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ER Euphemisms
Old 05-10-2016, 11:52 AM   #1
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ER Euphemisms

euphemism, noun: 1. the substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive, harsh, or blunt.

This one cracks me up:
http://www.bizjournals.com/houston/n...-downtown.html
Quote:
"I can confirm that eligible employees are able to submit an application under these voluntary redundancy arrangements from today," Tim Harte, vice president of human resources at Shell, wrote in the May 3 memo.
More?
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Old 05-10-2016, 12:25 PM   #2
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Reminds me of the acronym floating around in Saudi as the contract neared its end and the company was downsizing:

FOCUS.

F-Off-'Cause-yoU're-Surplus.
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Old 05-10-2016, 02:11 PM   #3
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All corporate-speak qualifies...

As for acronyms, I invented one for "super-hot" projects that, after busting a hump, jumping through hoops, and basically doing the impossible, then sat on a shelf, forgotten:

Super Highly Important Test
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Old 05-10-2016, 02:17 PM   #4
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The company that I worked for layed off people starting in the early 90's and are still doing it. Here are some of the various terms HR used for firing people.

layoffs, voluntary retirement, transition packages, value recapture (in 2 merger situations), downsizing, re-alignment, rightsizing, management ratio rebalancing, efficiency actions, and a few more that I cannot remember. I think my all time favourite was value recapture.
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Old 05-10-2016, 02:34 PM   #5
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Old 05-10-2016, 03:32 PM   #6
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Not ER, but from my time as a student:

Professor in packed room of students: "We have established a mutual discrepancy in our result records regarding the outcome of the examinations."

... *confused silence* ... *paper ruffles* ...

Professor: "Mr. x who was proclaimed as not having passed the exams, actually did pass."

Mr .x, somewhere in the back: "YES!!"

Professor: "Session concluded".
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Old 05-10-2016, 03:38 PM   #7
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layoffs, voluntary retirement, transition packages, value recapture (in 2 merger situations), downsizing, re-alignment, rightsizing, management ratio rebalancing, efficiency actions, and a few more that I cannot remember. I think my all time favourite was value recapture.
Delayering. Cost synergy acceleration. Grow or go program.
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Old 05-11-2016, 02:30 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by Nemo2 View Post
Reminds me of the acronym floating around in Saudi as the contract neared its end and the company was downsizing:

FOCUS.

F-Off-'Cause-yoU're-Surplus.
To be clear: That's not how I chose my early-retirement.org name!
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Old 05-11-2016, 04:31 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by Nemo2 View Post
Reminds me of the acronym floating around in Saudi as the contract neared its end and the company was downsizing:
FOCUS.
F-Off-'Cause-yoU're-Surplus.
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Old 05-11-2016, 06:32 AM   #10
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These strike me as corporate layoff euphemisms, not ER euphemisms...

Having said that, GTE once got rid of an entire management/structure layer (regional offices) which was referred to as 'process re-engineering' - I thought that had a very nice ring to it.
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Old 05-11-2016, 11:34 AM   #11
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Back in my working days in the 1990s, my old company underwent one of its many reorganizations, mainly at the upper management level. When the new organizational chart was given out to everyone, I noticed that one VP's name was missing. I happened to ask the bigwig running the meeting what happened to Mr. X. We were told that "His position was eliminated." Ouch.
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Old 05-11-2016, 11:39 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HFWR View Post
All corporate-speak qualifies...

As for acronyms, I invented one for "super-hot" projects that, after busting a hump, jumping through hoops, and basically doing the impossible, then sat on a shelf, forgotten:

Super Highly Important Test
We used to have the same acronym:

Super High Intensive Training
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Old 05-11-2016, 03:24 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dixonge View Post
These strike me as corporate layoff euphemisms, not ER euphemisms...
True, and there is a reason for that.
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