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Re: Going it alone
Old 09-08-2004, 04:31 AM   #41
 
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Re: Going it alone

Hey BUM! Your story is nice. Mine is similar
except I would earn, earn, earn and my spouse (ex)
would spend, spend, spend

BTW, my current spouse and I met on-line. Coming up on 4 years. Relationships can be a lot of work. The
good ones are worth it.

John Galt
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Re: Going it alone
Old 09-08-2004, 01:47 PM   #42
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Re: Going it alone

YOU GO GALT!

BUM
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Re: Going it alone
Old 09-08-2004, 02:30 PM   #43
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Re: Going it alone

John,
I've looked at Match.com.
What was your experiece like.
I'm thinking of trying it.
Any advise?
txs
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Re: Going it alone
Old 09-08-2004, 04:15 PM   #44
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Re: Going it alone

Quote:
John,
I've looked at Match.com.
What was your experiece like.
I'm thinking of trying it.
Any advise?
txs
I'm not John, and I think John stated that he found his wife through an online process. So that is real success.

Several of my women friends use Match.com. They are both cute, but pretty used to being single, and maybe not real eager to pass the USDA inspection process.

Anyway, they have had a lot of coffee dates, and a few dinners. None were bad, but obviously nothing was going anywhere.

In fact, it astonishes me whenever middle-aged people who are not old friends become long term lovers. How can this happen? Falling in love requires blindness to reality that is much easier to achieve when you are young.

I was sitting with one of the women mentioned above the day after a Match.com date. It was hysterical, although I didn't laugh. Her requirements were first that he be "presentable"-- you know, middle class or better job, OK car, reasonable house or apartment. But that was only the start. He had to hate George Bush. He had to be a skilled dancer, including swing and salsa. He had to be at least a few inches taller than she-and she is 5' 8". A little belly is ok, but.....

Anyway, I am sure his requirements were similarly hopeless, so they both continue to run their ads.

One thing that definitely promotes people getting together is disaster. There were several marriages among middle aged people in my dance community after 9/11. I think hurricanes have the same effect.

You are probably young; I didn't check. You have likely thought of or even tried the suggestions I am about to make. So, I apologize for my presumption. But here goes.

If I were young and looking for a woman, I would do some heavy thinking about what type I wanted, and go make myself useful in an environment where those sorts of women might be found. For example, I have found that nurses are an easy group of people for me to like. So I would see if I could maybe volunteer in a hospital, or somewhere that I might come into contact with nurses in an everyday, "getting something useful done" environment. Then be competent, friendly, and casual. So many people are lonely that you almost have to make some hookups.

Mikey
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Re: Going it alone
Old 09-08-2004, 05:27 PM   #45
 
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Re: Going it alone

I was single for about 3 years and did a lot of dating.
Most connections were through Matchmaker and similar
sites. I thought it was good fun, and very efficient.
I could sit at my computer and find out lots of information before ever making a decision to meet. Also, you knew the other person was looking too, so that
eliminated approaching people who had no interest in
dating.
Looking back now (although obviously there were some
disasters), Internet dating seemed to go a lot smoother
than traditional ways of meeting people. Anyway, even
if I had not met my spouse on line, I would still highly
recommend it.

John Galt
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Re: Going it alone
Old 09-08-2004, 05:40 PM   #46
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Re: Going it alone

I met my husband through match.com. I think it works well for two types of people:
1 - Those who have been married before and really know what they're looking for (or not working for) -- this was us.
2 - Those who are extremely introverted and don't get out much.
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Re: Going it alone
Old 09-08-2004, 05:44 PM   #47
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Re: Going it alone

Quote:

You have likely thought of or even tried the suggestions I am about to make. So, I apologize for my presumption. But here goes.

If I were young and looking for a woman, I would do some heavy thinking about what type I wanted, and go make myself useful in an environment where those sorts of women might be found. For example, I have found that nurses are an easy group of people for me to like. So I would see if I could maybe volunteer in a hospital, or somewhere that I might come into contact with nurses in an everyday, "getting something useful done" environment. Then be competent, friendly, and casual. So many people are lonely that you almost have to make some hookups.

Mikey
Mikey and John, thanks for the replys.
Mikey I'm 49 and people say I look younger - I shave my head - people can't tell your age without the hair for some reason.

I'm living in a suburb of Atlanta and it is tough just seeing people no less meeting interesting people. No one walks, I can't walk to a bar. I'm not too hard to please really, intellegent conversation, movies, dinner, plays, (I don't own a TV) walks, mountain biking, road biking and a vacation every once and awhile. The one funny thing I read in the personal adds is so many mention that they like the outdoors - hiking etc that you would think it is a great place to meet someone. I never see a soul!
I think it is easy to talk with nurses since they are usually people persons, who are used to helping people and see a lot of life's problems - maybe a bit more realistic than most in their expectations.
Thanks for the advise.
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Re: Going it alone
Old 09-08-2004, 06:11 PM   #48
 
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Re: Going it alone

I don't know why I feel compelled to post this except
it seems appropriate since we've been discussing dating. During
my "single" years I met a woman (psychologist) who seemed to have absolutely everything. Same politics
(no kidding), very smart (Mensa member), successful,
nice kids, very attractive. My expectations for our first date were sky high. A total disaster start to finish. I will spare you the details, but geez,
you'd think a psychologist could have a great time being
around me

John Galt
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Re: Going it alone
Old 09-08-2004, 06:24 PM   #49
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Re: Going it alone

I recently watched part of some stupid reality show, and they pulled some stupid stunt, but the stats were really interesting.

An average guy stops a bunch of women on the street and asks them 1 of 3 questions:

1) would you go out on a date with me?
2) would you come home with me?
3) would you have sex with me?

About 50% of women said yes to (1). About 10% said yes to (2). And 0% said yes to (3).

Same question asked by a female to random males:

About 50% of men said yes to (1), about 90% said yes to (2), and about 90% said yes to (3).
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Re: Going it alone
Old 09-09-2004, 06:07 AM   #50
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Re: Going it alone

Quote:
I recently watched part of some stupid reality show, and they pulled some stupid stunt, but the stats were really interesting.

An average guy stops a bunch of women on the street and asks them 1 of 3 questions:

1) would you go out on a date with me?
2) would you come home with me?
3) would you have sex with me?

About 50% of women said yes to (1). * About 10% said yes to (2). * And 0% said yes to (3).

Same question asked by a female to random males:

About 50% of men said yes to (1), about 90% said yes to (2), and about 90% said yes to (3).
Which proves 2 points. One, we already know. (Men are pigs). Two, 10% of the male population are gay.
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Re: Going it alone
Old 09-09-2004, 06:43 AM   #51
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Re: Going it alone

Quote:
(Men are pigs).
Dogs. Men are dogs. Many men are pigs, but all are dogs. WOOF!

Re: online dating: Hasn't worked for me. I've been a computer guy since the dial-up BBS days, but meeting online to me has never had any significance with respect to meeting someone in person; the online impressions and relationship and offline impressions and relationship aren't correlated in my experience. Besides, I've noticed that the most interesting people I've met I would never have emailed online if I had seen their traits listed in a personal ad. (Older smokers, for example.)
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Re: Going it alone
Old 09-09-2004, 12:58 PM   #52
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Re: Going it alone

Quote:
. . . but meeting online to me has never had any significance with respect to meeting someone in person; the online impressions and relationship and offline impressions and relationship aren't correlated in my experience. . .
In fact, if we all were able to meet in person, we would probably find that:
1) John Galt is shy and insecure,
2) unclemick is a 13 year old girl from Missoula,
3) TH is actually not human but is a dog,
4) Bob Smith is a type A, power-crazed executive,
5) cuthroat has not been outside his home for over a decade,
. . . .
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Re: Going it alone
Old 09-09-2004, 01:36 PM   #53
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Re: Going it alone

I agree that computer dating can be an invitation to some to be deceptive. I have also noticed that many people just don't really know what they want. Sometimes the list of "likes" provided includes things that they think they'll like but haven't really tried, or that they enjoy in moderation. Example: "hiking" to some means an hour walk on a wooded path and a visit to an ice cream stand, and to others it means an all-day high-peak excursion....
Anyhow, I tried a local singles line that uses phone messages to contact the other singles...took some weeding out, didn't spend a lot of time on the phone, met them in person quickly if they seemed my type, and had some very good results....
My 2 cents
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Re: Going it alone
Old 09-09-2004, 03:30 PM   #54
 
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Re: Going it alone

Hi Adventuregirl! Actually, for the lazy male, it
(on-line dating) is the only way to go. I recall I got
some raised eyebrows though. I will never be available again (weeping and lamentation is heard across the land)
but if I was, I would stick with the on-line websites.
Seems like a no-brainer to me.

John Galt
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