Originally Posted by bbbamI
I have never received any help from my aunts and uncles, but that's ok. They didn't have it to give and I managed to make my own way.
I don't have children or siblings so my nephew and niece by marriage will inherit everything we have. Through the years we have given them money and things...not because we wanted to get on the good side of them; we did it because we wanted to and expected nothing except a 'thank you' of which they gave.
They know they will have power over our lives/finances when we become unable to make decisions for ourselves. It doesn't matter to them how much they get in the end. They will do it because they love us and we love them. They have grown up to be very trustworthy adults and will do for us out of love instead of greed or obligation.
The way I look at it; do something for me because you care, not because you feel you must.
the problem comes when decent people are put in a position of relying on others that are not inherently decent, or who are putting on an act of decency, or who may change as they get older or into difficulty, or are not used to dealing with financial issues that have a lot of zeros.
for persons with an excess of resources, my advice to anyone heading into some form of early or age-related mental incompetence is to determine the income you will need to get to 100 living in a top-flight assisted living facility, buy indexed annuities to cover twice that amount, and have a committee of family plus one institutional professional oversee the writing of cheques on that account, with close to irrevocable pre-payment to the assisted living facility set up.
also, think about the living will and who controls it. The DW of a collegue of mine manages a nursing home. One of the problems they have is relatives not permitting the legal pulling of the plug on brain-dead residents on ventilators, as they don't want the pension cheques or annuities to stop coming.
distribute surplus funds ahead of time to close family to ensure mortages may be paid off and educations completed. Stick everything else in a fire and forget broadly based stock index fund which pays out every Christmas to beneficiaries in a pre-determined formula, subject to your override.