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Old 10-26-2010, 10:35 PM   #41
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I suspect it's a bit easier for me since I'm a woman. We'll see how DH handles it when he retires
Agree with you there. I just tell people I ER and after the customary "what do you do all day?", I sort of get let off easily. I guess being a woman helps. I think DH will be working until official retirement age and maybe more after that. Thankfully, he likes his job.

Oh, other than "what do you do all day?", I now get a new question "what meaningful things have you been doing?".
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:37 PM   #42
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Of course, it simply surprises some people that lawyers routinely value such respect more than money. That physicians and Engineers feel that way surprises few people.
Lawyers value respect more than money? Then they must value respect a lot. I'm currently paying a lawyer for some pretty basic work.....at three times my hourly rate!
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:43 PM   #43
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Lawyers value respect more than money? Then they must value respect a lot. I'm currently paying a lawyer for some pretty basic work.....at three times my hourly rate!
Sorry, the respect I am describing comes from peers, not clients.
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Old 10-27-2010, 12:57 AM   #44
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I suspect it's a bit easier for me since I'm a woman. We'll see how DH handles it when he retires
I think it is. Since I ESR'd 6 months ago I have gotten used to being at home during working hours but I still feel a bit odd if a workman comes to the house during working hours. I worked full time during my entire adult life (the longest break was a maternity leave of 2 1/2 months and another of 6 weeks).

I live in an area where many women (particularly moms) don't have jobs. So no one really thinks it odd that I'm at home. I imagine most of them don't thing I'm retired so much as, well, a "housewife." And since that is not a role that I ever really aspired to, I find that I don't want that assumption being made. No one thinks I'm retired -- not because I'm too young (mid-50s) but because I think they don't assume I ever had anything to retire from. DH is 63 and so doesn't get any negative to be retired...

I still work 1 day a week (lawyer). It always interests me as when I'm at work someone inevitably comes up to me and asks "how's retirement" when I'm clearly actually there still working... I do think that being a female does make it more understandable. I just tell people that DH retired and I wanted to be at home with him...
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Old 10-27-2010, 06:57 AM   #45
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So good to see that pension discussions just crop up all over the darned place around here. Fascinating reading, y'all!
Didn't you hear? This is now the "political rants about pensions" forum.
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Old 10-27-2010, 07:48 AM   #46
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Yes, I know that seems harsh. No, I get no pleasure in being difficult. Do you think businesses let you skip meetings and re-schedule important product pitches because you have the sniffles?"
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Old 10-27-2010, 07:54 AM   #47
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Didn't you hear? This is now the "political rants about pensions" forum.
Yeah, I heard. I'm supposed to feel guilty because DH worked 31 years for his modest pension. In the good old days, that was something to respect and be proud of. Now we need a "pension cover story" more than a "FIRE cover story" to deflect political diatribes and negative comments.
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Old 10-27-2010, 06:38 PM   #48
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Didn't you hear? This is now the "political rants about pensions" forum.
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Yeah, I heard. I'm supposed to feel guilty because DH worked 31 years for his modest pension. In the good old days, that was something to respect and be proud of. Now we need a "pension cover story" more than a "FIRE cover story" to deflect political diatribes and negative comments.
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So good to see that pension discussions just crop up all over the darned place around here. Fascinating reading, y'all!
I made a post here early today, then deleted it. In case some of you had read it earlier, I just want you to know the deletion was my own and not due to a [moderator edit].

Yes, pension gets discussed a lot here, nowadays. I have not been an active participant, but do not see any disrespectful post towards any pensioner, though I know I would be sensitive too, if I were one.

People basically point out bad things that have always been obvious, such as the benefits should not be based on just the last or highest 3 yearly pays with some plans. I read about this many years ago, but do not know if or when anything was done about that. Can you imagine if SS benefits were like that? My private corporation would then hire all of my relatives for 3 years each as my assistant at a really wonderful salary.

Also, people talk about how going forward, due to longer life expectancies, reduced benefits will be needed, or a change to something like a 401k for private sector workers, while leaving current recipients alone. We cannot maintain the status quo and need some changes, because we are going bankrupt! What else do we do?
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Old 10-27-2010, 07:00 PM   #49
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OK, back on the thread topic, which is cover story for early retirement. Mine is on my signature line below. If and when I become an RV bum, I will not even need any cover.
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Old 10-27-2010, 07:22 PM   #50
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I think I'm about done talking about pensions. I realize there's no way I can win in this conversation and am worn down and beaten down. DH and I just gotta look forward and live the rest of our lives. We're too damn old to roll back and make different choices now that pensions are the thing to hate. It wasn't that way 36 years ago when we got married and started out.

Peace.

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Old 10-27-2010, 07:24 PM   #51
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I am lucky that 5 years ago My wife and I retired to a community where birdwatching is considered a job.
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Old 10-27-2010, 07:28 PM   #52
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...there's no way I can win in this conversation and am worn down and beaten down...
As I have told my family, I am afraid I will live to see the day when the young folks look at geezers SS recipients with disdain.

Heck, we are there now, and I still yet have a few years to claim my SS and Medicare. Look, no one is safe!
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Old 10-28-2010, 02:35 AM   #53
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Hello Nords - no worries. I do not think you should retract anything, especially if your family members have already heard it from you face to face or in email. Take care.


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Please let me know if there's a specific post or topic that you think I might prefer to retract. I consider things pretty carefully at the time I'm posting them, and I'll certainly never talk about Jolie Bookspan again on a public forum, but I don't remember each & every post.
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Old 10-28-2010, 02:43 AM   #54
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Hello Purron - sometimes I feel guilty also about discussing financial topics and ER since I am already financially independent and still working. Maybe we should set up a password protected thread for those of us who are willing to discuss further without being criticized or having to deflect negative comments ?

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Yeah, I heard. I'm supposed to feel guilty because DH worked 31 years for his modest pension. In the good old days, that was something to respect and be proud of. Now we need a "pension cover story" more than a "FIRE cover story" to deflect political diatribes and negative comments.
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Old 10-28-2010, 09:13 AM   #55
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Obgyn, we also have a handy "report post" feature (the red triangle) on the bottom of any post you deem inappropriate or a personal attack on any member and as a moderator of the forum, I encourage the use of this button for any such violations of the community rules.
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Old 10-28-2010, 09:32 AM   #56
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Hello Purron - sometimes I feel guilty also about discussing financial topics and ER since I am already financially independent and still working. Maybe we should set up a password protected thread for those of us who are willing to discuss further without being criticized or having to deflect negative comments ?
What Sarah said about using the report post button.

I'd also add that anyone who is sensitive to criticism and receiving negative comments probably shouldn't be posting to an internet discussion board...
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Old 10-28-2010, 10:06 AM   #57
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Maybe we should set up a password protected thread for those of us who are willing to discuss further without being criticized or having to deflect negative comments ?
Easiest way is to set up an invitation-only social group: click on the "Community" tab at the center of the top of the page, select "Social Groups", then scroll down to "Create a New Group".

You can select the members. You'll want to set the membership to "invitation only" and then start adding the poster names.
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Old 10-28-2010, 01:16 PM   #58
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I've never had to have a FIRE cover story. I guess our families and the circles we move in are different from many.

Our families expected us to be able RE since we were the first ever in our families to even graduate High School let alone get a university degree and a white collar job. There was never any criticism or hostile envy throughout our careers.

At work most of my fellow workers were racing to ER along with me before the pension and retiree healthcare disappeared. Our company was a joint venture between 2 Megacorps and the parent Megacorps had already dispensed with their DB pensions and there was constant pressure on the JV board of directors to do similar.

We spend a lot of time at the YMCA, during the morning hours, where the clientelle are mostly young mothers or retired folks, and we never hid the fact we retired this year. If anyone says anything it is all very postitive. If asked we tell them that I was fortunate to still be working for a company that had a pension plan. (for the record, DW's Megacorp stopped their pension plan some years back and she didn't have enough years to be grand-fathered in so her DB pension became a DC cash balance plan, and when she left she rolled it to an IRA).
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Old 10-28-2010, 07:28 PM   #59
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What Sarah said about using the report post button.

I'd also add that anyone who is sensitive to criticism and receiving negative comments probably shouldn't be posting to an internet discussion board...
I have never felt the need to report anyone. I have teased and taunted people here before, and occasionally have received the same treatment. I would pretend to be offended in order to retaliate another time. This forum has been a media for me to hone writing skills. I do quite a bit of technical writing in my work, but I can inject humor and irony in the posts here. It is fun.

I remember in one past thread about what people are good at, I said I was good at making women mad. I forgot what preceded that. But no, I was not the type who "kisses the girls and makes them cry" when I was young. In fact I used to be timid.

I was never mad at anyone here, probably because I did not frequent the political forum when it was still open. And speak of the devil, it was GONE, before I had a chance to read past posts see what the ruckus was back then. Oh well, if I have not read it in the past 2 years, I probably never will, so it was no big loss.
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Old 10-28-2010, 07:48 PM   #60
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...it was no big loss.
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