friends like yours and like you!
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Old 06-20-2014, 03:15 PM   #64
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I would rather spend an hour with a fat, lazy, drunk friend than spend a minute with a friend who was intent on coaching, "improving", and cajoling me.


Thanks for the Friday afternoon laugh at w*rk!
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Old 06-20-2014, 04:26 PM   #65
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This reminds me that the time for my next year's goals is coming up. Megacorp demands they be "SMART" goals. I told a coworker my goal should be to go another 12 months without walking out one day. After all, it's Specific, Measurable, Achievable, etc. It's also a stretch.
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Old 06-20-2014, 05:14 PM   #66
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Also meant to say that I'm very fortunate that my friend is an ENFP and can see things that I can't when my INTJ-blinders are on in full gear - and I help talk her down sometimes. We make a great team.
Am a male INTJ myself and dating (early stage) an ENFP right now. Any hints?

Been an interesting experience so far, but at times I think I need a manual ..
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Old 06-20-2014, 05:28 PM   #67
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Am a male INTJ myself and dating (early stage) an ENFP right now. Any hints?

Been an interesting experience so far, but at times I think I need a manual ..
Two:

1) Enjoy the wild ride.
2) Watch the educational filmstrip
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Old 06-20-2014, 06:14 PM   #68
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Transparent is new? I thought I made it it go out of style in the early 80s. A major upgrade to the online systems; management sent out notice to all customers(big banks, financial institutions etc.) the upgrade would be 'transparent' to them. Well there was a big issue, about 72 hours later service was restored for several thousand users.

My manager used to laugh about transparent, 'so is an airplane propeller at full throttle'.
Well like a bad case of....it's back. I heard that idiot from the IRS use the phrase "with transparency" during his televised testimony this morning and cringed (televisions in gym locker rooms should be outlawed for those of us who choose not to be nauseated by mainstream media).
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Old 06-20-2014, 06:27 PM   #69
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Sept. 19 is my last day. My plan (which I stole from someone) is this;

Fishing in the morning
Whiskey in the afternoon

So I think I have lazy and drunk covered, and I figure fat will follow soon enough.
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Old 06-20-2014, 07:36 PM   #70
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Quote:
Originally Posted by samclem View Post
Two:

1) Enjoy the wild ride.
2) Watch the educational filmstrip
That 'educational filmstrip' was right on! Oddly, DW did not see the humor. Whoda thunkit?



Quote:
Originally Posted by ERsoonihope View Post
Sept. 19 is my last day. My plan (which I stole from someone) is this;

Fishing in the morning
Whiskey in the afternoon

So I think I have lazy and drunk covered, and I figure fat will follow soon enough.
Or you could reverse the order. Whatever you please.




-ERD50
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Old 06-20-2014, 08:48 PM   #71
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Originally Posted by Totoro View Post
Am a male INTJ myself and dating (early stage) an ENFP right now. Any hints?

Been an interesting experience so far, but at times I think I need a manual ..
LOL, I know what you mean! Must be even worse as a man in a relationship... Whatever you do - or they do - they're excited about - and then they are praising you all the time and it's like "Why are you saying this? I do not require this affirmation thing that you are doing." And you make a mental note to yourself that you have to praise them today for whatever thing that they're doing because that seems somehow meaningful to them. But they're terribly insidious and they bring a bit of that out in you and you become a more open person. And you have to tell them that no, that other person couldn't have really meant what they think that they meant. Maybe this or that is the explanation and they're okay as they are. And then one or two days later it's like nothing happened and everything is sunshine and unicorns again and you're like What just happened there? And please don't make all that emotion happen again. But then it does and you have to be okay with it because they're just so... nice. And fun to be with.
But I think most importantly, they accept us as we are and don't try to change us. We just have to hop on the crazy train once in awhile while keeping one foot on the ground.
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Old 06-20-2014, 09:12 PM   #72
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I wish I had friends like yours and like you!
Thanks for that, but you can't have her!

Seriously, she's the one I can feel safe to tell when I've had a big win in the market or reached a milestone even though she doesn't really get the concept of FI/ER at all. So many other people in your life will say stupid stuff like "you're lucky" or "ooh, the millionaire blah blah blah". So you don't end up saying anything to anyone and it almost makes you embarrassed that you're doing well. She says "I'm SO happy for you - you've worked so hard for this. Now what?" OK, I can do without the last part sometimes.
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Old 06-20-2014, 11:21 PM   #73
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Goals

Excellent question. I have been a student of goal setting all the way back to the early 80s when I was in college. Read all of the great authors and adopted the strategies that worked for me both professionally and personally. Favorite author is Brian T. Tracy. The best one I have adopted involves setting your goals and then adopting sub goals or strategies required to accomplish the ultimate goal. He then suggests an exercise where you ask yourself " how can I accomplish this? You then write down the first 15 t0 20 ideas that come to mind. The first few will be the most obvious but the last few will be the most intriguing. Pick a few ideas from each extreme and explore. Yes setting goals and strategies has provided me with a great career in both good and bad economies, enhanced my marriage , and has allowed me to live the life I wanted to live. It will also allow me , god willing and the creeks don't rise, to retire in one and a half years, just shy of my 55th birthday. And yes I will continue to set goals and strategies even during retirement. It will not be work, it will be the thing that gets me out of bed each morning and causes me to drag myself to bed exhausted later that night. My first goal will be to prove my life long theory that it is never to late to have a great childhood.
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Old 06-21-2014, 04:30 AM   #74
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Jacqjolie: Thank you so much, these are exactly the things I've been experiencing, had to laugh quite a bit! Every single item you describe, including the sunshine and unicorns . Gives me some comfort that this can be expected.

Guess I'll see what direction the crazy train goes. Hardest part is figuring out what I can do to make her happy, and what to say / not say. It's actually why I made her do the MBTI on-line.

For the others, don't want to steer too far off-topic (SMART goals ..), thanks for your patience
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Old 06-21-2014, 07:28 AM   #75
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Most of us went to great lengths for a number of years to escape this kind of bullcrap in the workplace. I quite frankly would rather cut off a toe (or better yet, your toe) than let this garbage into my real life. If it works for you, great. But you must not have read many posts here if you thought we would all start singing the company fight song.
+1.

Personal goals are fine. Deadlines are even better. Just not when dressed up in the corporate BS most of spent eons trying to escape!

My overarching "goal" in retirement is to not have goals. To not live the structured, organized, scheduled-to-death existence that has heretofore overhung my entire adult life.

My goal is to go with the flow. To be flexible. To respond to life more than to plan it. To live in the moment. To be happy and carefree.

To be more like my dog and my cat!
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Old 06-21-2014, 09:34 AM   #76
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Honestly, my earlier post probably didn't give much insight into my feelings on this issue. My first job out of college was in sales and I was first introduced to goal setting strategies and encouraged to read all the sales books, all of which had a goal setting component. I actually found it helpful and interesting- this is all good stuff for a person who's primary goals have been to simply prepare for exams and get through college with a good grade point. I didn't even have specific goals laid out to have a good job after graduation. Not very good planning.

After a few years, I realized that sales was not for me; it was something I was able to do until I found something better. I spent most of my career after that in various areas of banking where they loved to talk about goals but there was little action. I, along with most all my colleagues, quickly got burned out on all the nonsense. The meetings were just taking time away from our real and productive work. Our new goal at these meetings was to attend their stupid meetings with a sense of humor, talk about how excited you were to use their newest strategy called (insert ACRONYM here) and your plans for achieving the company's goals, knowing that you wouldn't be implementing any of their crap because all would be forgotten and there would be no follow-up anyway. Before the end of the process, there would be a change of plans or some other distraction, a different training director would be hired or the bank was being acquired by a bigger bank with a different sales approach with an even better acronym. Blah, blah, blah. This is literally what entered my head going to these meetings after a while.

Anyway, fast forward to now. I work in a smaller accounting, tax and financial services firm with about 40 employees. The area that I work in isn't into meetings much and we're all very self-directed. We know what needs to get done and how to do it. Our team is accountable to ourselves and to the members of our team. We don't want to be a drag on the team or be seen as not pulling our own weight. Just get your work done and provide your clients with excellent service. Give them the same treatment (or better) that you would your own family (the ones you like). If you do this, they'll stay and they'll refer their friends and family and if you don't they'll leave.

With the work goals pretty much on auto-pilot, my current goals tend to be more focused on my personal life. This puts me in the same boat with many others here in this community I guess. I have goals of maintaining my weight and good health, spending enough time with family, and getting the work done around the house quickly so I can enjoy the rest of my time. Financially, I have goals to accumulate enough money in the next 9 years so I can FIRE, or cut back, or work if I want to and not because I have to.
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Old 06-21-2014, 09:49 AM   #77
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I'm a huge fan of using goals to shape my future and drive daily activities towards short, medium & long term goals of import...

One thing that has worked extremely well has been sharing those goals with a close friend and reviewing them often. We discuss goals on a weekly basis and do a big review at the end of the year to gauge progress...

The model that works best is SMART - many of you are familiar I'm sure.

I'm curious how many other folks here follow a similar strategy, formal or otherwise?..
I had never heard of "SMART". That being said, your original post (see above) seemed to be reasonable enough.

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...though I'm shocked at the level of negativity from others. Seems rather toxic.
It was rather toxic (and, right here in our own backyard). I'm glad you hung in there long enough for the group to finally come around.

I guess Nietzsche was on to something after all:

"Insanity in individuals is something rare-but in groups (including internet groups), parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule"-Friederich Nietzsche (via haha).
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Old 06-21-2014, 11:05 AM   #78
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The meetings were just taking time away from our real and productive work. ... stupid meetings... talk about how excited you were to use their newest strategy called (insert ACRONYM here) and your plans for achieving the company's goals, knowing that you wouldn't be implementing any of their crap because all would be forgotten and there would be no follow-up anyway. Before the end of the process, there would be a change of plans or some other distraction
This is a good description of where I have encountered SMART goals before, and it ALWAYS went like that. Naturally, I am left with a very negative feeling about SMART goals and have no desire to have anything to do with them in my personal life. Goals are good. But the corporate whitewash to make them "SMART" was worse than useless. If it works for some people, more power to them, they are welcome to them. It didn't seem to work for me or any of my colleagues.
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Old 06-21-2014, 11:32 AM   #79
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I had never heard of "SMART". That being said, your original post (see above) seemed to be reasonable enough.



It was rather toxic (and, right here in our own backyard). I'm glad you hung in there long enough for the group to finally come around.

I guess Nietzsche was on to something after all:

"Insanity in individuals is something rare-but in groups (including internet groups), parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule"-Friederich Nietzsche (via haha).

I thought just the original post was spectacularly passive-aggressive, considering board membership.

As for me, I am now retired. Among other things, that means that when someone takes a dump on my head I no longer have to thank them for the hat.
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Old 06-21-2014, 12:46 PM   #80
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Rather than goals... as I transition into retirement... I have to-do lists.
Things I'd like to get done/accomplish.
Some are broken into smaller tasks.

For example - I want to get more fit and exercise more. My to-do list includes to items that will help with that: "walk the dog on the beach at least 3 days a week." and "use the elliptical at least 3 days a week."
Another example - I want to declutter the house. My to do list has "muck out the guest room junk". (and I'll move - room by room until the house is decluttered.)

To do lists - in other words a plan broken into small enough pieces to be able to check them off - works better for me than the SMART goals of the corporate world.

I remember a VP having a goal (that had to be passed down to everyone under him) that was 'dazzle the customers'. Um... ok... I guess I needed to sparkle more when I was sitting in the development lab trying to solve a technical issue - sparkle so much the customer could see me "dazzling" even though I rarely had direct contact with them.
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