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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-06-2007, 02:48 PM   #41
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

What's the expression, it's hard to teach someone who already knows everything? My father won't take or ask for advice from anyone, on anything. I have no idea what his finances are like, and he won't talk about it. I suspect he'll get by on SS and a little savings.

My mother and sister have no interest in learning about money. Sis' is married to a high-fee FA so they both let him manage their money and don't care what it costs. I pointed out the difference in fees between his company and Vanguard once or twice, and they shrugged it off, as expected. As long as they're happy with the arrangement, that's fine by me.

I tried to teach DW the basics of investing, but she isn't interested in learning about it, gets angry if I try to teach her, and isn't worried about what happens if I die first. I banged my head against that wall off and on for a few years before giving up and accepting that it's just not going to happen.

Interestingly enough, the only folks interested in advice are my former co-workers. I've steered about 8 of them to Vanguard and a few of those actually read the books on asset allocation I recommended (Gibson, Bernstein).
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-06-2007, 02:55 PM   #42
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

Quote:
Originally Posted by CCdaCE
If she would've left it alone, boy would you eat crow if/when the market tanked. No?
For certain...but I'd hesitate to put money into long bonds in a rising interest rate environment...or ever!
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-06-2007, 03:02 PM   #43
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

I don't give advice unless asked and then don't expect it to be followed.

At work I've been approached by a few people - I tell them to read the Lazy Man's Guide to Investing and pick one approach (also Your Money or Your Life) - with respect to what the company offers, I tell them to try and put the max in their 403B, manage the 7% the company provides gratis (isn't matching, just goes in) and then do their Roth. After that if they are still listening, I work on the after tax savings.

Family - none have asked....Dad is doing fine and is investing like a madman - still works at 60+ but as a tenured professor can be leisurely about it. Mom (parents divorced) is a different case - she owns her own business, however, I don't see her having significant assets--keeps talking about the life insurance policy she has with me as the beneficiary...hmmm. Other family members - nothing.

Friends - when we tell them we save ~40-50% of our income, they look askance - that's OK. What's interesting is that our lifestyle is probably a bit more adventurous than most of theirs (travel, etc), so I imagine they don't realize we save as much as wel do - we just don't drive the high end cars and live in a smaller house....

Husband's older son - is constantly being told by father about money - whether or not it sinks in. Younger son - in general a saver - now if we could only get their mohter not to borrow money from them (they are in their teens). Another story - saver marrying spender and the ultimate friction and break-up.

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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-06-2007, 03:12 PM   #44
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas Proud
Yes, Yes, Yes...... this is one of my sisters.....

She loves it when she is making money in the stock funds, but let the fund drop a penny and she goes nuts.... by BIL tells her to shut up as she doen't know what she is talking about... very risk adverse
Reminds me of my neighbors, they desperately want to retire, but when I ask about there expenses, they have no clue and don't want to know what they spend. If they can save money they want it laid out for them, but they don't want to change there standard of living one bit. There not into preventive maintenance, and they donít plan for the future, since they think itís too complicated and hard.
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-06-2007, 04:44 PM   #45
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

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Originally Posted by JustCurious
Do your family members listen to you when it comes to financial advice? What about parents?
Heck, no! They give me advice...like maybe I should increase their allowance.

Actually, it's more of an indirect request once in a blue moon from my elderly mom to send more money. She asks me for advice but I am always uncomfortable because I do not know what is best for her overseas.

I don't give financial advice to other family members or friends.
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-06-2007, 05:24 PM   #46
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

off topic: flipstress, i thought you lived in the philippines. didn't realize you were in the frozen north. what, are you insane?

back on topic: a few nights ago at dinner my cousin was so happy to tell me that she successfully refinanced, not her house, but her home equity loan. i'd never heard of such a thing before. she refused to tell me how much she has tapped from her house so i'm afraid it is significant.

she's a lovely person but also she has become one of these new agers who would rather pay the likes of wayne dryer to show her how to tell the universe what she wants (the term he stole & misuses is "intending") rather than listen to anything i have to say for free about money and about actually accomplishing what you want with effort, not with wishes. but she won't listen to me. she has stopped learning from all the good example our family has shown her. she tells herself instead that the world will provide, while i watch "the world" strip her of possession.

i wish i could help, but my efforts have been rejected.
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-06-2007, 06:08 PM   #47
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

When I was working and LBYM'ing many members of my family looked at my LBYM'ing as kind of a___ retentive and thought it was the source of all the misery in my life... Now that I'm semi-retired at 36 and LBYM'ing even harder, I have the time to figure out what me happy, and I'm starting to feel and look happier. Now they are starting to get jealous, and covet my stash. They realize that I'm not going to share my wealth with them if they are living higher on the hog, so they pointedly make proud comments about every LBYM decision they make. Overall probably a good situation; I think it's rubbing off on them, even though there's a bit of pretending involved.
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-06-2007, 06:32 PM   #48
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

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Originally Posted by deserat
I don't give advice unless asked and then don't expect it to be followed.
This is our policy as well. I'm happy to share with others what we're doing, if asked, and share general information I've learned or recommend books, but no one I know reads them.

My parents got us started with LBYM and index funds, and my mom and I now converse regularly about our respective finances and run ideas past each other.

I go over our finances with DH on a regular basis and make sure we both agree on what we're doing. I also put all the important information in writing so he's not lost if something happens to me.

My in-laws have never been very open to talking about finances, and I wouldn't be comfortable giving advice to them - more responsibility than I want.

I wish we talked a little more than we do with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law, as they don't necessarily know of our FIRE plans but might be open to the possibility of pursuing it themselves if they saw it was possible.

A great outcome with my sister within the past year was showing her our plans for FIRE (complete with Excel spreadsheet), which inspired her to look concretely at her own financial goals. She has always had big dreams, but after seeing our actual numbers on a page wanted help from me and my mom to make her own spreadsheet and see what it would really take to do the things she wants. Seeing the numbers is giving her a new metric for evaluating her spending and lifestyle decisions.

I have a few friends who occasionally ask for financial advice of one kind or another because they know I read a lot. I don't usually follow up to see what they've done.

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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-06-2007, 07:05 PM   #49
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cute Fuzzy Bunny
Isnt it interesting that we're collectively better-than-average in investing knowledge and likely success, yet even those closest to us arent looking to us for advice and wont take it when its proffered?

Wonder what causes that
My guess is the same thing that causes people to take weight loss advice from Dr. Phil. I know some thin people. They all work at it. Yet no one asks them about weight loss. It is just assumed that they "have high metabolism".

Ha
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-06-2007, 07:07 PM   #50
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

Wife - yes, she trusts what I do w/ the nest egg and has been getting more interested in "the" long term plan.

Kids - still young, 13 and 16. Daughter already has had a job working at one of the local farm/wineries during harvest/tourist time and managed to save over $1000. That is going towards her 1st car - I told her I would split the cost - but, I plan to take what ever she contributes and put into a savings acct. or a Roth if possible to get her started. Son is always looking for a way to make money....hussling me for yard work etc! I think they are off to a good start.

Mom - No way - fortunately my Dad was very savy and set up most of their portfolio - but my Mom sold the "big house" and has downsized - that money is being looked after by a family friend - the guy is loaded and truly a good person but.......?

Friends and ex. employees - This is where I feel like I am making a difference. I have put at least 6 of the above on the right path. I even got a call from one of my x reps to tell me how much he made last year w/ the investments I suggested..I told him to remember the gains when the losses come! But, it felt good to know that I had something to do w/ his realization of how important it is to take control of your money/future.

While skiing a couple of weeks ago I had a converstion w/ a young married couple - they asked what I did for a living and I told them what ever I wanted/retired. They wanted to know how I got done so early......and I gave them the short version(on ski lift) and gave them this forum info. I feel like a preacher!
Went skiing today w/ my kids - priceless time!
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-06-2007, 07:08 PM   #51
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

They don't ask - I don't tell...

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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-07-2007, 12:20 AM   #52
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

Lots of great stories here.

My parents were good examples, LBYM savers who retired early (well, at least their version of early) at age 60. Two uncles also retired early. For a family that started dirt-poor with a blue-collar history, they've done very well and serve as a good example to the next generation.

Both my mom and my father-in-law are well-versed in investing. We occasionally share ideas and suggestions with each other. My dad.... well, he should just let mom handle everything!
Dad: I think it would be a good time to buy a bond fund, they've been doing well these past couple years.
Me: That's great news, my bond funds have really appreciated in price, I need someone to sell them to so I can lock in the gains.
Dad: <frowns> But I want to buy them cheap.
Me: Then you should have bought them a couple years ago when they were cheap.
Dad: <frowns> But they were doing poorly back then.
Me: Why don't you just let Mom handle things, okay?

Anyway, some of my family members talk about finances and investing but there really isn't much of what I would term as direct "financial advice". There are a couple of new-hire engineers, however, whom I was successfully able to give advice to start a 401K ASAP and invest it in a diversified portfolio instead of company stock.
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-07-2007, 01:41 AM   #53
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

Immediate family are all LBYMers so that was never much of an issue.

Dad pretty much knew what he was doing as far as investing although on occasion he did more speculating than investing.

In-laws pretty much knew what they were doing as far as investing.

Mom didn't know much about investing when Dad passed away - Dad did everything. Basically CDs and bank accounts. But she knew how to save and she was smart enough to figure out most of what she needed to know:

- Dad used a broker but made his own decisions. After Dad died she noticed that he was giving her a lot of advice to buy this and sell that and commented to him that he seemed to be making more money on commissions than she was making in profits. He got mad after which she in her polite, christian way told him to F*** OFF and closed the account. She told me about this years later.

- After watching the stocks that Dad had for a couple of years she commented that sometimes they went down but they always seemed to go back up again eventually and sometimes they increased their dividends (she loved dividends) and that she was making more on them than on her money in the bank. Although she was still pretty conservative, she became comfortable with a modest stock allocation. She would check the prices every day in the newspaper. Sometimes if I was there she would do the mental calculation and tell me "I made X or lost Y today on stock Z."

- When I told her it was probably a good idea to sell individual stocks and put it in funds, she listened and agreed and to some extent she took the advice except for stocks that she didn't want to pay a lot of capital gains taxes. I still have some of those stocks.

- Once she had a couple of CDs mature and asked me what to do with the money. I told her to split it between Dodge and Cox, Wellesley and Price International and she took the advice. A year or two later she told me that she looked at some of the other fund info and bought some of the TRP fund of funds. IRRC they call it spectrum growth.

- As an aside she had a neighbor or church member or something that was a FA that asked about managing her money. She showed him the funds that I had put her in. She told me that his comment was: "I can't do better than that! You don't need me!" I was ready to give her investment lecture 101 when she started to tell me about it and about fell out of my chair when she told me his comment.

MB
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-07-2007, 06:05 AM   #54
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

Quote:
Originally Posted by lazygood4nothinbum
off topic: flipstress, i thought you lived in the philippines. didn't realize you were in the frozen north. what, are you insane?
Off-topic reply:
I'm a victim of fate and inertia. I like where I am now. I lived for 21 years in Manila in the same house. After crossing thousands of miles to come here, I moved around a lot, well, a lot for me. I would find it hard to leave familiar places and people now.

Maybe when I am older, I won't be able to bear the cold, but right now, it's not so bad, really. It's -4 degrees F now at 6 a.m., with a predicted high of 10 degrees for today. It's warming up slowly over the week!
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-07-2007, 07:23 AM   #55
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Linney
Dad: <frowns> But they were doing poorly back then.
I love these stories. Really illustrates the backwards wiring most people have on buying investments and properties. Things are on sale...stay away! Things get marked up, grab your checkbook and run out and buy!
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-07-2007, 09:54 AM   #56
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Donzo
While skiing a couple of weeks ago I had a converstion w/ a young married couple - they asked what I did for a living and I told them what ever I wanted/retired. They wanted to know how I got done so early......and I gave them the short version(on ski lift) and gave them this forum info. I feel like a preacher!
By any chance was your preaching in Salt Lake City?
Friends of mine went skiing (I think Alta) and mentioned meeting somebody ER there few weeks ago.

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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-07-2007, 10:41 AM   #57
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mb
- As an aside she had a neighbor or church member or something that was a FA that asked about managing her money. She showed him the funds that I had put her in. She told me that his comment was: "I can't do better than that! You don't need me!" I was ready to give her investment lecture 101 when she started to tell me about it and about fell out of my chair when she told me his comment.
MB
Sounds like that guy was a REAL financial advisor, not someone masquerading as one................
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-07-2007, 11:47 AM   #58
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

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Originally Posted by My Dream
Reminds me of my neighbors, they desperately want to retire, but when I ask about there expenses, they have no clue and don't want to know what they spend. If they can save money they want it laid out for them, but they don't want to change there standard of living one bit. There not into preventive maintenance, and they donít plan for the future, since they think itís too complicated and hard.
So they desperately want something to be handed to them on a silver platter.
Don't we all, but in the real world, some of us realize you have to work toward
a dream, not just want it.
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-07-2007, 12:00 PM   #59
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

Quote:
Originally Posted by flipstress
Off-topic reply:
I'm a victim of fate and inertia. I like where I am now. I lived for 21 years in Manila in the same house. After crossing thousands of miles to come here, I moved around a lot, well, a lot for me. I would find it hard to leave familiar places and people now.
Quite a change. Uncle Sam sent me to the Philippines for 7 years. At least where you are now you won't have typhoons.
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?
Old 02-07-2007, 12:01 PM   #60
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Re: Do your family members listen to your financial advice?

Quote:
Originally Posted by teejayevans
So they desperately want something to be handed to them on a silver platter.
Don't we all, but in the real world, some of us realize you have to work toward
a dream, not just want it.
Well, the "slow and steady wins the race" mentality is not as glamorous as the "strike it rich" scenario...
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