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First Pension Check....
Old 12-02-2008, 09:24 AM   #1
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First Pension Check....

I have received my first pension check from Columbia University. I started at their Lamont Observatory in the early seventies.

They were one of the first to convert from defined benefits to defined contributions during my employment. After a few years I became vested.

A few months ago I decided to start collecting. Since I am not yet 65, am 61, it is a reduced amount.

They made exhaustive calculations, adjusted for life expectancy, early distributions, phase of the moon, solar radiation, carbon footprint and credits, and came up with a figure: $29.43 for life. Yippeee.

They wanted to know how I wish to receive the funds. I elected paper checks. Yesterday I proudly marched into the local bank, where my checking account is and presented the check to the teller for deposit. Letting her know that this is really a pension check. She nearly choked.

So now I have sufficient funds coming in monthly to cover my daily cafe habit, at the truth and veracity league for part of the month. Where bottomless coffee= $1.17 with tax. 50 cents tip = $1.67 therefore my pension check covers exactly 17.62275449 cups of java.

It may seem anal for this calculation, but, you gotta see the humor in it. In reality in don't care. I just find it amusing.
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Old 12-02-2008, 09:30 AM   #2
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They made exhaustive calculations, adjusted for life expectancy, early distributions, phase of the moon, solar radiation, carbon footprint and credits, and came up with a figure: $29.43 for life. Yippeee.
I'm actually surprised they didn't just give you a lump sum to cash you out of it. It probably costs them more than $29.43 a month to keep track of your pension.
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Old 12-02-2008, 09:32 AM   #3
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hey brother, can ya spare a dime?

just out of curiosity, how long did you work there?
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Old 12-02-2008, 09:35 AM   #4
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I have received my first pension check... $29.43 for life. Yippeee.
Knowing many of us on this board don't get a pension, you thought you'd gloat about yours? How rude...
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Old 12-02-2008, 09:37 AM   #5
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Knowing many of us on this board don't get a pension, you thought you'd gloat about yours? How rude...
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Old 12-02-2008, 09:38 AM   #6
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hey brother, can ya spare a dime?

just out of curiosity, how long did you work there?
In several bursts about 16 yrs. Had breaks with w*rk in the "real world" ie. profit motivated industry.
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Old 12-02-2008, 09:41 AM   #7
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I'm actually surprised they didn't just give you a lump sum to cash you out of it. It probably costs them more than $29.43 a month to keep track of your pension.
Lump sum was an option. I wanted that paper check every month.

Made color photocopy of this first check and DW is having it framed.
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