With your friends assets he really needs a top notch Estate Attorney and CPA. When one spouse dies, the assets do not necessarily flow to the other spouse. It depends on how things are titled and if trusts have been set up. A few things for your friend to consider:
1. The Unified Tax Credit (UTC) amount is currently either 3 or 3.5 million. Your friend should use the full amount of his UTC immediately and give that much to his children. It will put those assets in the hands of his children, reduce his estate keeping those assets from growing inside his estate creating an even bigger "estate" issue for him down the road. He doesn't have to do this all at one time...but this is the way to "give" more than the $13K/person per year. The risk to not doing it now...is that the UTC reverts back to 1 million. I think this is unlikely...as Congress understands the burden this puts on those inheriting small businesses and farms.
If he does the above his assets will be down to 6.5 million.
and if he successfuly "gifts" the $26K a year on top of this......his assets will be eventually be down to 4 million (theoretically - because his assets are growing while he's shoveling it out).
Any amount over the Unified Tax Credit amount at the time of his death is taxable at a Federal rate of 45%. State taxes may also apply.
Notes: If he doesn't want to put that much money into the hands of his children now...he could set up trusts for them, fund the trust...and put age limits on when the trust is dissolved..etc...etc. But with 10 children he may not want this headache. Can you imagine keeping up with 10 separate trust each year, each needing it's own bank accounts and tax return etc.
2. He needs to go to an attorney and either fine tune his will or rewrite it...using what is called a "pour over" will....where all his assets at the time of his demise...pour into a Revocable Trust, a Marital Trust or both.
His wife needs a will also. Is her name on anything? How much will get pulled into her estate if she were to go first?
3. Insurance proceeds are taxable unless they are put into an Irrevocable Life Insurance trust. If used, it is smarter for the kids to be the owners...I think others have posted about this.
But if he doesn't have a small business or some other entity to protect not sure I understand why he would buy insurance....when there are ways to get his assets down...
4. One other thing to check on is Annuities with the children as owners or his estate as the owner. There might be creative ways for the attorney to use annuities inside some of these instruments..... ex: Setting up annuties for the children...rather than gifting outright. It can grow....without creating a yearly tax situation....(until money is pulled out)....