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Old 10-15-2015, 05:26 AM   #161
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Bride price remains common in some cultures. Alexander McCall Smith's wonderful Botswana novels continually mention "lebola," the paying of cattle or money to a bride's family (even when the family in question never did anything for the bride).

Still, in an American context, your view of marriage sounds uncomfortably close to legitimized prostitution. I wonder if that is actually how you view it. As for me, nobody "paid" anything for me in a marriage (unless you count the engagement ring) and I've been married twice. Both times, I ended up making more money than my husband. Would you say that makes me a "loser" in the marriage, and I should have held out for someone who would pay more for my services? Or...heavens...do you see it as my "paying" for my husband's sexual input and caring...making him a legitimized gigolo?

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This is very interesting, and not unusual. But how many women have ever offered you the "security if a marriage via a financial arrangement?" I know I have never had any of these offers.

Why does a man trading his sexual input and caring for a woman's sexual input and caring so often require the man to pay boot to close the deal? What ever became of dowry?

Ha
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Old 10-15-2015, 05:42 AM   #162
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What a sad, bitter and misogynistic thread.
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Old 10-15-2015, 06:05 AM   #163
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What a sad, bitter and misogynistic thread.

+1
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Old 10-15-2015, 06:13 AM   #164
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Originally Posted by Amethyst View Post
Bride price remains common in some cultures. Alexander McCall Smith's wonderful Botswana novels continually mention "lebola," the paying of cattle or money to a bride's family (even when the family in question never did anything for the bride).
Still, in an American context, your view of marriage sounds uncomfortably close to legitimized prostitution. I wonder if that is actually how you view it. As for me, nobody "paid" anything for me in a marriage (unless you count the engagement ring) and I've been married twice. Both times, I ended up making more money than my husband. Would you say that makes me a "loser" in the marriage, and I should have held out for someone who would pay more for my services? Or...heavens...do you see it as my "paying" for my husband's sexual input and caring...making him a legitimized gigolo?
Amethyst
+1
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Old 10-15-2015, 06:13 AM   #165
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What a sad, bitter and misogynistic thread.
+1
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Old 10-15-2015, 07:12 AM   #166
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I can think of few things more devastating to FIRE than divorce. Honest discussion is important no mater how distasteful. Shaming in an effort to stifle discourse doesn't add anything. Have a point of view? Make your point.
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Old 10-15-2015, 11:01 AM   #167
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