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Old 12-20-2015, 09:26 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by Sunset View Post
So if some kid breaks into your house, you lose everything.
In my case, I keep everything in a spreadsheet and store in a fire-proof box from Costco. We use the same password that every family member would recognize as '********'. For those that I deviated, I replace them with letters or numbers, so it would show, "*****384'. I hope that is sufficient for family, and enough to prevent theft.
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Old 12-21-2015, 07:07 PM   #22
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So if some kid breaks into your house, you lose everything.
Good point! Now I'll have to hide it somewhere where I can't remember where I put it.
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Old 12-21-2015, 08:38 PM   #23
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My DW and I had a good discussion on steps to take if one of us passes suddenly (like both my parents). We touched on pensions, accounts, passwords, trusted advisors and medical and burial preferences. It's a needed and somber talk, but in the end we could go quickly and we want to ease the burden on survivors. I plan to open the discussion with my oldest grown daughter next week. Not quite a joyful holiday topic.

I'd welcome and advice, experiences, etc.
In dealing with MIL lately, it was invaluable to have Durable Power of Attorney. So when FIL passed, and she got dementia, we were able to keep everything moving. Even with that, it was a challenge to prove sometimes.

Also, a good thing to have was her email account and password. This allowed some "I forgot my password" recoveries, coupled with SSN.

As much as you can get on auto pay or on-line, the better, in my opinion.
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Old 12-21-2015, 11:17 PM   #24
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Wishing my in-laws would be better about their aging situation. FIL has hearing issues and physical problems he won't address and MIL is showing advanced signs of dementia . They are in their 80's living in a large home they can't upkeep and won't hire help. DH has to help with home maintenance the best he can on his day off. They refuse to discuss moving even though the home is in a remote beach community that is pretty much vacated in the winter months. They lose power several times in the winter.
I'm so thankful my deceased parents prepared and discussed things before they departed. I now realize how considerate they were.


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Old 12-22-2015, 06:42 AM   #25
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Never understood reluctance of others to discuss these kinds of issues. Makes zero sense to me: death of a loved one is difficult without all the nonsense that comes from shortsighted planning.


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First of all, the "nonsense" is going to happen whether or not you've discussed.

Just my personal experience.

My sons are 21 and 24. 2 1/2 months ago they lost their dad, my wonderful husband of 30 years to cancer at age 52.

Even with a fully planned out life including a prepaid burial, the "nonsense" is there. Grief is a Be-atch.

now after almost 3 years they still will not and do not want to entertain the fact that I will die. subconsciously they know people die but I think the pain associated with losing a parent is just to real for them to willing discuss "casually".

I'm glad you can be clinical and blase about it, for others it's not so easy
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Old 12-22-2015, 12:59 PM   #26
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First of all, the "nonsense" is going to happen whether or not you've discussed.



Just my personal experience.



My sons are 21 and 24. 2 1/2 months ago they lost their dad, my wonderful husband of 30 years to cancer at age 52.



Even with a fully planned out life including a prepaid burial, the "nonsense" is there. Grief is a Be-atch.



now after almost 3 years they still will not and do not want to entertain the fact that I will die. subconsciously they know people die but I think the pain associated with losing a parent is just to real for them to willing discuss "casually".



I'm glad you can be clinical and blase about it, for others it's not so easy

First, I am sorry you lost your husband so young. Second, I am sorry that your children are having difficulty talking about the inevitable. Third, yes, nonsense still occurs no matter plans (God laughs while man is busy making plans), but facing the planning of death (which is not a "casual" discussion) does nothing to hasten death of the loved one while it helps to avoid potentially significant challenges in dealing with an estate. Life is not fair nor easy, but I personally see nothing gained in making it harder for my loved ones after I am gone.

I say this not "casually" nor "clinically" nor with "blasť", but from direct experience. Dealing with lawyers, and banks and brokerage firms after the death of a loved one only adds to the "grieving process" IMO.


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