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07-13-2009, 09:40 PM
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#1
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 503
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Frugal or Cheapskate
I have a brother-in-law obsess with his hair being extremely short so EVERY two three weeks he would call and bother my wife on Sunday, (the only day of the week where both my wife and I get a day off) and beg for a free hair cut. It was all fine and dandy til 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th... time but I can NOT take it anymore. So I sent him an email asking him not to bother us anymore. Guess what, he came and sweet talk my wife again and she starts to feel sorry for him and beginning to give in.
What am I to do?? Am I too greedy? Keep in mind my bil will live another 40 years, how many damm hair cut are we gonna have to do? DW wants to move to get away but forgot that he drives too. A typical Sunday for us is jam packed. With two young children, a deteriorating house, a business, a mil to care for, we are lucky to have 1 hr to ourselves.
Please, someone tells me what to do....
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07-13-2009, 09:48 PM
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#2
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,183
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Trade him for whatever skill he has! Even if it is mowing grass it takes a chore off of you or her.
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07-13-2009, 10:08 PM
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#3
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Administrator
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,178
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Get him a Flowbee or (annoying link alert) Robocut do it yourself kit for his next birthday - money well spent for peaceful Sundays.
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07-13-2009, 10:37 PM
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#4
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,500
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 Quote:
Originally Posted by crazy connie
Trade him for whatever skill he has! Even if it is mowing grass it takes a chore off of you or her.
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Oh, I think that is a great idea! Or how about babysitting for you, so that you can get away for a "date" without the kids?
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
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07-13-2009, 10:39 PM
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#5
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 17,241
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You need to get your wife to tell him.... not you...
And you can try this on your wife.... 'honey, I know your brother wants you to do his hair, but I think our time together is more important.... if he can not afford a haircut then we can pay for him to get one, but I want to be with YOU today'...
I would be surprised if he took the money, but even if he did I am sure your wife would see that he actually IS taking your 'money', which is your time...
Or you could do what my wife does to me at times... 'honey, the kids and I are going to 'insert here'... if you want to come, let me know'.... I would do this when she scheduled BIL coming over so she will have to miss it... or put him in his place... either way, you will have a good time with the kids...
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07-13-2009, 10:47 PM
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#6
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,525
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crazy connie
Trade him for whatever skill he has! Even if it is mowing grass it takes a chore off of you or her.
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Remember...it's summertime and it's hot out there.
The desired order: haircut first, then he mows the lawn. 
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07-14-2009, 04:42 AM
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#7
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 699
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Maybe thread title should be "Frugal or Obsessive-Compulsive"....
If his hair is short, he can trim it himself in-between cuttings.
I do this - it's not rocket science and looks great.
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07-14-2009, 06:36 AM
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#8
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 10,252
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I don't think this is about haircuts. It's about haircuts with benefits.
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07-14-2009, 08:48 AM
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#9
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 503
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I would like to say thank you to all for letting me unload. LOL!, you are right. I am not that selfish to have DW time to cut her brother hair. It's alot more to it than just that. My BIL have lived with us 3 times each time apprx. 1-2 years (of course, We were just helping him when he was in the rough. Free rent, food and shelter). We had worked so hard so he can get back on his feet but IMO, he does not understand the word "intruding" means.
Again, I hate and feel bad being a jerk but I like to joke around and wearing my underwear around the house freely without the bil waiting for a hair cut and dinner.
Enuff.
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07-14-2009, 08:54 AM
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#10
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,500
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enuff2Eat
Again, I hate and feel bad being a jerk but I like to joke around and wearing my underwear around the house freely without the bil waiting for a hair cut and dinner.
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In front of the kids?  Well, I guess they aren't there all the time.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
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07-14-2009, 09:07 AM
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#11
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,774
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It's hard when it's an in-law. For the most part it's your wife's issue--her time, her inconvenience, her brother. Maybe she likes helping him.
Unfortunately it affects you in that it's at your house and you seem to have to adjust your activities as a result.
I think your wife should go to BIL's place to take care of his hair at her convenience. That way only the two of them are affected.
__________________
“Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?” J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
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07-14-2009, 09:18 AM
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#12
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 503
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bestwifeever
It's hard when it's an in-law. For the most part it's your wife's issue--her time, her inconvenience, her brother. Maybe she likes helping him.
Unfortunately it affects you in that it's at your house and you seem to have to adjust your activities as a result.
I think your wife should go to BIL's place to take care of his hair at her convenience. That way only the two of them are affected.
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My DW has a big heart. Yes indeed she does. Many times she's being taking advantage of and either denying it or ignoring it anyway. I can see your point, the bil can easily says " hey man, I am asking my sister to cut my hair not you". or my buddies can call me up and says "hey let's go a drink, we're not asking your spouse to go, just you. Your time, your convenience and your friend".
I did a google search "Divorce because of.." and got
20 million hits on "Divorce because of in-laws"
1 million hits on "Divorce because of cheating"
amazing, i guess i got to take like a man.
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07-14-2009, 09:19 AM
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#13
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Collin County, TX
Posts: 9,296
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Have him watch "Sweeney Todd" with you and afterwards tell him YOU will start cutting his hair....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweeney...terary_history
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
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07-14-2009, 09:20 AM
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#14
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,183
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Ahhhhhhhhh it's a haircut and a home cooked meal! Perhaps every other time it can be his turn to provide a take out meal for the family. KFC or Subway and the kids will really look forward to his haircut day! Or, make it brunch which you do one time and he picks up bagels the next. They get a visit and you get the afternoon back.
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07-14-2009, 09:21 AM
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#15
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: At The Cafe
Posts: 6,873
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When we lived in the Midwest, a great aunt and uncle drove all the way from California to visit us. The uncle gave us haircuts which I hated. My cousins who had very long hair were jealous, “he didn’t give us haircuts.” And their mom explained that we didn’t want our hair cut.
I think Dear Abby would have a talk with you about boundaries. My dad didn’t want to work on weekends so had no phone. Someone from work would drive 30 miles to come get him. He took to taking the entire family elsewhere on the weekends, even accepting invitations to spend the weekend with his MIL! Desperate times, desperate measures?
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07-14-2009, 10:24 AM
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#16
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: At The Cafe
Posts: 6,873
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Enuff2Eat, another angle on this may be that your BIL doesn't want to separate from you and his sister and the hair cut angle is the only way he knows to tell you he wants to spend time with you. Maybe there is some way you could help/force/tough love to get him to "get a life" of his own. But there we go again, you are the one helping. Maybe he wants to feel a part of a family and loves being in the middle of your chaotic Sundays. Match.com?
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07-14-2009, 11:49 AM
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#17
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lawn chair in Texas
Posts: 14,183
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Want2retire
In front of the kids? Well, I guess they aren't there all the time. |
Yeah, if the kids weren't around, he could go nekkid...
__________________
Have Funds, Will Retire
...not doing anything of true substance...
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07-14-2009, 12:53 PM
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#18
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Gone but not forgotten
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 6,924
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enuff2Eat
I would like to say thank you to all for letting me unload. LOL!, you are right. I am not that selfish to have DW time to cut her brother hair. It's alot more to it than just that. My BIL have lived with us 3 times each time apprx. 1-2 years (of course, We were just helping him when he was in the rough. Free rent, food and shelter). We had worked so hard so he can get back on his feet but IMO, he does not understand the word "intruding" means.
Again, I hate and feel bad being a jerk but I like to joke around and wearing my underwear around the house freely without the bil waiting for a hair cut and dinner.
Enuff.
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My father's brother pulled this crap on us several times until Mother said choose: him or me.
__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
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07-14-2009, 12:56 PM
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#19
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,774
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enuff2Eat
My DW has a big heart. Yes indeed she does. Many times she's being taking advantage of and either denying it or ignoring it anyway. I can see your point, the bil can easily says " hey man, I am asking my sister to cut my hair not you". or my buddies can call me up and says "hey let's go a drink, we're not asking your spouse to go, just you. Your time, your convenience and your friend".
I did a google search "Divorce because of.." and got
20 million hits on "Divorce because of in-laws"
1 million hits on "Divorce because of cheating"
amazing, i guess i got to take like a man.
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Most of the Dear Abby etc. letters are complaints about an in-law.
__________________
“Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?” J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
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07-14-2009, 12:58 PM
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#20
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Collin County, TX
Posts: 9,296
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bestwifeever
Most of the Dear Abby etc. letters are complaints about an in-law.
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Sometimes I refer to them as out-laws...
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
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