Gender divide on financial literacy.

[bclover]

Not sure that I have a specific question, maybe just want to see others experiences.

So my lovely city has decided to do a city wide reassessment on property and it's been a huge cluster*%$ to put it mildly. anyhoo my property taxes went from 5700 in 2018 to an estimated 11, 800 this year. Needless to say I'm contesting it.

Last night I was talking to my neighbors in the alleyway and asked everyone what their reassessed numbers were and 2 of the ladies said..."oh I have no idea hubby handles all the finances".

I was really really surprised by this, both work and both are college educated ladies, not that that should make a difference. Both said they had no idea of the household budget.

Now I cannot criticize too harshly because when my husband passed away I did not know a lot about investing but I most definitely knew how much we spent and our salaries etc etc. in fact that is really how I got here because when hubby died I had to make decisions about his 401k, life insurance payouts etc.

Anyway do you think women are more likely to leave the financial lifting to the guys even today?

 

[CaptTom]

I've seen it go the other way, too. Guys who let the woman deal with the finances.

It can get ugly if one partner willfully ignores financial matters, makes the other one take responsibility for any budget constraints, and then complains about or disregards any such constraints. I've seen that, too.

But if you trust your partner, and they're better at it or prefer to do the finances, it can just be part of a fair division of labor.

 

[donheff]

My wife whipped me into shape financially in my 30s. She paid all the bills for years. As soon as things went online she handed me the mouse and told me to take over. She just wasn't interested. So now she lets me handle the accounts, bills, taxes, everything. But she has a document showing where everything is and how it works and could take over fairly easily if I died.

 

[pjigar]

I think it's a personal choice. I try to keep my wife in the loop with our financial matters but my wife hates it when I do that. She much rather prefers that I don't talk about it.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I handle the finances but we have regular meetings so he knows what’s going on. If we need to cutback we make the decision together.

 

[kimcdougc]

Been married 40 years now (or on July 11th). DH has never shown an interest in our finances. He has access to all accounts but just doesn't want to do it I guess. I tell him whenever something significant is changing or if I am making a change. They have never turned out the lights and he retired early. I must be doing an ok job.

 

[Silver]

I do the annual budget, pay all the bills, manage all the investments, do the taxes, and ensure that things are moving in the right direction. We will discuss any large purchases (over $500) but other than that my DH wants nothing to do with any of it. But he is a software engineer and knows where and how to get all the data anytime he wants, and could manage it just as well as I do.

I am a spread sheet junkie, and Excel is my closest and dearest software friend.

 

[joeea]

Anyway do you think women are more likely to leave the financial lifting to the guys even today?

Some are, some are not. Just like the guys.

 

[Walt34]

I do the day-to-day stuff but DW is definitely in the loop and would have no difficulty in taking over tomorrow if she had to. And she is well aware of where the savings and investments are and what is in there.

 

[audreyh1]

I handle the investing and most of the finances. DH is delighted that I do. But he certainly can handle the finances, and I'm not too worried about him handling the investments if he really needed to. I occasionally explain what I am doing to him. He listens with interest, but is happy to leave it in my hands.

The bill paying - I took that over when I retired as DH had been handling it for years while he was working part time at his own business. I think I've been doing it way longer than him now, but interia.......

He does the annual taxes while I handle the estimated taxes. That way he at least gets one thorough look at our finances annually. He has always done the annual taxes.

 

[footenote]

I do the annual budget, pay all the bills, manage all the investments, and ensure that things are moving in the right direction. We will discuss any large purchases (over $500) but other than that my DH wants nothing to do with any of it. But he is a software engineer and knows where and how to get all the data anytime he wants, and could manage it just as well as I do.

I am a spread sheet junkie, and Excel is my closest and dearest software friend.

LOL - Excel is my binkie.

DH pays all the bills, I mind the investments. He's (unnecessarily) intimidated by investments, but I know he would pick up the basics quickly if I check out first.

 

[mickeyd]

Since I worked in the financial services industry for a while and have taken many related courses, DW has always insisted that I handle it. She has 3 university degrees and is capable of doing all of it if required. I try to have a financial "sit-down" each year and cover RMD, SS, pensions and IPS. I refuse to participate in her RMD management activities and that has forced her into having a greater understanding of our entire portfolio, not just her IRA.

 

[Keim]

My wife whipped me into shape financially in my 30s. She paid all the bills for years. As soon as things went online she handed me the mouse and told me to take over. She just wasn't interested. So now she lets me handle the accounts, bills, taxes, everything. But she has a document showing where everything is and how it works and could take over fairly easily if I died.

Is your wife a gorgeous 5'2" red head with a feisty don't-mess-with-me attitude and a love of bassett hounds? Geez, donheff, are we married to the same woman?

 

[Philliefan33]

I handle all of the bill paying. If I croak first, DH can certainly handle paying the bills (but while I do most online, he would revert to paper checks and snail mail).

We discuss our investments. He likes to check the balances almost daily, I only check my accounts (401K and Roth) when DH asks me the balances.

 

[jollystomper]

How one was raised might be a consideration. My parents taught and demonstrated to both their sons and daughters basic financial aspects of life (my mom was much better at understanding math than my dad, he knew what had to be done financially and she would figure out the best way to do it.). They also encouraged independence in financial matters in all of us. Two of my sisters handle the finances in their marriages (for which their husbands are grateful), and a third sister does not but knows about the financial issues. I had good "finances in retirement" discussions with my oldest sister, who retired about a year before I did. So perhaps parental influence is a factor.

 

[ABQ2015]

My co-workers were mostly male engineers married to SAHM. The men handled the investments and most of the personal finance decisions (what insurance to buy, etc.) but their wives usually paid the bills and handled the routine household budget. In a few cases the wife handled the money, usually because the wife had a business background. Among my neighbors it is about the same although two of my male neighbors are financial advisors so that makes sense for them. For my female co-workers, it was a joint effort with their spouses but I do not know the specific details.

 

[Sunset]

I think DW realized marriage was a great way to pass off the financial 'work' to me.
So I do all the investment stuff.

I make her check the tax returns each year, she usually checks for ommissions rather than strategy or investment weighting. But at least she looks at it.

I told her I wanted to keep our finances separate as in not merged accounts so she has total control of her own credit cards and paying them off. I just think it's critical each person have their own credit card history in life.
She does remind me her credit score is 20 points higher than mine

 

[ugeauxgirl]

My husband is great at managing the finances and I'm sure he wishes I did something else for a living so he could do it, but to preserve the peace, he lets me handle that. He has conceded that my knowledge has been useful in certain situations (lol) but I have no doubt he'd do fine without me. He'd probably give less money away...

 

[Aerides]

Last night I was talking to my neighbors in the alleyway and asked everyone what their reassessed numbers were and 2 of the ladies said..."oh I have no idea hubby handles all the finances".

While I would not be surprised to find the real data show something like a 60/40 split (men vs women handling finances), I wonder if your sample and situation may have led your neighbors to be more coy and use the "oh silly me my husband does that" as a way of deflecting the topic.

Many savvy women know that playing down our talents can sometimes work to our advantage.

But in general I think for growing and working families, it's the woman who handles the day to day finances. The weekly budget. The price of milk at Aldi vs. Publix. What's on sale to stock up on. Plan for that dentist visit for the kids next month. How to best plan that disney trip, etc.

 

[Moemg]

When I was widowed I went to a support group and was shocked that some of the women have never written a check . One woman had no idea how to take out the garbage . My Mother always stressed that we become self sufficient in every way .Thanks Mom for a great example !

 

[ImaCheesehead]

I am the wife and do everything related to finances and planning. My DH fakes an interest if I try to talk to him but his heart is not in it. He would be able to find our spreadsheet of assets and expenses if something happened to me suddenly. I keep everything simple on purpose.

 

[friar1610]

I'm the strategic financial person - primarily handle the investing and strategy attendant to investing. I try to keep my wife in the loop but she's frankly not too interested.

She's the tactical financial person - pays the bills, manages cash flow, transfers excess SS money to savings. She's on top of roughly how much money should be in the checking account at any given point in the month. Frankly, I'm not too interested as long as bills get paid and checks don't bounce.

We coordinate on things like charitable donations, financial gifts to our daughters/granddaughters at Christmas, birthdays, etc.

Works very well as long as we're both still alive and reasonably coherent.

 

[scrabbler1]

My mom handled the finances in my household when I was growing up, and she continued doing that until she passed away in 1995 at age 59. In her last 4 years, battling cancer, she did her best to set things up for my dad. He is not as well organized, but he manages to pay the bills even though he forgets about one now and then (mainly the very infrequent but important ones).


He got an FA in 1996 who managed his portfolio and provides useful, general financial advice.


In 2017, he got injured and was in the hospital and rehab for 3 weeks, so I automated some of his monthly bills to keep uninterrupted services and avoid late fees.

 

[gerntz]

I'm the strategic financial person - primarily handle the investing and strategy attendant to investing. I try to keep my wife in the loop but she's frankly not too interested.

She's the tactical financial person - pays the bills, manages cash flow, transfers excess SS money to savings. She's on top of roughly how much money should be in the checking account at any given point in the month. Frankly, I'm not too interested as long as bills get paid and checks don't bounce.

We coordinate on things like charitable donations, financial gifts to our daughters/granddaughters at Christmas, birthdays, etc.

Works very well as long as we're both still alive and reasonably coherent.

I could have written that, but let you do it.

 

[iloveyoga]

Been married 40 years now (or on July 11th). DH has never shown an interest in our finances. He has access to all accounts but just doesn't want to do it I guess. I tell him whenever something significant is changing or if I am making a change. They have never turned out the lights and he retired early. I must be doing an ok job.

Very similar to our situation. I do have everything written down and set up as simply as possible, but he is not very interested.....