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Gotta Love AIG.................
Old 09-27-2006, 10:54 AM   #1
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Gotta Love AIG.................

So, here I go around the mulberry pole with yet another insurance company:

Me: Hello, I'm calling about the letter you sent my sister

AIG: Is this the policyowner?

Me: No, I am her brother and personal rep, she died August 30th. You sent her a letter stating you needed a W-9 signed, as you didn't have one on file..........

AIG: Well, we really need to speak to the POLICYOWNER...........

Me: I'm sorry that won't be possible, she's dead. I am her legal personal rep, and would be happy to send you a death certificate and my court appointment as personal rep.

AIG: Oh, no problem, we'll send you a quick claim form, and you can sign it and send back the info, and we'll cut the check.

Me: Cut the check to whom, her estate?

AIG: I can't answer that, because you're not the policyowner.........

Me: Am I the beneficiary?

AIG: I can't answer that, either..............

Me: If I fax you a death certificate and my letters of appointment, can you release that information to me?

AIG: No, you have to sign the quick claim form, and the we process the check.........

Me: Check will be made out to whom?

AIG: I can't answer that...............



And that was the manager of the claims department...............
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Re: Gotta Love AIG.................
Old 09-27-2006, 11:46 AM   #2
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Re: Gotta Love AIG.................

I'm tempted to move this to Funny Joke Thursday--dark humor indeed
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Re: Gotta Love AIG.................
Old 09-27-2006, 04:20 PM   #3
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Re: Gotta Love AIG.................

This reminded me of something:

>> One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of
you,
>> is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone
>> call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to
>> be as irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it
>> went something like this: (swallowing)
>>
>> Me: Hello
>>
>> AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T...
>>
>> Me: Is this AT&T?
>>
>> AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...
>>
>> Me: This is AT&T?
>>
>> AT&T: Yes This is AT&T...
>>
>> Me: Is this AT&T?
>>
>> AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please?
>>
>> Me: May I ask who is calling?
>>
>> AT&T: This is AT&T.
>>
>> Me: OK, hold on.
>>
>> At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking
>> that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my
>> salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they
were
>> still waiting.
>>
>> Me: Hello?
>>
>> AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
>>
>> Me: May I ask who is calling please?
>>
>> AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
>>
>> Me: Is this AT&T?
>>
>> AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
>>
>> Me: This is AT&T?
>>
>> AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron?
>>
>> Me: Yes, is this AT&T?
>>
>> AT&T: Yes sir.
>>
>> Me: The phone company?
>>
>> AT&T: Yes sir.
>>
>> Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.
>>
>> AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company.
>>
>> Me: I already have a phone.
>>
>> AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Byron.
>>
>> Me: Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for
>> calling.
>>
>> When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can
>> express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not
>> interested", but this lady was persistent.
>>
>> AT&T: Mr. Byron we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24
hours
>> a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
>>
>> Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a
>> minute but she at no time used the word rate. I could clearly see
that
>> it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little
>> ciphering.
>>
>> Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?
>>
>> AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes
sir
>> that's right! 24 hours a day!
>>
>> Me: 7 days a week?
>>
>> AT&T: That's right.
>>
>> Me: 365 days a year?
>>
>> AT&T: Yes sir.
>>
>> Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
>>
>> AT&T: We think so!
>>
>> Me: That's quite a sum of money!
>>
>> AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it adds up.
>>
>> Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big
one
>> at the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send an
annual
>> check, can I get a cash advance?
>>
>> AT&T: Excuse me?
>>
>> Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
>>
>> AT&T: What are you talking about?
>>
>> Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days
a
>> week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1,008 per week
and
>> $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be
>> making payment.
>>
>> AT&T: Oh no sir I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10
cents
>> a minute.
>>
>> Me: Wait a minute here!!! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a
>> minute. Are you sure this is AT&T?
>>
>> AT&T: Well, yes this is AT&T sir but......
>>
>> Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give
me
>> 10 cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this
some
>> kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like
>> this in the Enquirer you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing
>> techniques on me.
>>
>> AT&T: No sir we are offering 10 cents a minute for.....
>>
>> Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!
>>
>> AT&T: Sir I don't think that is necessary.
>>
>> Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later?
>>
>> AT&T: What?
>>
>> Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
>>
>> AT&T: Yes Mr. Byron. Please hold.
>>
>> So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to
>> eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few
minutes
>> and while I have a mouth full of food...
>>
>> Supervisor: Mr. Byron?
>>
>> Me: Yeth?
>>
>> Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10
cents
>> a minute program.
>>
>> Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth?
>>
>> Supervisor: Yes sir, it sure is.
>>
>> I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do
>> to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a
>> snort.
>>
>> Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so
>> that I could sign up for the plan.
>>
>> Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who
>> was helping you.
>>
>> Me: Thank you.
>>
>> I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I needed
>> to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but
>> polite voice at the other end of the phone.
>>
>> AT&T: Hello Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in
signing
>> up for our plan?
>>
>> Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never
>> have enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to
have
>> a little brother...
>>
>> AT&T: (click)
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Re: Gotta Love AIG.................
Old 09-27-2006, 10:15 PM   #4
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Re: Gotta Love AIG.................

SecCor

That is the funniest thing I've seen in FOREVER!
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