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Old 08-06-2009, 02:40 PM   #21
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Thanks everyone. I'm probably over-thinking the whole thing. It's weird though...there is a 12 year difference in our ages and we've been married almost 19 years...but DH looks significantly older than me at this point so in the back of my mind I guess I'm always wondering if people look at us and think, "She married him for his money." Even though that isn't true...neither one of us had much when we got together...other than a strong work ethic. And I guess that me not working and living off of "his" money will make me feel like I'm not taking care of my share of the responsibilities. It's hard to explain...
A different perspective if I may...
dh2b gets ribbed by the guys at w*rk about "hooking up with the rich woman" and being my "boy toy" because I FIREd early at 48. He really gets it good if he "borrows" my Mustang to drive to w*rk.
He takes it all in stride and in fact adds to the rumor brew when it suits him. Little do they know...and never will.

On a side note, I hang out with guy friends much older than I am on a regular basis and we laugh about the "looks" we get.

Bottom line? Do what feels best, but do not allow others' opinions drive your bus.
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Old 08-06-2009, 02:58 PM   #22
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Thanks everyone. I'm probably over-thinking the whole thing. It's weird though...there is a 12 year difference in our ages and we've been married almost 19 years...but DH looks significantly older than me at this point so in the back of my mind I guess I'm always wondering if people look at us and think, "She married him for his money." Even though that isn't true...neither one of us had much when we got together...other than a strong work ethic. And I guess that me not working and living off of "his" money will make me feel like I'm not taking care of my share of the responsibilities. It's hard to explain...
I understand totally . I have always worked and supported myself and my children after I divorced and I continued to work when I remarried a man who was also older than me . Considering the fact that your husband is ill would you regret not spending as much time as you could with him ? If you would ,there is your answer .
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Old 08-06-2009, 04:03 PM   #23
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....so in the back of my mind I guess I'm always wondering if people look at us and think, "She married him for his money."
One of my biggest steps toward genuine inner happiness was when I stopped caring about what other people think. Sort of related to the situation you are in, but it was when I left my job to be a full time mom. I had lots of people challenge me as to when I was returning to work, how would we live on just one income, wouldn't I feel unfullfilled/bored/dependent?

I knew in my heart that I was doing the right thing for my family. Just like you are doing the right thing for yours. You've worked all these years, take the time to enjoy it.
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