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Old 12-07-2008, 03:27 PM   #21
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DW and I have made a good team in preparation for FIRE, however we have had differing roles in the process. She has no interest in investing, but she has been very frugal - even more so than I.

Just not working against a big-time-spender in a relationship is a tremendous aid in reaching FIRE. Having the same ultimate financial goals (in our case, FIRE) is at least half the battle.
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Old 12-07-2008, 03:36 PM   #22
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My wife counts the money coming out. I make sure the replenishment comes in.

This year, I failed in my job. So, she has to tighten the spigot. Heh heh heh
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When there are 'hidden agendas'
Old 12-07-2008, 06:57 PM   #23
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When there are 'hidden agendas'

My first three marriages were slow-brewing disasters, but ones that took years to uncover that fact. Any economic downturn, leading to a move or a loss in upward grown, was blamable upon myself, with each woman becoming an uncontrolled over-spender of epic proportions.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to LBYM or save for any purpose, when your spouse has 'hidden agendas' and can spend, not only what you make, but what you should have made, if the upward trend in income had continued. Wife #1--now re-married--owns a home, and the inside, includiing the attic and the full basement, are literally crammed with all the boxed-up 'things' she bought while she was over-spending with me, and then with the things she bought while over-spending with him.

At this time, DW (#4) and I are both 'on the same page,' and are active LBYM's. I ER'd 6 years ago, and she did, as well, 2 years ago. We drive one older, small, used car, and live in an older house (mostly paid off) with very little debt. We've 'de-cluttered' three times, so far.

We are happily content.
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Old 12-08-2008, 02:58 PM   #24
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It is great when both are on the same page about finances, which is really about priorities. 1st wife was a big spender, so the 2nd time around I married an accountant.
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Old 12-09-2008, 04:50 PM   #25
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I think that our financial compatibility is one of the main reasons that DH and I have such a successful and conflict-free marriage. We actually talked about how we dealt with money before we got too far down the dating road, because I'd just broken up with a very nice guy who had such a different take on money that I couldn't deal with it. I wasn't going there again -- luckily DH and I matched up very well that way.

One thing I particularly like is that we have complementary skills when it comes to money. We're both competent financial managers, but I'm really great at researching and distilling information (my "job" as an at-home mom gives me time to do this) and DH is fantastic at running analytical projections and models. I'm also a better frugalista, but that's just practice.

I like the fact that we have complementary skills as opposed to skill duplication -- it just seems more efficient. It also means that instead of figuring out how to do analytical models of our finances, I can focus on, say, learning more about annuities.
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Old 12-10-2008, 01:47 PM   #26
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I only wish I was living with a SO that brings in a good income....i cant imagine actually!!!

My wife brings in just enough to pay her car note, nails, hair and clothes...I refuse to pay for those things. She DOES contribute very much to our situation....she's a stay at home mom....but it would be awesome to have two real income streams
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Old 12-10-2008, 02:01 PM   #27
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Frank and I have this "financial compatibility" thing ALL figured out. We live separately and don't mix our finances at all. We talk about personal finance and investing, and often give each other good ideas, which then may or may not become incorporated into both of our financial plans. So far, so good.
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Old 12-10-2008, 08:01 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thefed View Post
I only wish I was living with a SO that brings in a good income....i cant imagine actually!!!

My wife brings in just enough to pay her car note, nails, hair and clothes...I refuse to pay for those things. She DOES contribute very much to our situation....she's a stay at home mom....but it would be awesome to have two real income streams
Don't knock it - I'm a big believer in stay at home moms. Once the kids are old enough she may well go out and work. DW was a stay at home mom for 13 years and I don't regret the loss of additional income one bit.
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