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For those who have open communication with your family about money, how much will you
Old 10-31-2019, 08:05 PM   #1
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For those who have open communication with your family about money, how much will you

I recognize that in some families, money is a taboo topic, fraught with emotion wrapped in insecurity

However, for those who have been fortunate to be able to have frank and open communication with family about money, inheritance and legacy, how much are you expected to inherit?

More importantly, how do you plan to benefit society with this fortunate windfall?
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Old 10-31-2019, 08:11 PM   #2
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I have a pretty good idea how much I would inherit if my parents died tomorrow. But I have no idea how much I will eventually get after more years of parental living and possible long term care expenses.

This is not my money at this time so I have no plans for it whatsoever. If and when I actually inherit any funds I will make a plan at that time.
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Old 10-31-2019, 08:15 PM   #3
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I have a pretty good idea how much I would inherit if my parents died tomorrow. But I have no idea how much I will eventually get after more years of parental living and possible long term care expenses.

This is not my money at this time so I have no plans for it whatsoever. If and when I actually inherit any funds I will make a plan at that time.
+1
I DIY all my parents' investments, so know where it stands at all times. However, I have not factored any monies into any retirement planning.
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Old 10-31-2019, 08:43 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nancyfrank232 View Post
I recognize that in some families, money is a taboo topic, fraught with emotion wrapped in insecurity

However, for those who have been fortunate to be able to have frank and open communication with family about money, inheritance and legacy, how much are you expected to inherit?

More importantly, how do you plan to benefit society with this fortunate windfall?
We expect to inherit nothing. I suspect we will inherit something.

Our parents are not Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos.

I suspect society will just need to benefit from our spending.
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Old 10-31-2019, 08:55 PM   #5
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I handle all of my mom's money matters. She is in a very nice (and expensive)
CCRC, which she enjoys. At current burn rates, she has ~7 years of money
left. She is 88 and not in the best health physically, but still reasonably sharp.

As long as she is still enjoying her time, I hope I have to start subsidizing her
CCRC fees in 7 years.

I don't expect an inheritance and I don't expect to leave one either. I've done a
few things for niece and nephews (gifted starter house down payment, paid
tuitions). I'm going to burn through my money and whatever is left is willed to
a couple charities.
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Old 10-31-2019, 09:00 PM   #6
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If I ever had a child who asked how much they could expect to inherit from me, the answer would be zero, no matter how much was sitting in my bank account.
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Old 10-31-2019, 09:16 PM   #7
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There is no money in my family. At most I will inherit 1/2 of a house that would be difficult to sell for more than $50K and 1/2 of a 4 or very low 5-figure amount of cash.
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Old 10-31-2019, 09:37 PM   #8
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If I ever had a child who asked how much they could expect to inherit from me, the answer would be zero, no matter how much was sitting in my bank account.
Total agreement.
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Old 10-31-2019, 09:43 PM   #9
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I told my parents to spend their money and enjoy. They did and I intend to do the same.
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Old 10-31-2019, 09:51 PM   #10
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Having open communication about financial matters with family does not necessarily intersect with knowing the amount of an inheritance. Weve raised our children not too expect anything substantial (I think).
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Old 10-31-2019, 11:18 PM   #11
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funny, doesn't retiring early signal to everyone that you have substantial assets? Well perhaps not if it is largely pension.

But for the rest of us I think it does.

I inherited basically nothing from my parents. We know DMIL assets as I do her tax work. But we expect to inherit nothing. It is her money, I expect she will need it.
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Old 11-01-2019, 05:54 AM   #12
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My parents are both 78 years old, healthy, and active, so I can expect another 5-10 years before I have to think this way. They live comfortably on his 41 year pension, and some minimal investments <$100K, and SS. My brother and I would most likely sell the house, and possessions, and split the take. There are a few garage items I would want to keep for myself, but I can't see much more than $100K each after splitting. I would help both of my kids out with this money.

I've often told my parents to spend it all, and have fun, don't save it for us.
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Old 11-01-2019, 06:26 AM   #13
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My family has no money. My wife's mom has $2.4M. I help her with her finances. We talk about inheritance and she is oddly concerned about not spending down her capital to maintain her legacy. We did convince her she has plenty of money and she moved into a spiffy CCRC. Her COLA pension and SS cover all her costs.

As for inheritance, I don't plan on it and don't need it. I would just prefer she put it in trust for our kids and skip us. But that's up to her.
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Old 11-01-2019, 06:43 AM   #14
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I told my parents to spend their money and enjoy. They did and I intend to do the same.
We told my parents the same thing...2 of us are retired and comfortable and the 3rd could be retired but took on some contract work to pad the nest egg. So they know that none of us need an inheritance. They have a paid off house and are frugal by nature so they will probably leave us something.
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Old 11-01-2019, 06:44 AM   #15
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My parents retired comfortably with a lifetime of good finances, no debt, some pensions, and I know they saved well. We do chat about money, strategies, etc., but I have no idea what their net worth is, nor do I care.

I hope they live long and healthy enough to blow as much of it as they can. I only want the china set but that's been a running joke for 20 years.
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Old 11-01-2019, 07:08 AM   #16
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I don't expect anything because both my parents are gone, but while I was reasonably sure that they would leave me something, I planned and went about my life as if they wouldn't.

My mother spent the last few years of her life traveling, which was wonderful, but then started to cut back and talk about being concerned about outliving her money. But she kept talking about helping us make improvements on our house, so after she passed and left us $250K, we used about 20% of that to do home improvement projects we had been considering. She would have liked that. The rest we spent down in order to subsidize maxing out our retirement savings, as it would have been really uncomfortable to put that much into retirement at the income we were making back then. We basically shifted money around to put what she left us in our 401(k)s and Roth IRAs, even though technically we could not do that directly.

My father put me on his accounts a few years before he passed, and made sure I knew where everything was. I tried to pay for things for him because he wouldn't spend much on himself, and eventually showed him our detailed balances in an effort to show him that we would be fine if he didn't leave us anything. He left us $650K, and that is going towards the kid's college and other life events, as he would have wanted. It also enabled us to up our yearly charitable giving, although we've hit a bump with that. I did make a sizeable one-time contribution in his name to a cause that was very important to him (VFW).

My partner's remaining parent is doing fine, and their property is worth quite a bit, but all we're really expecting is that they'll be able to provide for their own health care/home care until the end on their own, we're not counting on inheriting anything except some small items of sentimental value. If there is a considerable estate, we will probably leave a very large donation to their church, where they are very active, and another cause or two where they devote a lot of time (AAUW).
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Old 11-01-2019, 07:41 AM   #17
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My 88 year old mother has transferred all of her accounts (under $100k) to her 4 grandchildren TOD. So I know for sure that there will be no inheritance and that's fine by me.


DW's family won't talk about finances if their life depended on it. Her mother passed 3 years ago and she has no idea if she had a will or not. Her dad is 94 and doesn't say a thing, her sister has POA and controls everything, and I mean everything. We don't ask a word for fear of being called gold diggers.


I have had a sit down with each of our two children, age 25 & 23, and have told them a bit about what to expect on our passing. Our new wills/trusts will give each of them 50% undivided interest in everything. I have given each of them a copy of the wills/trusts and a balance sheet showing where all of our assets are. I also prepared a "What to do when we die" instruction list, it's 3 pages long and describes where our assets are, who to contact, how to rent out the real estate etc....


I also instructed them how I'd invest the money. Add it to your existing Vanguard accounts in the Target date 2065 Fund and forget about it. Don't draw more than 3% a year, preferably none til you're 55 or so.


I added a lot more advice such as avoid financial salespeople, buy only term life insurance, carry lots of liability insurance, marry someone compatible with you financially, be charitable .....


It will be there's to do what they wish, I'm just trying to give them some helpful guidance instead of just dumping a couple million in their bank accounts when we're gone.
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Old 11-01-2019, 07:43 AM   #18
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DWs mom is still alive and we communicate with her on her finances. Shes 90, is physically well and lives alone. She has the beginning signs of dementia and we suspect that long term care will be needed someday. DW will inherit a third of her moms estate if she lives longer than her mom. The amount will depend on how much she spends on long term care.
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Old 11-01-2019, 07:56 AM   #19
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The brother and I will be lucky to get out without inheriting debt. My parent's legacy is not one of financial genius. They did managed to accumulate pensions sufficient to provide a modicum of assisted living care. Given that my Mom grew up as a sharecropper and was poor as dirt, they ended up all right. But they also made decisions that hampered them their whole lives. So I guess I am inheriting lessons on what *not* to do. I know both my brother and I have done much better than they did, so that's a silver lining...
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Old 11-01-2019, 08:00 AM   #20
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I expect to receive nothing. I will be happy if Mom spends the bit she has on making her life tolerable. I'm sure some of my relatives have plans for her money though.
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